Just a girl in a man's world...

I didn't make it, suga
Playin' by the rules


Doing laundry and listening to music...

Perhaps I was the only one laughing...

Things are pretty much okay. Or rather, as expected.

Drank some wine with a friend yesterday and the Persian dropped by. My friend then proceeded to interrogate him as if we were in some African village somewhere and a man had just come to ask for my hand in marraige.

Thank God I was drunk because it was quite embarassing. I think at one point she even asked "what are your intentions" or something equally irritating. I wanted die but thank God for the wine, because after a while, I actually began to enjoy the drama that was unfolding before my eyes. The Persian was looking straight at me and sitting upright while my friend was nodding away in deep concentration. They both seemed so serious.

At that point, looking at my friend and the Persian, I began to wonder if I was the only one laughing?

And some hip hop...

I listen to hiphop when I have to get into my hustler mood.

So I can feel like I am hardcore, which is how I HAVE to be sometimes to get through stuff.

Especially when I am feeling extremely tired and I just want to lie down right in the middle of the street and say "whatever happens, let it happen. I ain't taking one more fucking step".

Just when I am about to make this dramatic performance on the road, I start humming some hiphop song and pretend I am some hardcore hustler...

It works, you should try it.

P.S: Today, I washed some underwear by hand cos I did not want to put it in the machine. Anyway, sun was really shining and I was thinking I should just hang it by my window...but I was not sure if the people in the opposite building would see it...after thinking for a while, I decided to just hang it. And just as I did, I heard a whole bunch of whistling and laughter! When I looked across, the window of the apartment opposite mine was open and there were a couple of guys looking at me and drinking beer. I wanted to die!!!

New stuff...

Fruits in bowl (I don't buy fruits cos they just go rotten but Persian guy eats lots of fruits...so he has that...a huge bowl with fruits always on his living room table. It reminds me of the movie "Samson and Delilah").

Turkish music.

Some kind of pure sugar on a stick. Looks like a lollypop. Its for tea.

The constant tea drinking.

Dates (the fruit).

I don't mind all this new stuff. In fact, its quite comforting. Eating fruits and pretending I am in a desert somewhere in some kind of love story...wearing all that silky stuff floating in the desert breeze...while my knight in shining armour feeds me red grapes...

Another "tired" day...

I have been very tired lately. Which reminds me of my terrible winter when that nasty bacterial infection caused chronic fatigue. It was the most terrible thing I have every experienced. But let me not think about that...

I am having my period and feeling very uncomfortable and disgusted with myself and everything around me. I have had a shower twice today already.

I am just irritated.

Maybe I am just tired because I have been travelling a lot around the city lately. I often have to change buses, trains...almost everyday. Sometimes I miss the bus then I have to walk and then miss my next connection etc etc... Maybe that's whats got me so beat. I don't know. In fact, looking back at all the places I have been last week and how many times, I seriously don't know how I manage. I just block my mind and get into robot mode if not, I'd feel sorry for myself.

I can't stand my hair especially. It looks frizzy and dead.

I wore ear rings today to try and feel better but it just felt like dead weight on my ears so I removed them.

I hope its just cos of my hormones cos I really feel like crap. I don't feel sick though...

Just irritated and disgusted...

My friend once told me about a beautiful sunny day, when she and her guy were walking in a beautiful park, and in the moment of beauty, they stopped and kissed...

and an old woman sitting on a bench nearby squeezed her face and almost spat out the word DISGUSTING!

I feel like I could be that old woman today...

Too Afraid To Love You...

I don't want to hurt anyone.

I hate being a mean person cos I am not mean.

But I can't just let loose and enjoy anything...

And I don't want to punish anyone for another's sins...

I can't relax, you know.

The only thing I think about all the time is

"I can't afford to lose one more teardrop from my eye"

I am so fucked, men.

Tired...

I feel so tired.

So I am watching some Naija music with Terry G to give me some energy...

Yep. I like that mad man Terry G.