Love Minus Zero/No Limit

Someone made a quote today...he said "my love speaks like silence"...it was something beautiful I thought...then he said it was from a Bob Dylan song...and you all know I just had to find it..and yeah...beautiful lyrics.

My love she speaks like silence
Without ideals or violence
She doesn't have to say she's faithful
Yet she's true, like ice, like fire.
People carry roses
Make promises by the hours
My love she laughs like the flowers
Valentines can't buy her.

In the dime stores and bus stations
People talk of situations
Read books, repeat quotations
Draw conclusions on the wall.
Some speak of the future
My love she speaks softly
She knows there's no success like failure
And that failure's no success at all.

The cloak and dagger dangles
Madams light the candles.
In ceremonies of the horsemen
Even the pawn must hold a grudge.
Statues made of match sticks
Crumble into one another
My love winks, she does not bother
She knows too much to argue or to judge.

The bridge at midnight trembles
The country doctor rambles
Bankers' nieces seek perfection
Expecting all the gifts that wise men bring.
The wind howls like a hammer
The night blows cold and rainy
My love she's like some raven
At my window with a broken wing.

Happy Sunday

Ogbolokokomioko!

There are many things I can't stand in life and one of my many irritations would just have to be people that can not stand for their opinions or principles in life. People that are easily swayed by other people. Now I agree that one has the right to change one's mind. We should be able to use information and knowledge and mold it into our own lives as it fits us. Yes, one should be able to change an opinion if one thinks he/she now knows better. Those are not the kind of people I am talking about.

I am talking about those people that sway wherever the wind blows. Today when you meet them, they think one thing, tomorrow they are now thinking another, next tomorrow, its a whole different ball game. You wonder whats going on...then you realise he was with John on Monday and then with Christina on Tuesday and tomorrow he will be with Olu. First of all, if you have been brought up in Nigeria and you still behave like that, then I really pity you. It is a known fact that we talk with confidence on any subject as if we are experts. As if we have two PhDs and have done considerable research on the subject at hand. People are always telling you EXACTLY what you should be doing. They will sit down and with grave solemnity and authority tell you in great detail, what you should be doing with your life, clothes, friends, food...anything and everything. Now, if you are smart and enquire further about their unshakable convictions about a certain subject, do not be amazed to hear "because my sister's husband's cousin said that something like this happened to his neighbour and this is what the neighbour did". Also, in case you have all not noticed, we are all about the "hype". We can "hype" our way in, over, on top, across any situation. We love the "hype", the feeling that we are "in the know" when the truth of the matter is if you scrape just a little bit at the gold surface, all you will have is shit.

Now, if you are a teenager it is still permissible..that's why it is called "Peer pressure". As an adult, it is called STUPIDITY. There is no reason why anybody should still be listening to others when you have the brain and ability to make your own decisions. Do you really believe that these people are more intelligent than you? Sometimes people really have to step back and analyse the kind of people that are talking...if they knew so much, why are their own lives not top notch? Why are they not the ones enjoying the kind of life they think you should? Why are they not doing EXACTLY what they THINK you should do?

The most unattractive human being is one that has no opinion of his/her own. Sometimes, people really have to think, "who am I"? If you still do not know who you are as an adult, whatever you do, please do not live in Nigeria, because you will become a thousand and one things and none of them will be you.

And to such people, I ask, "dem give you *ogbolokokomioko chop?"



*Ogbolokokomioko is a type of love potion used to cast spells on men. It is rumoured that if such a potion is used on a man, he loses all his senses and does exactly as the women desires.

Come on!

"Come on!" that's what I screamed out loud with my hands up in the air as three buses whizzed past me going in the opposite direction. You see, I live in an area where there are two bus stops at my disposal. However, these two buses go in opposite directions but taking either of them will still get me to my end destination. Now, since I can take any of the buses one would think my life in the mornings would be so easy right? WRONG!

These two buses leave at almost the same time and I have to choose one bus stop. Now, I know the genius minds there are wondering, why not just stand in the middle? And then run to any of them when you see either of the buses appear? My good friends, the middle ground here is a fucking bridge! Even if I decide to stand in the middle and risk getting run over(possibly by another irate human being that is having his/her own traumatic morning)I cannot see the bus in time to run back or forth to either of the bus stops. The two bus stops have been designed with precise precision at the two corners of a long winding downhill road (I am sorry, this is the best I can do with the description). Let’s just call the two bus stops “uphill” and “downhill” for easy identification.

So, every morning I make a decision as to which bus stop is worth having a traumatic experience under. You see, you all know that whichever bus stop I choose, I will be standing there, watching in agony, as buses go in the opposite direction...now, I dare not run to the opposite bus stop because the moment I do, a bus will suddenly appear at the very bus stop where I had been standing all along! Sometimes I try to trick the universe and pretend I am going to the "downhill" bus stop so that the buses will then go to the "uphill" bus stop which was my original destination all along. Of course this never works; the universe knows that I am actually going to the "uphill" bus stop, so it sends the buses to the "downhill" bus stop!

Still following? Good. Now, after many months of running like a crazed woman back and forth and trying different brain tricks, I decided that each morning, I am going to stand in just one bust stop and no matter what happens, no matter how many buses whizz past me, I stand there patiently and wait for the bus. No more nervous break downs and running in zig zag.

Now, making this decision is also very problematic because both buses have advantages and disadvantages. The "downhill" bus takes you to the underground, which is actually the best and it does not matter if the bus is late because the trains come regularly. The problem with this bus is that it wastes so much time in between stops. The main causes of this problem are mothers and their prams, which I now call German tanks. The bus can only take two prams and they have to be of the regular kind. However, these days, they now have the kind that is like "double"...you know, they can have two kids in it. They normally have one baby and then a bigger one beside...I am sure you have seen them, huge tank like carriages. Anyway, just one of these ugly things can take up the whole space meant for two regular prams. Now, every, single morning, do you think we have just one mother with one tank? Nope. Always, more than four or five mothers arguing and pushing to try and get their tanks in the bus. This takes an enormous amount of time with the bus driver coming down and trying to decide who actually came first etc, etc...And all this while, all I can do is scream "COME ON!"

The other bus, the "uphill" one is calmer but it takes you to the train...which for some reason is not as appealing to people as the underground is. This bus would be perfect if it was not scheduled to arrive with exact precision with the train. So you take the bus, and as the bus gets to the train station, you actually have to run to get the train. Now, it does happen, quite often actually, that the bus driver decides to drive like he is in Lagos traffic...so slow, that I am usually screaming with my hands in the air, "COME ON!” Many of you might think that this ride is not as traumatic as the other one but I assure you, when you run like a mad woman, through the tunnel, then up the stairs, then you see the doors close right before your very eyes...and then you look at the board and the next train is in twenty minutes....

COME ON!

250 million women in the EU. Not a single one good enough?

During the coming 12 months, four politicians will be appointed as leaders of the European Union. For fifty years now, the picture of European political leadership has remained the same. It is time for a change. International top posts should always go to the most competent candidate. There are 250 million women in Europe; it should not be too hard to find qualified candidates among all these.

If you wish to see at least one female appointed as leader of the European Union, sign here.

You see how determined I am to speak french?

Yep, na by force! I must sing this song...I am halfway already...lets see how it goes by next week..

No marraige please!

This post was inspired by the debate going on here

There comes a point in a woman's life when you have to decide...ehhhhh...got you! Nope, there is really no point in your life when you have to decide shit. I am so tired of people telling women just why it is such a joy to get married. We know all the reasons...we've been told since childhood...but what about the reasons NOT to get married? Well, let me see...lets see if I can come up with ten? Yep, that will do. Ten reasons.

1) You have to see the same damn face every morning. You wake up and oops! same mutherfucker.

2) Those little humans you bring into the world are dependent on you for...wait for it...LIFE! You have to worry about them until the very day you die. Even on your dying bed, you will worry about them worrying about you.

3) You can't return that man if you find out certain features that he came with are not up to standard.

4) Oh! the cleaning, the cooking, the washing...it never fucking ends! It just goes on and on and on....

5) You remember that cute guy that has been checking you out? The one with the big muscles and good looking ass? Forget him! You are married!

6) Its not enough that you have your family to deal with...now comes a whole bunch of human beings...and they are on a whole other level too! It will take a life time trying to figure out how they all work...hell, you haven't even figured out the mechanisms of your own family.

7) Yeah, yeah, you've got to compromise. Forget about what you want, now its all about what "WE" want...boring!

8) This is the best part...those couple dinners, family outings with other families, birthday parties, all those smiles, teeth flashing,"oh life is so great"...exhausting.

9) The never ending maintenance of your body. Don't forget to oil and patch yourself up cos if you don't, that man sure is gonna get his servicing somewhere else!

10) Have I mentioned that you have to see the same mutherfucker everyday?


Note: If you do not have a sense of humour, just pretend you did not see this.