Happy Weekend!

Have a great weekend guys!

Lots of love

and remember, you are wonderful.

Note the trees have time to blossom, change their leaves

It would be wrong of me to keep holding unto who I used to be...

I can hide all I want but the seasons have changed.

I need to shed my cocoon but its scary...

Cos even though the cocoon was suffocating, at least, it was safe.

But as Bob Marley says, even the trees have time to blossom, change their leaves.

I used my time well. And I guess its time to change my leaves.

Whether I like it or not, its time to get back into the groove of life.

I have to go with the flow...and be this new healthy minded person...

Thats what I have to do. After all, I did the hardwork, I might as well begin to enjoy life...

Life is mine.

Totally weird...

How could this be? Okay, so last week, I put my bank card in the cash machine and all of a sudden, I realised that I was punching in my old code...so I stopped. I tried to remember my new one which I have been using for some time now. Maybe three months or so. I used the old one for many years...

So I decided to just let it be...that I am sure it would come back to me. All this while, I have had cash so it was not really a problem. Then today I thought I had remembered the code so I tried again but its a wrong code. No matter how hard I try, it just won't come back.

And I can't find the paper I got from the bank with the code on it. I can find the envelope with which I recieved the damn code but not the paper (by the way, why I keep empty envelopes is beyond me...that is certainly an issue to be analysed. I have stacks of opened enveopes...let me not even say "opened"...actually, "torn" or "ripped" apart...)

This is totally freaking me out. Why can't I remember my code?

The thing is I have so many fucking codes for all kinds of things...its no wonder this one has just taken a hike from my brain. Last week I had to learn a new code for another door again...maybe when I memorised that one my bank code was replaced.

and where is that paper? I know I did not throw it away...its here somewhere...

UPDATE: Found the paper. It was in a bag that looked like it was meant to be thrown away...at least the paper bag looked like I had gone through all the papers that were in it...ehhhhhh...that was just the appearance. Inside, there are some serious documents men...why did i just dump important papers in a brown paper bag that looked like it should be thrown away? Jesus!

Morning mummy blues...

So I just saw my friend totally flip out on her daughter. She got angry cos her daughter was watching TV when she should have been dressing up for school...

Men, she just lost it and started screaming at her...

I work with kids so nothing of that sort ever disturbs me.I am sometimes alone with 15 screaming kids that never listen to anything you say. You can say the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again...you will lose your mind if you have a short fuse.

Plus, I worked for a long time with autistic kids and now with kids that have adhd...ha ha ha ha, "normal kids" for me is just "holiday" time. At least, you are not in danger of being beaten or kicked or scratched or have your eyes plucked out...

I babysit the girl often and I have been here for some days now having abandoned my apartment for a guest. The girl is an angel. She is no problem at all. But that's what I also thought about myself when my own mum used to scream at us every morning. I used to think, "what the fuck is her problem?"(By the way, now my mum denies ever screaming at us like that. In her mind, she was always patient...right! She used to go nuts at us right before we leave the house for school. It was crazytime at our home every morning. My dad was always like how I am now. If you don't do as he says, thats your problem. If you don't comb your hair, ehen, you will go to school like that. Which is how I am. I don't sweat the small stuff...nobody will die from those imperfect little details...)

My analysis of today's morning is that my dear friend is stressed because she is running late. Its totally her fault and not the kid's but like all mothers, they just scream in the mornings...I think its a biological thing. They need to get angry to get things rolling...

I feel a bit guilty though cos I should have said something to the child when she put on the TV but I seriously did not think it was a problem. Her mum was busy going nuts in the kitchen and the girl was basically just hanging around waiting to be taken to school...

Anyway, I need to get going. I need to be out of here before my friend returns and also starts screaming at me.

Good morning.

Life matters, logic, hate, "anonymous", etc

The wise discuss ideas,
The fools discuss how people behave.

Paulo Coelho


If there is anything I absolutely DESPISE is people trying to involve me in shit that does not have anything to do with my world. Those that have been coming to this blog for years already know me and the kind of life I live. Its very simple. I live mine and you live yours. What people do in their own lives, I have absolutely no need to know neither am I bothered by it. Everybody has their own path to live and thats what I believe.

One of the main issues I had when living in Nigeria is the extremely low level attitude towards life that many people have. No offense to anyone but thats how I see it. I absolutely despise this whole conniving, hate and malicious shit people say about each other. People would just come up to you and start talking shit about people you dont know and even if you did know them, is not your business ( I once was on a journey with three ladies who had a couple of mags with them. I swear for the whole journey, all they did was turn the pages of the mags, abuse all the women in it, from head to toe. You can not imagine how many hours of hate I had to sit through. That was perhaps by far, one of the worst days of my life. I was so sad that women had nothing else to do with their brains than just insult one woman after another. At the end of the journey, I asked them if they actually knew any of the women in the mags they had. Of course they did not! To devote so much time and energy on people you don't know, defies logic, at least, in my world. I just don't get it).

My brain is very precious to me, I use it for only productive matters. I seriously do not have any brain capacity for such extremely shallow issues. And even if I had a bit of space for it, then it will be something to do with my own life and not others, be they family or friends.

It is something that I have never understood and still can not understand that kind of level of shallowness, In my own universe, it does not exist. It is just beyond my scope of understanding.

For the past couple of days, somebody has been leaving very nasty messages on my blog. Now, if these messages were meant for me, perhaps they would make some sort of sense. But they are for someone else.

I do not know why this person is leaving comments here when they can contact whoever they wish to directly. There is email, facebook, twitter, if you google the person's name, you will also find a blog.

So why come on here to stalk another human being? It makes no sense.

Also, why can't the person just deal with his/her issue properly? If you have an issue with someone, the proper and sensible thing to do is to confront the person directly and discuss what your matter is.

All this going around stalking, leaving comments here and there, on some sort of "hate rampage", is just the coward's way out.

Be brave, say who you are and confront the person. Cowardice will get you no where in life. If you really feel so strongly about somebody that you can devote time and energy to the person, then you might as well do it properly. What's the point otherwise?

But like I said in the begining, Naija life for me, defies logic. People would rather spend hours, days, years, gossiping and spreading hate than directly dealing with their problems. If only people would use that energy for themselves, they would achieve much more than they actually do. Imagine having so much energy but a postive one and using it on yourself? One could get so much done in life...


Maybe people just enjoy that sort of thing. I don't know. In my opinion, such hate and anger(and more often than not, motivated by envy)is destructive and very unhealthy for the soul. Nobody should bear such hate within them. It is a burden that nobody needs.

Anyway, thats it for today.

Easter is over. Back to life.

Peace.

What I actually did...yesterday...

Yesterday turned out to be pretty good.

I washed my hair like I said I would, then I met my friend Maria for lunch. We had Sushi and drank wine.

Then I hung out the Persian. He drank whiskey and coke and I drank some more wine. We went for a long walk in the forest...

Then we went to his place where he cooked rice and some Persian chicken sauce. It was quite good.

And now I am eating ice cream...

So even though I did not spend Easter with family, I had a great time after all...

By the way, I started meditating again and it feels really good.

Love to all. Hope you all had a good easter.

Today...

Woke up.

I should get breakfast.

Something good.

Drink a cup of coffee.

Take a walk.

Maybe take a shower first?

Wash my hair...

Yep...I should probably do that...

P.S: The Persian is probably coming over to hang out today. Something to look forward to. I have been a bit bored.