Love from Warri!

Dear friends, my people, sorry for not updating but ..... if una know as i dey suffer for here, chei! Right now I am at an internet cafe, finally found one that was open, there's been strike in Nigeria and everywhere has been closed. Na wah. Anyway, quick summary of my week. Let me start with the journey. Journey was uneventful, I was kind of hoping for something in frankfurt cos there is always wahala when boarding the plane but this time, nothing. Anyway, had to leave almost immediately for Warri cos I did not want to be stuck in lagos cos of the strike. Landed in warri! God, its good to be home, from the first day, i don laugh tire. Na so, as i land, i carry body go gate, i never even siddon, dem don start," sista, you don hear tory?", na so, I hear gist tire, all the things wey don happen, I say laugh wan kill me for here. Anyway, nothing much has changed, no light, but groove dey sha. Chei! All sorts of local groove, na wah. So, my dear people, if I do not update regularly, no be my fault, na condition make cray fish bend. I hope you are all okay, I ll try and read your blogs but I might not leave comments cos of these frustrating slow computers, lots of love my people, lots of love!

NAIJA BLOGGERS- THE BOOK!

Dear friends, please do not forget to send in your submissions, a lot of people have sent in great stuff but a lot of my favourite bloggers are missing, what's up, people? Come on, send in your stuff! June 15th is the last day, come on!


Submissions should be sent to nigerianbloggers@yahoo.com not later than Friday, June the 15th 2007 stating date of blogging and blogname/address.

Small mercies..........

I made a decision last week that I will not be buying my usual bus card, since I will soon be off to Naija. The consequences of this decision has been that I have been forced to ride my bicycle......everywhere. When I mean everywhere, I really mean it, to the mall, to the grocery store, to the city, everywhere. So far, it has been going well, except that one time I decided to cut across the woods cos I couldn't be bothered to go around the fucking forest. That was a very bad idea, first of all, there were no paths or trails, and it was scary as hell, I kept expecting to meet a few devil worshippers or something. Anyway, I decided to go swimming today, yep, first swim of the year, I love outdoor pools, something about the environment, kids, teenagers, sausages, ice-cream, sun cream, I just love it, I'll blog about that next time. Anyway, I rode there with my friend Maria, we had a great time, decided to head to her house for lunch. Her house was quite far and the journey quite gruelling, over and under tunnels, across parks, highways, woods, men, I thought it will never end. Just as we were getting to the end of our journey(10mins left), the bicycle track was downhill and split in two, I saw Maria in front, making a right, I was riding down, in full speed, for some unknown reason, Maria suddenly slowed down, look, I was in my own world, by the time I noticed her, I knew a collision was going to take place, there was nothing I could do.......I hit her bicycle right in the middle....everything was like slow motion......I saw myself flying across her.....my head first......right before my head hit the asphalt, I thought..... blood...ambulance......blood.......I am done for......my head hit the road hard......I heard the sound of my helmet...I felt my head bounce back up.......what the fuck? no blood? I am not dead? I slowly lifted my head up......looked at my hands, both palms were bleeding, skin hanging loose, my knees scraped, my shoulder bruised, I sat on the road....took off my helmet......touched my head......nothing......looked at helmet.....a big fucking dent. I was amazed, that helmet, the blue one that I hated so much. The funny thing is when I left home this morning, I left without it, I was already on my way when I suddenly decided to go back and fetch it. Ten minutes before that freak accident, my helmet was just on my head, I did not "tighten" it or anything, but I felt I should and I did, this happened a few minutes before the fall. I am grateful today, for small mercies, I am really grateful.

My park and its inhabitants

My park is a place where one could sit for ages and observe. You can tell that just that alone, keeps me going back day after day. I started jogging in march and since then, I have come to recognise the different regulars on the scene. First of all, I'd like to give a quick descrption of where it is located. My park divides three distinct neighbourhoods, an all white middle class, an arab neighbourhood and a mixed neighbourhood (all immigrants included here), and so the park makes for interesting studies of people. Here are the major players according to their ranks in the park.

1) The football boys: These boys are there every single day, no matter the weather, they will be playing football. At first, my presence was amusing to them and for the first couple of days I put up with jokes and laughter from that area, infact, two of them used to "imitate" me everytime I jogged past, which they found very amusing, I am sure. These days, they no longer notice me, I am now accepted. No jokes, no laughter, infact I think I have seen a couple of nods as a form of greeting.

2) The mothers and their kids in the play ground: This group of people I would say are the most unwelcoming in the park, they are suspicious of new commers and guide their children like hawks. They also fight occasionally over swings and slides, its not a pretty sight. I avoid them.

3) Arab women in groups: These people work in threes, fives, sometimes tens, and they do not walk behind each other, they walk side by side, the whole breadth of the track, talking and laughing away. They were very intimidated in the begining, speaking their language and laughing as I jogged past, these days, a couple of them now have gym shoes under their flowing gowns.

4)Arab men in groups: Same as above, the difference is they chain smoke and destroy my lungs and also, they are fond of checking out my ass. Generally encouraging, clapping of hands and shouts of "jalla jalla" as I run past them.

5)Somalian women and their husbands: They are often engrossed in something, don't know what, I am yet to figure this group of people out. I'll give an update if I find anything.

6)White women and their dogs: The same people everyday. Same time. Boring. Nothing here.

7)Old people on benches: My favourite people, they smile as I run past, very nice, sometimes I exchange a few words with them.

8)Young men on benches: Or should i just say the neighbourhood potheads? sitting and smoking and staring. Nothing interesting here.

9)Young women on benches: There to check out the guys, they basically just sit there and giggle or play with their mobile phones.

10)Children on bicycles: This group, I am not so fond of, they never look where they are going and often attempt to "race" me as I jog, they are accident prone, and I wish they would just leave me alone.

11)Dumbasses on scooters: The sign says "no scooters allowed", I wish they'd obey the law, I have been tempted to call the police a couple of times.


12)Fellow joggers: All skinny and looking fit, not friendly at all.

13)People under hedges or in shaded area of trees: I assume rough play and hanky panky going on.

Those, my friends, are the regulars in my park.