Back to writing...

I need to manage my time properly so I can do more writing. I need to be more disciplined. Before, I always had the time but never "felt like", then I always "felt like" but never had the time. Well, time to grow up. I spent the last days just sleeping, eating and watching tv. Yeah, I had some days off, which I really needed. I actually thought I would faint from exhaustion. I cried once at work cos I was frustrated that I was always tired. I really could not get my mind or body to move in any direction at all. I kept thinking I would somehow find energy that I did not have...so, I just did what I always do when I don't know what to do, "baff, eat and sleep". So thats what I did, I spent my days doing nothing and now I feel quite good. I think my major problem is organising my time so I can get everything I want done.

Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend,

Love,
waffy

The time was 5:45...

and it was still dark. I had to get to the train station and there were only two possibilities. Walk through the "short cut" or walk through the long way round. Both were equally depressing. I live on top of some sort of hill. When I got this apartment, I was desperate and the fact that it was a bit far from the city did not deter me. I was desperate. I mean, it was described as one of those new environmental friendly buildings...I could learn to sort my thrash, I thought. Sorting coloured bottles from white can be a bit tasking...but I could learn. On a hill? a small hill? Not so bad, the exercise will do me good. Near the woods? Thats okay too, perhaps nature will help in healing my broken heart.

Now it is 5:45 and it is dark, and my two options are depressing. The first one, my short cut...cut in the middle of a forest, it is a path which is meant for only pedestrians. In the summer, I enjoyed walking through it but now it is winter, and these days, I see all kinds of nollywood figures lurking about. The second option is not so bad, I basically have to walk down the road the bus uses...but is is dark and quite lonesome....and the sidewalk is right beside the forest, which means, I have to walk right in the middle of the road, which I often do.

My problem with this forest/woods business started after I saw one of those reconstructed real life criminal files or whatever they are called.

Basically, for 8 years, a rapist went crazy in a small town.He would not only brutally rape the women, but he would beat them up as well. He was just a nasty human being.

Now, here is the begining of the reconstruction I watched...

There is an empty road, a bit foggy...and then, all of a sudden, you see a fence, and a man jumping over it. Then he walks to the empty road and just stands there, right in the middle...then a car slowly drives up...he walks to it, opens the door and enters. Apparently, its his wife picking him up.


(Now, why is it that people in small towns, always have to pick up friends and acquaintances in obscure locations? Why can't they just pick them up in front of the town hall, or church, or local pub or whatever it is that they have there? But no, I am sure this is how the conversation goes when they need to pick up someone...

"Should I pick you up at Carl's?"

"Isn't that a long way off for you?"

"Yes it is"

"What if I walk across Larry's farm, then jump over the fence of that huge wasteland and then you pick me up on that closed road that we used to play when we were kids?"

"Oh yeah, I know it. Thats much better, I will meet you there then. Right beside the lake where Elizabeth almost drowned the summer we were in scout camp")

Then the car drives off...and he is in bed, images of what he has done just keeps flashing...a woman screaming for all she is worth, he drags her by the hair, from a path beside the woods...it is not even concealed, quite open, he keeps punching her in the face and when she is all bloody and messed up, he starts raping her...she screams and screams...

I just can't get that image out of my head, the sidewalk...the path...forest...middle of road...

And standing by the bus station is just as bad. I have never met anybody going to work at that time.

I don't even want to tell you how bad it is when I get home late at night. I now walk from side to side...like I have something between my legs. I pretend that I am a man.Ussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssscccccccccccch!

Not my fault...I am just cool like that...

Okay, so I buy a bag of onions, socks, mascara, underwear, vitamin c, painkillers, alcohol, face cream and 2 mangoes. Thats just me baby, I am cool like that. You just go ahead and do your own normal shopping, don't sweat it, we can't all be cool...hehehehehehehe

P Square, I swear, I don't mind...

Got this pic from Linda Ikeji's blog not enough for masturbation, but getting there...now if only D banj will let us see what's so good about that damn "koko" he is always going on about...

A waffy day...(winter time day, whatever)

Mmmmmmmmmm, what a restful night, so peaceful...drinking cocoa at night really helps...and this blanket feels so cozy today...Mmmmmmm. I am sure its just 6:00, imagine, I'll have at least 45 minutes of good cozy sleep...Mmmmmmm, but I'll just check the time, just in case....F U C K!!!!Its 8 o'clock! 8!!!! Oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh, shit, shit, shit....okay, okay, calm down...no need to panic, all can be fixed...can be fixed, can be fixed...okay, first, sit on toilet...pee, while peeing, ring boss...hope he can't hear pee in background...who cares? fuck fuck, fuck...

"Oh hello? Hi, yeah, this is waffy...yeah, I am gonna be late...yeah...very, very late..."

SHIT! an hour and 20 mins late! who does that? ME!no no, this is no fault of mine, that fucking mobile phone, what happened to the alarm? I don't remember putting it off...Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez...if I am lucky, I'll get the 8:29 train...if I am lucky...hail mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee....

Okay, breathe in, breathe out, no need to panic, no time for shower, put on clothes....oh, perfect! clothes from last night left in a pile by the door...I am too cool, super cool, everything right there on the floor, even socks...damn, i am good, okay, deodorant, spray, spray, hair brush, okay, jacket, keys, off you you go...

Now, marching song, 1, 2, 1, 2, no, no, 1, 2, is not working, better to do 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4...I remember when I was a soldier, I remember when I was a soldier, I remem....Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez, waffy....are you for real?

Ah, station in sight, time to break into a jog...just in case train is nearby...one never knows...but with my luck, I'll miss it just as I get there, better jog than be sorry...

1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1,2...

WHY ON EARTH IS THE CLOCK IN THE STATION JUST 7:25??? and mine says 8:25? what the hell is going on????

Something is wrong, something is very wrong...what is going on?????????????

I'll ask handsome man...

"Yeah, excuse me, I am a bit confused...is this clock one hour behind???ohhhhh wait....last night was not the night, they take the clock backwards is it? like winter time shit?"

"Indeed! it was last night...you did not change your clock?

"Of course not! who knows these things?"

Okay...at least I am not an hour and 20 mins late...just 20 mins late...but still...20 mins late....jeez...

I need some coffee, fuck it.

For more waffy days, see here, here and here

I wonder who she is...

The man kept screaming, kept at it. The whole train journey. He was screaming at an empty chair. Having an angry conversation with the empty seat. He was perhaps schizophrenic or perhaps he just had tourettes, I do not know, but it scared me. Scared me so much so, that I moved to another wagon. I sat beside a woman. She turned as I sat down, and smiled at me.

"He is talking to himself", I said. I don't know what I expected from her, for her to smile in amusement or fear...I really do not know, but I did not expect to hear what she said next.

"Imagine how tough he must have it" she replied, smiling at me. She was beautiful. Her smile was so serene and...quiet. A beautiful, serene, quiet smile."I wonder what he is saying"...that beautiful smile again...

"Life is not that easy" I said, feeling ashamed that I had not put myself in the poor man's shoes, and now looking down at my own shoes, feeling stupid...

She looked at me...in my eyes she could see what I wanted to say..."he has it so much tougher than I do"...thats what my eyes said...

She put one hand over mine,

"It is not easy for anybody" she said. She smiled again and as she got up to leave the train, I knew she would say good bye, I knew she would say something.

"Have a nice day" she said.

I don't know why she affected me so, a complete stranger. Her beauty, her smile, her empathy for an old man...

I wonder who she is...

Dicks as baits...

Well, there is no question in my mind when I say that the penis is a powerful thing. I have always believed that many women substitute sex in the bedroom for the idea of love. A man touches you here and there, kisses you, holds you, licks you, and in that moment, you are loved...you now believe, surely, this must be love, why else would he touch you the way he did? why else would he give it to you, this way, that way, and all other ways? Of course he loves, and you now think this kind of love will go on outside the bedroom too...WRONG!!! Men have the stone cold ability to differentiate SEX from LOVE. To them, sex is just sex. You are dreaming if you think his abilities in the bedroom will somehow go over into other areas of your life. Unfortunately, many women will never admit it. You meet them with the most arrogant ass out there, and they would firmly tell you that it is indeed love. You meet them with uncouth pigs, illiterates, good for nothing human beings, and they would say, it is love. You scratch your head in wonder...how can she be with him?

I'll tell you now, its PENIS!

Penis can be a bait. Men know it and they use it as such. Some will give it you, all the time...now you are hooked. You spend more and more time together...he is over all the time, you tell your friends you are in love. Others would give it to you, sparingly if I might add, but just enough for you to want more...so you think you "miss" him...Oh baby, I miss you...you don't miss him you fool! You miss how you feel when you have sex! You feel...LOVED. And that, dear ladies, is the bait. Penis has the ability to make you feel loved, when the reality is, its just PENIS! To put it in you, they have to do all that "touchy feely" stuff, so you would allow them grind away...Oh women!


Anyway, was happy to read a man's take on a subject which I think many women have to acknowledge...smell the dick...its just dick...

P.S: I forgot to add, all those church virgins rushing to marry after a brief "courtship", y'all know why y'all be rushing like the apocalypse was tomorrow, its not cos you are so in love, its cos you want the forbidden apple...SEX! You can't wait to get it in you...passions are on overdrive...God knows how long you both can keep fornication out...so marraige it is!