Friday, December 28, 2007

A cup of coffee

She turned the spoon, it was brown and white, she turned it again and it became white and brown, she starred absentmindedly at her coffee, it was now all brown. Her heart beat was slower now, her breaths were regular again. She dropped the spoon back into her coffee and willed herself to cry. She waited for the taste of salt on her lips but there was nothing. She brought out a mirror from her bag and looked at her eyes, as if looking at them would make the tears fall. Her eyes were clear, they starred back at her with firm resolution. Suddenly, she could feel the constriction in her heart again, she left her coffee untouched and lay down on her bed.

Her heart felt tighter....she felt like she was suffocating, she curled herself on the bed and waited...perhaps there were no tears left? she slowly got up and looked at herself in the mirror. The begining of a laugh was starting to form at the corners of her lips...slowly, she let it out, she laughed and laughed until she could laugh no more. She shook her head and thought of that call, that had changed it all, he had finally answered she had took her a second to realize that it was not his voice on the other end of the was "her" voice... whoever she was.
The journey is too far
your mind too weary
yet you choose to travel alone
in mists and fogs
you tread alone
alone in your journey, alone in your fears
God bless you dear friend,
my thoughts are with you.

The watter bottle

"I can't find the fucking bottle!" screamed Jonathan

Maria looked up from the couch where she was lying, "have you checked your gym bag"?

"It is not there, I tell you! I can never find anything in this bloody house. Just look at the kitchen, it’s a mess. Must I do everything in this house?"

Maria sighed and turned up the volume of the TV

"I mean, why can't you clean this place up? Instead of watching TV?"

"I am tired, Jonathan"

"You are always tired! You are so lazy! Where the fuck is my water bottle? And why don't you help me find it? That’s what I don't understand, instead of helping out, you just pretend like you don't understand what is happening"

Maria got up, she put on her slippers and slowly walked around, it was obvious she was not looking for anything; her eyes were still fixed on the TV screen.

"Why don't you buy another one when you get there?"

"That’s what I don't understand with you! Why should I buy another one when I have one already? Women! All you know how to do is waste money...if only I can find that water bottle..."

"Better to waste money that have a heart attack, have you checked the bag?"

"How many times will I tell you? It is not there!"

Maria waited until Jonathan went upstairs, she opened the bag, and there, beneath his gym clothes was the water bottle.

"I have found it!"


"In your gym bag of course, where else?, you must have put it in and forgot, you are beginning to show symptoms of Alzheimer’s ... you should go and check yourself"

"Its because I never get any help in this bloody house, I have to do everything myself!"

Jonathan took his bag and walked out of the house, banging the door as he left.

Maria lay down on the couch, and the phone rang. She let it ring for a couple of minutes before she picked it up

"I am sorry"

"You are a difficult man"

"I did not mean all those things I said, I am just tired and stressed"

"You are difficult"

"I am sorry"

"You will never change. I am going off to bed now; don't forget to put on the alarm when you come in, Good night"

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas Folks!

Hope you all have lots of fun! As for me,thats all I'll be doing. Cheers!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Cold cold, heart

"I love you" she said. He could not look at her; he turned his back and pretended he was asleep. He knew she was awake, he could tell from her breathing, he was so used to it now, the way she breathed, it had its own rhythm, like everything else in his life. He waited until she was fast sleep and crawled out from underneath the sheets, his feet touched the cold floor and the unexpected sharpness of the cold made him take a deep breath, he could not sleep beside her, not like this. He opened the door of the balcony and tried to think...back to the days when saying "I love you" had been so easy, the days when he had thought that he knew what love is, the days he had been convinced he loved...

He had been young then, life was full of promises and then he had met her...Pamela. Life with had been...glorious. That was the only word he could use to describe it, glorious. Breakfasts in bed, sex in the middle of the day, late night outings, vacations to the most amazing places, dinners and shopping sprees. It had been glorious. He did not remember when he first started hating going home. He could not remember when her perfect teeth began to look like fangs, he did not remember when that oval face he loved to kiss became shapeless and her hair that he once lovingly put his fingers through became barbed wire, tearing at the skin of his fingers...he could not remember when she became ugly. He had come home one day, and instead of Pamela, stood this person, an imitation of Pamela. His days and nights became hell but he tried, to live with her...the imitation of Pamela, until that night when he came home and the barbed wire had turned to snakes....then he knew he had to let her go.

"Why won't you let me love you?" Sandra stood at the door of the balcony, asking him with those intense eyes of hers...
"Go back to bed Sandra, I'll be in a minute, it’s a bit nippy out here"
He did not answer the question, he had no answer.
"John, why won't you let me love you?"
Again, he was silent.

He stood out on the balcony and watched her put her bag in her car, he watched her get in and watched her drive off.

Say something

I am kneeling here. The room is here and yet, I do not feel its presence, it is not my space, my space is somewhere else, uninhibited by walls and doors. They scare me, walls and doors. I love the openess of the sea but life can never be like that, can it? Open, beyond what the eye can see? And that is why I am kneeling here. I hear nothing, my world is closed all around me, the only sign of my existence are the hunger pangs gnarling away at my intestines, I don’t want it to be over, this experience but soon enough, I will have to face the world again, a place where red eyes go about with hunger in them, and those arms of people, reaching forth to caress you, reaching forth to drown you, reaching forth to do something, it is now or never, face the world or you go under, say something, do something, smile, laugh, have a glint in your eye...

“Do you know why you are being punished again?”

If you would only tell me, I will be forever grateful, pray, tell me why? Because I know for sure something you all don’t know...

“No senior”

“Do you realize you are the only one left here, again?”

I realize, dear young adult, but I also realize that I know something that you don’t...

“Yes senior”

“Why can you not, like all the other juniors say “forgive me?” why can’t you?”

Because I know something you don’t, that my world is bigger than those two words and bigger than you...

“I don’t know why senior”

“You don’t know why? Do you admit you have done something wrong?”

Something wrong, something right, who is the judge? My world is bigger than right and wrong, bigger than this space, this time...

“Once again, you will stay here, while others are sleeping, you will kneel down all night since you cannot say “forgive me”

All through the night...reminds me of a song, all night long, all night long....

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Can anybody be this drunk????

The night was the usual for them, metallica, acdc, greenday, I fell asleep at 9, woke up at 12 and continued the drinking spree. I do not know what I mixed, smirnoff vodka, apple something, with sprite and lemon i think, and a couple of glasses of wine, and more vodka, and water, ice....and more vodka...the apple something...I am finished. It is over...where is Patrice? he usually has something to say about my liver...hello?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Second chances....

Thinking about all those paths I have taken, looking for...something...searching for...I am not sure of what. The years when right and wrong were so obvious yet I chose wrong, the years where choices were simple, yet I chose difficult. My a huge work of collage, places, faces, in every single space, like a canvass, I remember eyes and mouths, words spoken, words left unspoken. It has been a journey, growing up, experiences that were rich, sometimes too poor, bland, flat, not really there. It has been a journey, trying to know what to do, trying...thats all I ever did, I tried. Those chances...when I could have said yes, I said no, when I should have said no, I said yes, yet it has made me who I am, those little tears, those little has made me this person, ever asking, looking for answers..but this time, I will be brave enough, brave enough to take my chance, brave enough to right wrongs, brave enough to do right by me. My word is good, this is my chance, this is my life, and I will do right by me.

Teenage years...I rock am die!!!

Which song I no learn? which dance step I no try to learn? plus all those adventures for boarding house...abeg, here's to my happy memories jare!

Friday, December 14, 2007

A new day....

I was going to be serious and write a very philosophical post about "second chances" but I am in a very good mood today, I really can not be serious. Anyway, so I was just thinking that today is a new day, forget about whatever happened yesterday, the day before yesterday, last week, last month....whatever...let it go. As we dey talk for warri "na different day be dis", so, have a nice day, let the day be what it is meant to be, don't spoil it with left-over memories from yesterday. Make una enjoy jare, me, I dey go drink my coffee...

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ibori update.

They have finally arrested him. Read all about it, here. Oh, please read this as well, this cracked me up so bad....

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Join Nigerian Lighthouse in celebrating Anti-Corruption Day on December 9th and 10th.

Dear friends:

December 9th is UN International Anti-Corruption Day and Nigerian Lighthouse seeks to commemorate this day with a small but pertinent project.

The goal is to get as many people to write a 50 word (or less) message on how to eradicate corruption in Nigeria. All submitted messages will be posted at the website - Most Nigerians have an opinion on how to stop corruption. Here is a chance to share that idea with the world! So, simply write a message of 50 (or less) words and send it to Then send another message to your friends encouraging them to participate as well. This will only take 5 minutes of your time and the rewards - sharing ideas that will definitely improve Nigeria - is more than worth it.

Hope to hear from you all!

A quarter past twelve

It was a cold night, Clara walked swiftly, there was nobody on the street and the bus stop seemed too lonely to stand alone. She looked at her watch, it was a quarter past 12, she called twice and quickly hung up, she wasn't sure she should call. She called a third time and this time he picked, before she could drop.


She could hear his voice, it was there, faint beneath all the other sounds, music, laughter, clicking of glasses. She dropped the phone. She stood alone at the bus stop and imagined he had picked and said

"Hi love! so lovely you called, I was just thinking about you!"

But he had not said that, he had been too busy to think about her...she looked across the road, a shop was opened, she walked across the road as fast as she could, for some reason she felt a need for urgency, perhaps it was the cold air. She bought a pack of cigarettes and lit one, her lungs sucked in the poison hungrily as her thoughts floated away again. She remembered his face as vividly as if he was standing before her, his gentle eyes, his chin...that had left her own chin bruised that night as he kissed her...she could see him now...the way he walked... She looked at the phone again, she wanted to ask him if he remembered when he had bruised her chin. The bus came and went and she was still standing there, thinking of him. She did not see it when it happened, she did not know, she had been lost in her own world, but she could hear them talking...

"Its bad, really bad"
"Poor girl and she is so pretty too!"

"Stabbed like that, probably for her phone"
"I wonder what this world is coming to"

She tried to tell them that she could hear them, she could hear them very clearly, they looked like angels, all dressed in white.

"Did she have anything on her? we should call somebody"
"I found a picture, in her wallet, but nothing else, I wonder who it is"

She wanted to tell them that it was him, the man that made her happy, the one that brought a smile back to her face but she could not, their voices were drowning out and she felt like she was floating, she closed her eyes...time to sleep.

"Poor child"
"This world is a terrible place"

The boy ran all the way home. He had not meant to stab her but he had. He just wanted her phone, he had asked her twice to give it to him, why didn't she? why didn't she? when he got close to her, she had turned around so fast, it was only then that he had realized that she had not heard him. Her fast movement shocked him...the knife was in front of him...he had not meant to stab her.

"Danny, are you home?"
"Yes mum"
"Don't let your father hear you were out again, when you are 18 you can do what you want,until then, you know the rules in this house"
"Yes mum"

He put the phone under the pillow at first, he could not bear to look at it. A strange sound was coming from the phone...he slowly looked at it, there was a message....

"Sorry dear, I am out with a couple of friends drinking, it is very noisy, I'll call you later. Miss you"

Friday, December 7, 2007

Last week

Well, so many things happened last week but was too lazy to write about it. I am up early...again! What is happening to my system? I wake up like clock work at the exact same time every morning, normally I need an alarm to even make me lift a finger... anyway, stuff happened and here they are:

The birthday party: When I was in Nigeria, I found out an old childhood friend who I have not seen in more than 15 years now, lives here. We got in touch and it has been fun gisting with him occasionally, yes... occasionally. The man has an obsession and its called : WOMAN. In his head, he is convinced that his whole life will be perfect once he finds that "woman", that's how he talks, "if say i get woman, everything for just settle" , "ah! see as my walls dey jump for joy cos woman enter my house today" "the Bible says to find a woman is to find a good thing" "Imagine if I had a woman, I would be so happy", etc, etc. Most of the times, I listen and then by the time he says the word "woman" for the up tenth time, I am ready to explode! He knows I find the whole topic very irritating and I think this just gets him going anyway.

So, it was his birthday party, he asked if I could help him with some dishes, it was my pleasure, I was bored anyway. I had asked him earlier in the week about how many guests he was expecting, he said 15. 15? I have lived in this country for 5 years and if I had to invite 15 people, it will probably have to include people I see in the gym plus the Arab guy that does my hair. 15 people indeed! I thought perhaps it was his church people, he is an ardent church goer, but no, he tells me he has invited the other students on his corridor(He is a student and lives in one of those student buildings). I asked him if he actually knew them, he said no, but he just thought they would be happy to come as per free booze and food. I did not want to spoil his optimism but I had my doubts. In this country? It would never happen! I lived in the same building for five years and the only time I spoke to my neighbours was when I was moving out! 15 people indeed!

Anyway, we made food for 15 people,rice, chicken, salad, different pies, etc. He bought about two cartons of beer and I arrived with two bottles of wine, just in case. An hour later, and we are the only two.... I had already started drinking and we had eaten enough jollof rice. Finally an Egyptian student came down... he had been here for three months and hated it. He was so happy to be with us, in fact, we were all "Africans" that night! Apparently his big memory of Nigeria was when Nigeria won the world cup or something in Egypt(I am sure the guys here will know), he was just a kid then and used to sit at the Nigerian side cos they were colourful and there was music etc. In fact, he had ended up in one of the newspapers, all painted with Naija green white green. He was a very nice guy, not used to hard life, when I shook his hands, I was so ashamed of mine, his hands were so so soft. Anyway, so he tells us of how miserable he was, first time away from home, (he is 27 heheheeh) how he was having problems fitting in. I told him it was the place, it was new, he'll soon adjust and get over it. He told me a splendid proverb (I am sure we all know different versions of this in different languages), he said "If you are on the way to paradise and the company of people with you is horrible, you will be miserable even if you know paradise is waiting for you. If on the other hand, you are on the way to hell, and the company of people with you is great, you will enjoy the journey even if you know your destination is hell". According to him, the reason why he was so miserable had nothing to do with the place but the people residing in it.

Thankfully, another of his friends arrived, one naija guy and his wife.They both were not drinking cos he was driving and I think she was breast feeding, the Egyptian guy was not drinking and my friend insisted on drinking his beer. I ended up drinking two bottles of wine, convinced them to play naija music "Ohhhh Christianaaaaaa", and got totally wasted. The good part of the party was everybody got enough food to last them that week. At about 1 or so, the party was over, my friend went to the city to find "woman", the couple left with many thanks for the extra food, the Egyptian guy left happy with phone numbers and I stumbled home drunk and full.

The bazaar: I went to the city for breakfast the next day. I was bored, it was Sunday and there was nothing to do. After roaming the streets with no particular destination, I ended up on the street where the Catholic church is situated. This is a protestant country, so the Catholic church is normally for the immigrants/foreigners, whatever. Anyway, so I get there, and they are having a bazaar. I think church and weddings is the only place where you see different generations together. Old people, young couples, kids every where. I had nothing to do, so I took up a perfect observation post by the food stalls....

The Spanish stall: The rice looked good, but after the jollof rice of the day before.... mba

The Albanian stall: Some sort of bread... the man manning the store was old and looked the bread.

The Croatian stall: The usual assortment of sweet stuff... at first nobody was buying anything from them, this worried me cos I know the Croatians are fierce loyalists...where were their people? Ah! but I did not have to wait for long, they were apparently having their own service about the time I arrived... anyway, after the service, they cleared up that stall like a wave of ants. I tell you! They ignored all the other stalls and just bought everything their own stall had on display. They never disappoint.

The Indian stall: Bought a plate of rice and chicken. I regretted it.

The Korean "mission" stall: The liveliest of them all! They persuaded me into buying packets of noodles and some strange Korean sweets. I also got a plate of free sushi, but with meat instead of fish, does that make it sushi?

I ate at a table with an Italian father and son. He was so loving but firm, the father I mean... anyway, all in all, it was a good day.

Friendship:Through out my adult life, I can almost pin point the exact moment a friendship began. Yeah, I am one of those people, I could tell you with accuracy how many friendships in my adult life started. Take Catherine for example, I remember that day in class more than 5 years a go when she was taking part in a heated debate about immigration. She was the only person of a particular view in class, and the whole class was slicing her up like raw meat at a butchers shop....they seemed to be enjoying it too much so I decided to tip the scale a bit. Together, we managed to totally shred them to bits, much to the amusement of the teacher who seemed to understand what was going on. I met up with her after the class....

"Hey, you know, I did not believe in any of your arguments, I just joined in cos it was unfair....the whole class against you"

"Ha! I did not believe in my arguments either, I just wanted them to look at things from another angle, how can a whole class have only one point of view?

I always knew she was destined for politics...not me...too much of a dreamer to be a realist. I hardly see her these days, she is often caught up championing one cause or another, but she has been there when it mattered, and for that, I am always grateful. Yes, but why am I digressing from the story at hand? I was going to talk about the beginning of a friendship.....

He was waiting for me when I arrived, we often nod to each other, he had introduced himself one day to me, someone had told him we were "in the same profession". Since then, we had not spoken and I had since forgotten his name.

"Hi, I was looking for you, you've not been around"
"Oh, I have been very ill"

"I was wondering.... so how are you?
"I am fine now, thanks"

"You okay?"
"Yeah... just the usual"

He is looking intensely at me now....

"So how's general?"

We both laugh...

"I feel this thing...hanging over my head... I have..."

"Yeah, thats probably the word...I have so many unfinished stuff, I just wish I could do everything I want...I don't know"
"You know, don't worry about it too much, you "ll be okay"

"Yeah, so what about you? how's life?"
"Well, this is life"

"What do you mean?"
"This is my life, pathetic huh? I am 35 years old, and this is all I have"

"Wife? girlfriend? hobbies?"
"Nothing. I have nothing. This is all I you see, don't worry, its the same for everybody"

"I am not a "misery loves company" kind of person, I'll just feel bad for myself and then worse for you"
"I did not think you were that kind... Just don't beat yourself up about will be okay, you'll be fine.

I turned to go, I was already feeling better....

"Hey, about hobbies....I could probably hook you up, I am a good hobby finder...what's your name?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Tell it like it is.....

Have always loved this... enjoy....

All sorts....

Brief history: When I was in Warri last summer, I was invited to one of those comedy shows, and these guys performed. Okay, so the highlight of the whole show, was their mum, (dressed in serious traditional wear) who kept on running back and forth taking their pictures, clapping, hailing etc. The whole crowd kept cheering her on... hehehehe, anyway, when their number ended, the comedian who came on after them said: "abeg, make una clap for the mama, she born talent!"

Monday, December 3, 2007

Up early...

Anytime I am up this early, "common entrance exams" memories suddenly attacks my brain. That is how traumatic it was, getting up early...I don't even want to remember...too tired, I'll write about that another day. I had a good Sunday, very eventful, managed to get myself to church, and lo and behold, they were having a bazaar! The last time I was at a church bazaar, I was 8 years and old and my brother was the "chairman" which meant my father went broke trying to "top" all the donations...ah, those newspaper/petrol/high life/catholic church/pepper soup father... well well, I will write another post when my brain finally decides to wake up, until then, happy week!

N.b: My wish for you all this week is to find lots of love and happiness in your family, family is beautiful... respect yours and respect the families of others as well. Take care people!

But this is what I am listening to now....

I have listened to this so many times this week......

Instead of this crap,

This must be the most irritating song I have ever heard....

Nigerians should be listening to this!

Real deal.....

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Red October.....

I promised a friend of mine that I would take pictures of autumn, unfortunately, as in all things I do, I left it to the last minute. Thus, the brilliant idea came up to do it all in one day, so I took my camera, my bicycle they are. My battery died, the weather turned shitty and although I kept thinking I would take more pictures, time did not wait and before long, there were no more leaves or colours. So for my friend, next year I will do better!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My sweety, my sugar.....

By the way, anybody remember the name of this artist?

Friday, November 23, 2007

Happy weekend

It will be a cool weekend with Bob and wine......


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Ogbunike (3)

Nneka heard the drumming before she reached her hut.Ogbunike was home, her heart melted as it always did when she thought of him. Ogbunike, her only son, her only love, her life. After her husband had died, she thought she would never find peace in her heart again, but Ogbunike had filled her heart, with his rhythms.She knew he was sad before she saw him, he was like her husband, their moods could be felt just by listening to their drums. Today, he was beating the obanfe rhythm, she had not heard it in a long time, her son was sad.

"My son, I met Ogechi today, Ikemefuna's mother at the market. She told me of your kindness, allowing Ikemefuna to join the rehearsals"

Ogbunike looked up at his mother, he had not heard her come in. She looked tired and old, he still remembered when she used to take him to the stream, to wash clothes and swim. That was before he became a man and had to wash himself at the other end of the stream with other men. How he missed those days! She used to sing a lot then and how he loved to play in the water while she washed the clothes and sang. His father told him that when she was younger, he and the other men used to sit at the other end of the stream listening to her voice. He quickly put his drum away to help his mother with the basket of yams she had on her head.

"yes, Onyinye thinks he will be better for the Nkombi dance"

"Nobody is better than you, my son"

She looked at her son, he was a man, a man in love. She knew he was in love with Onyinye, daughter of Chioma and Okafor. She had been waiting for the day when he would finally tell this to her, but days were becoming years and still Ogbunike had not said anything. She was worried, Onyinye was now a woman, her friends were getting spoken for, and Nneka was afraid Ogbunike might lose his chance if he waited any longer. This Nkombi dance was probably his last chance.

"I was surprised my son. You have always played the drums for the Nkombi dance....why Ikemefuna?"

"I told you. The girls think he will be better for them. Mama, I do not want to be the reason why Ifeoma and Ugonna are not spoken for again this year."

"Does the blackness of the night blame its colour on the sound of the crickets?"

"Mama, I do not understand"

"These days, you young ones have forgotton the tongues of the wise ones, I told your father, that it will be so with you. Proverbs are rich my son, try to understand them"

"But I do not understand mama, the colour of blackness....the sound of crickets.... what has that got to do with Ugonna and Ifeoma and the Nkombi dance?"

" Ifeoma and Ugonna have not been spoken for because they are ugly. Everybody in the village knows that. The rhythm of your hands, the Nkombi dance, the new yam festival, nothing can save them....except maybe Ogidikpo!"

Ogbunike laughed. His mother had a way of making everything seem so light and easy. Ogidikpo..... the humped bank palm wine tapper with the missing front tooth. He looked at his mother affectionately, he dreaded the day he would have to tell her had had fallen in love, he did not want to leave her yet.

"Come mama, let me help you with dinner, I already cooked the yams, let me pound it, and warm the left over soup from breakfast"

" A man does not pound yam, do not let your mates hear you"

" Don't worry mama, there is nobody here, here is water, it is cold, rest, the food will soon be ready"

Nneka looked at her son as he brought out the mortar and pestle. She was worried, she had to prepare him for the role of a husband. It was times like this that she missed her husband.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A quoi ca sert l'amour (To what end does love serve?)

One of my favourite songs from Edith Piaf and this cartoon is soooooo cute!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Ogbunike, contd

Kpam Kpam kpam kpam kpam

The sound of the drum was coming from the market square. The sounds were familiar yet Ogbunike knew everything was wrong. The rhythm did not follow the akpati rhythm. The one taught from generation to generation as Ogbunike knew it. The one taught to his father by his grandfather. The drum was definitely the Ogidi, but who dared to play the Ogidi without the akpati rhythm?
In the village square was a scene that made the muscles of Ogbunike tighten at the nape of his neck. It was not the sight of Ikemefuna beating recklessly away at the Ogidi that did it but the sight of the person in the middle, dancing with careless abandonment.....Onyinye. The drums slowly calmed down and Ogbunike’s presence was soon rain after a hot day.

“Ogbunike, come brother, here is the Ogidi, humor us with the rhythm of your hands”

“Ah! Ikemefuna, I’m afraid it is too late for the Ogidi”

“Are you an old man now?”

This drew laughter from the crowd and it seemed to Ogbunike that Onyinye laughed louder and longer than everybody else.

“Old....we shall all reach that stage when our hands tremble at the simplest of okanka rythms. No, old I am not, but the ogidi is better played under the shadows of daylight”

Silence descended on the crowd, the words of Ogbunike had struck deep, it was a well known fact that the ogidi was only brought out during the day. That they had chosen to ignore that fact made them bow their heads with shame.

“Well perhaps it is time that the sound of the Ogidi is recognized under moonlight” and with that, Ikemefuna began his strange thumping, and the crowd went back to their dancing. Ogbunike went on his way but it was not long before his ears caught the sound of running feet behind him

“Ogbunike! Ogbunike!”, it was Onyinye, who seemed to be out of breath from trying to catch up with Ogbunike, whose feet was on their own rhythm this night, getting as far away from strange thumping of Ikemefuna's hands.

“Ogbunike! Will you not escort me home? What will your mother say, leaving your neighbor on a night like this?”

“I am sorry. I was not aware you would be going home so early. The night is still young”

“Yes, the night is young, but I thought perhaps, this would be a good time to continue the discussion we had some days ago”

“Ah the new yam festival! The dance rehearsals will start in two market days”

“Ehhhhhh, you see, Ogbunike, we were thinking……”

“You mean Ugonna and Ifeoma....”

“Yes, my peer mates, we were thinking that we’d like the Nkombi dance to be played by Ikemefuna....”

She looked down as she spoke


“Yes, Ikemefuna. His rhythm is different. Perhaps we can beat the village of Okete this year”

“Ikemefuna is not in the group. The rehearsals have already been planned”

“Yes, that is why I wanted to talk to you, you are the leader, you can put Ikemefuna in, and besides, you hate the Nkombi dance, you lament every year and every year, we have to fight you to include it. This year, you will not have to grit your teeth”.

“I do not grit my teeth”

“Yes you do, every time we practice the Nkombi dance”

“Perhaps it’s because the Nkombi dance is a stupid dance. A competition for you girls to become spiteful to each other”.

“Ogbunike, the Nkombi dance is for me and my peer mates, perhaps to you it is spiteful but don’t forget many girls are married every year because of the Nkombi”

“That is why it is stupid, choosing a wife because of the way her buttocks move... And you say I am old”

“I never said you were old, afterall,you are only five years ahead of me. I have known you since childhood, you taught me to break kennels....”

Her voice had softened and he could hear her heart beat in the stillness of the night.

“Onyinye, if you really want Ikemefuna to play the Nkombi, this year, then…, It is okay.....he can join us for rehearsals”

“Really ? Oh thank you Ogbunike! The girls were so sure you would say no, but I told them Ogbunike has a heart of gold! Just like your mother! Oh, I have to go and tell the girls, they will be so excited”

And with that, Onyinye started back towards the market square.

“But who will escort you home?” shouted Ogbunike at her retreating figure,

“Don’t worry, Ikemefuna will!” came the resounding reply.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Fever, hallucinations, Ogbunike, etc

Sorry oh my friends, na wah. Catwalq, Ogbunike will be up soon, composed with high fever and a state of lucidity. Yes Waffy has been down and out for almost a week now. Two nights ago, I was sweating and hearing Ogbunike pounding away on his drums. I could see him and the rest of my characters take shape in my head. I saw the whole story unfold before me, but alas, my head or hands could not do the task.... write. I could not write what I saw, the scenes swept past me and my feverish state would not allow my fingers to move. Woke up this morning, my head was clear, but the scenes, the characters, Ogbunike..... all washed away with my sweat and dreams. I am doing better,the fever is gone and in place of it, I am left with a bad cough and a dripping nose. Will be back soon with what is left of Ogbunike.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Tired Of Being Sorry

I don't normally like Enrique, but I am feeling this melody......die.......

When Death calls...

Ben sat in his living room, doing what he did every Wednesday night, erasing most of what he had written the night before. His eyes wandered over to the clock by the kitchen sink, the clock starred back obstinately ticking was four o'clock and a sharp ring echoed through the bare apartment. At first, he thought it was the clock, but then he knew it was the phone.... he slowly walked over to the phone, took a deep breath and picked it up.

Ben: Hello?
Voice: She is dead

Ben: Who?
Voice: You know who

Ben:She is dead.....
Voice: Yes

Voice:You have nothing to say...
Ben: No, there is nothing to say about death

Voice:She died at exactly 3'o'clock
Ben: How?

Voice:Nobody knows, she was alone
Ben: One less human being the world. Is that all you have to say?
Ben: About what?

Voice: About her death...
Ben: Who can say anything about death?

Voice:Plenty people....Preachers, philosophers, teachers....plenty people....
Ben:I have nothing to say

Voice: She left a letter for you
Ben: Death can not speak

Voice: I read it
Ben: Death can not speak

Voice: She says she loves you
Ben: Like many others have....

Voice: She says she is sorry
Ben: Like many others are...

Voice: She says good bye
Ben: Don't they all?

Voice: She wants you to take that trip...she says you know the one...
Ben: Death can not speak, she is dead

Voice: She gave everything away...except her typewriter....she wants you to have it.
Ben: She is dead....

Voice: Yes she is. Goodbye Ben, I will send the typewriter by post. Take care of yourself, I suppose you won't be at the funeral?
Ben: No, Good bye.

As Ben hung up the phone, he slowly lay down on the cold floor and closed his eyes..... an inhumane shriek echoed through his brain. It was a while before he realized the sound was coming from him,the darkness and wildness of the shriek scared him, it was nothing he had ever heard before but.... it was coming from him.

He slowly stood up and walked over to the calender, the only other thing that hung on his walls apart from the picture...the picture of Abbey. He crossed out a date, and underneath it, wrote "Abbey is dead". He took the picture of Abbey and placed it on top of the clothes in his open suitcase. He slowly picked up the phone and made the call he had been dreading for the last two years....

"Good afternoon, I need to know when I can get on the next possible flight to Havana, Cuba"

Thursday, November 1, 2007

This got to me.....I'll tell you why

I read this article in the guardian today, and it made me sad. The way people always see things with their "monetary" eyes, baffles me. Every single thing in that country has to be reduced to "money". It is no wonder that people do not bother with the arts anymore. When creativity is reduced to that,then you understand that we suck, big time. I have no idea how the national flag was created, I never knew who created it, and would never have known, were it not for this article. Just the fact, that I do not know and never bothered is a shame. So I went through 6 years of primary school and nobody thought to include it in any of our social studies books? Now, I think who ever came up with that flag, no matter its simplistic or drab nature should at least be written about. Money? I do not know, but as the writer remarked, if we can spend so much money honoring footballers with names of streets in our capital city, then, please!. Well, I did not really care much about the flag maker but the article is a good one. Read it if you have the time.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Ogbunike and other stories ....

"Ogbunike you are a useless man oh! haba! see the way you just dipped your hands into the palm oil like that!"
"Ah ah! Papa Pius, you know yam and palm and oil is one of my favourite dishes! especially when prepared by your wife Carol"

"Ogbunike, I will tell you again, you a useless man! the next time you dip your hands into my palm oil, you will see the way, have you heard?"
"Heard what pappa Pius?"

"The Iroko tree has fallen"
"Ahhhhhhhhhh, you mean...."

"Yes, I mean it, cut at the stump, it fell sideways...heavy, like a pregnant woman"
"The iroko tree.....has finally fallen"

"Ogbunike, a word of caution... beware of where you dip your fingers...things are happening in this village....beware"
"Pappa Pius, I have heard. Your words are always sound. I shall be cautious....but we all know who the best drummer is in Ogbatofia"

"Yes, Ogbunike, we know, but I have heard that Ikemefuna and his people, especially Mazi Edoh, they have been to our king, word is, this year, the stump of the Iroko tree is to be shared!
"Abomination! the stump of the Iroko tree has always belonged to my people! the ancient drummers of Ogbatofia! abomination! the king will not do it....he can not".

"That is for our King to decide, but sit my friend, let me send for more palm oil, this is new yam, just harvested yesterday by Carol, let us eat, the heat of the yam, calls now"
"Thank you Pappa Pius let us eat"

To be continued.

How I am feeling today



The useless woman don resign, na so she just dey cry anyhow, I no even understand why she just dey misbehave like that, anyway, the highlight of the whole occasion na

"Then, some female members of the chamber, led by Hadija Bukar Ibrahim from Yobe State, knelt down before Etteh for about five minutes, pleading with her to thrown in the towel".

I no know wetin dey do naija people, all this kain serious embarrassment! anyway, make una enjoy the report here.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

06:05 and high life

I am up. Listening to high life and drinking a cup of coffee. Try it. Quite refreshing. Once again, what will my life be without music? Ahhhhhh Oliver de Coque...... make i go "baff"!

P.S: I think I will be eating egusi today....there's just something about highlife....I wonder where I can get "cowleg" in this city?

Can't get enough of Ibori

If you, like me, can't get enough of Jamie boy, pls go here and here.

Monday, October 29, 2007

"You are really looking good waffy!"
Yeah, yeah, and so what? I went through a great deal of fucking stress to make it it to your party....
"Oh Thank you so much",
Let us see, a glass of champagne, whatever, anything to drink, help get through this....
"Oh the flowers are so beautiful! wow! what a mighty bouquet",
Ah! no need to heap too much praises, all you have to do is take the time and effort and fucking go to the ghetto, you'll get a mighty one, those Arabs, they know their stuff.....
"Glad you like it!"
Hmmmmm, good, I don't have to do anything, I'll just sit and make small talk..... how absurd... today, I really have nothing to say, no idle conversation, no observations, nothing, I am dry. The house is looking very nice... whatever...I really have nothing to thoughts are on other things....I want to go home....I have nothing to say....
"waffy, your hair really suits you, brings out your eyes"
"Thank you, can't wait for it to grow again"
Normally, I would have told them the story of my hair turning to "dada", but I really do not feel like it today, I am dry. Time to eat, thank God, I was turning into a fossil in the corner, I will eat fast, so I can leave, here is your present, happy you like it, bought it with my heart, yes.... but I need to go, this place, I need to go. Thank you for everything, the food was delicious. Good bye everybody, I will not bother hugging you all, I need to go, it is cold, dark. I can only walk as fast as I can. I am not happy, it is dark, I need to get home. I am not happy.

An unwelcome distraction....

Dear friend,

Your life must be so busy, with so many moments in the day. I can only imagine how distracting my texts and e mails have been to you. I can only imagine the time wasted answering my mails and texts. Time you could have spent doing something more important than answering me. I can only imagine how my texts have irritated you, coming at odd times, when you are busy living your very interesting life. I wonder how many calls you have diverted and how many texts have gone unanswered because of your so busy life. One thing is for sure, I am an unwelcome distraction in your life. I will distract you no more, so you can live your life without the annoying plings of incoming texts and emails.

Yours sincerely

P.S: It is only because I am not sure if you smile or sigh when you get my texts/emails. It is a burden on my mind, I'd so hate for it to be a sigh!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Radio is trying to kill me

Okay, I am on the way to the balcony...but wait....there's a bottle of vodka...its 12:11, is it too early to start drinking?

I hope all those involved die a horrible death, whilst choking on their own vormit!

"There and then she was stripped naked and her pubic hairs forcefully shaved and forced down her throat. She said that the psychopaths made jest of her and poured dry gin into her private part. When she attempted to shout, they were infuriated and decided to poke her private part with sticks and broken bottle while laughing her to scorn"

A young girl, relative of an AC member was gang raped and tortured by PDP thugs and the criminals are still free? while the girl is still in hospital, traumatised and scarred for life? for what? politics? I am too angry and upset to write. What the hell is this? Abeg, read the shocking story, here

NOTE: Can't for the love of God, find the article on the guardian website. It was writted under "editorial" and was published 25/10/07. I think the title was "rape of a school girl in Ilesa" or something similar!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Just read this on the guardian website, and I almost fell off my chair with laughter. Oh Lord! Please save us, this is too much. Abeg, read the whole tory here but na the part underneath na im sweet me pass! I am dying ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

"The former governor may be facing trial over illegal acquisition of assets in a London court, his kinsmen back home in Oghara have vowed to defend the honour of the beleaguered former governor.

Rising from a meeting in Asaba yesterday, they condemned what they described as a calculated attempt to tarnish Ibori's eight years administration in the state, emphasising their "readiness to ensure that those glorious years are not in vain."

Present at the meeting were the Delta State Commissioner of Special Duties, Mr. Champion Kpateghe; the Iyasere of Oghara, Chief Champion Oboh-Uzzi; High Chief William Ibori and a host of others.

Kpateghe said that no matter the travail Ibori may be facing today, there is no denying the fact that he remains a great force to be reckoned with in Nigerian politics, alleging that the whole affair smacked of the machination of some people who are not comfortable with the rising profile of the erstwhile Delta


While urging all Deltans to be steadfast, the Commissioner advised people to shun divisive tendencies as what is most required at present is the unity of all the different ethnic groups that make up the state.

As a top official of the current administration of Governor Emmanuel Uduaghan, he promised to always strive to maintain the legacies of his kinsman".

Honour? glorious? legacy? dem dey craise? for which state? Delta? e be like say winsh don catch all of them. They should go for deliverance before its too late!

Nb: imagine the kain people wey dey support am, their names na "Champion", abeg i go die today! "machination?" I never hear that kain thing before, anybody know wetin dat wan mean?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A message


I just sent a message urging the IMF to fulfill a promise they made to cancel Liberia's debt. Right now they are saddled with $4.5 billion of debt that was accumulated under corrupt dictator Samuel Doe. If the IMF were to fulfill its promise to cancel this debt the democratic government could dedicate resources to fighting poverty and rebuilding their country after 14 years of civil war.

You can send an email to the IMF here
Thanks for taking action with me.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Happy Birthday to my raz sister! Enjoy Bright Chimezie!

We enjoy this song die for Warri those days!

Thoughts, flowing, and whatever.....

As I sit here, in front of my screen, many thoughts run through my head, sometimes they pass through unchecked, memories and other observations of my life. In no particular order, I can remember a particular hot day in Warri drinking Limca, or an old woman's mole that fascinated me on the bus and a reflection or two about a conversation I heard. But sometimes,a simple reflection turns into scrutinizing, an analysis of the subject, further examination and finally I am forced to start writing. Today, one word, led me to analyse my identity as a human being and became an on going process that has led to this very moment. It all started when a friend of mine, left a message on my answering machine, she said " waffy! u no dey even try at all oh, I don phone you tire, try phone me back now, at least send you!". I listened to the message and slept off, thinking nothing of it, then I called another friend of mine, made plans for lunch tomorrow and watched "spanglish". That movie made me cry at the end, when she said "mi amor"..... those two words, "my love".... then re connected to that message "love you"! and of course, the wheels of reflections about love was already set in motion. I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday, and then before I rang off she said "by the way, our winter song is "bed" by J. Holiday", so of course, I had to go to youtube to check out "our" winter song, which was again, about love. Well, I am sure you would think that I started dreaming about a love long lost, knight in shining armour, etc. Wrong. This time around, because the word "love" was connected to so much today, a friend, a film, a song, my mind thought of anything and everything. I started thinking about all the things I love doing. I love reading, I love ice cream, I love books, I love leaves, I love music, especially reggae, I love train stations, I love thinking, I love writing about thinking.........and then, I started thinking about me, my identity, who I am, I am complicated, I think too much, I don't claim to be wise, but I try to make the right decisions, I don't ever wish anybody harm, I love life, I love living but sometimes I can be really depressed, at those times, the world is a useless place and everybody in it. I try to be happy, but I am not always happy, when I have money, I give, even if I don't have so much. I don't mind trying new things, adventures, of the heart and soul. I never forget a good deed done to me and I try to make the person know that I appreciate it. I get mad at times, but soon enough, I forget about it, as time goes on. I make huge catastrophic mistakes sometimes but I always accept the consequences. I try not to regret things, I try to move on even though sometimes it seems like I never will. My biggest wish in life is to have love and happiness for myself, friends and most of all, for my family. This is who I am, I am not perfect, I am an ordinary human being, hoping and wishing for the right thing. I know who I am. Love is beautiful, love from my friends, my family, love from the world, but most of all, I love being me. I am okay.

P.S: Hers's our winter song, enjoy!

dis kain ashawo song for winter na wa oh!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The dirty dirty world of Niger Delta politics, goverment, arms, money, all sorts!

This might take some time, but for those of you that really want to know how deep the rot is, here is your chance.You all think "Niger-Delta", is far away, those crazy waffy people, the butt of all jokes? Perhaps your views on just how seriously fucked up Nigeria is will change after you read this. Disgusting on all levels.

What will my life be without reggae?

Friday night, listening to music and dreaming of Cuba and white wine!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Global Democracy Day

Today (October 18th), We join the Global Democracy Day Work group, in the efforts to persuade the UN member countries to back the proposal to set aside October 18th as the Global Democracy day. The work group intends to get the United Nations to declare October 18th the official international day for democracy. Please join us as we take a stand for democracy and good governance in Nigeria.
We believe that an increased awareness about the issues relating to governance will serve to nurture democracy in Nigeria. Join The NigerianLightHouse, let us encourage democracy in Nigeria.

Conversations here and there

At the bus stop

Mother: So, it is really very hard

child : Mummy are you talking about me?

Grandma: Please child, I and your mother are discussing now.....

Mother: Anyway, so while all this is going on.....

Child: Mummy, what are you talking about?

Mother: Please, can you be quiet, I and your grand ma are having an adult conversation...

Child: Grandma, are you talking about me?

Grandma: No, please be quiet now.

Child: Mummy are you talking about me?

On the train

Girl on phone: Do you think you can come and pick me up?
Why can't you?
No, thats not true, I never ask you to pick me up....
In fact, come to think of it, why don't you?
Other boyfriends, don't they pick their girlfriends?
I don't understand why you can never help me out, after all, it is not everytime I ask you for a favour.....
Really, when last did you pick me up?

At another bus stop

Young boy: Really, I think teachers are so stupid!

Friend: Me too! their own is just to follow their fucking syllabus! they are so dumb!

Young boy: I can't stand teachers, they are so stupid sometimes!

Young boy: They never give good grades for those that try really hard, for example, i always get good grades in P.E, even though I miss classes, but because I am so fit, ofcourse I can do all the exercises we are given, but there is a guy in my class that is overweight, he is always present and tries really hard, but ofcourse he can not do all the physical activities properly because of his weight, and he never gets good grades! I think thats unfair!

At the Sauna

Teenage girl: So did you check the text? what did she say?

Other teenage girl: She was like, ehhhh "It was a tough week but i am better now"....... something like that... at least she answered my would have been embarassing other wise....i don't ...

Teenage girl: Like how?

Other teenage girl: Like, I don't know if she was just being know...if she was really being honest.....I mean....its like....Its been a week you think she can get over him so fast?, I don't know....its just somehow....

Teenage girl: The thing is like, she has bad self esteem, like self confidence...

Other teeange girl: Its like, outside, she is like, very outgoing....but inside...I mean...I think she has bad self esteem....and it it shows....

Teenage girl: And what did Sabrina say?

Other teenage girl: ehhhh, she was the one that told me they had broken up....when she told me she sounded but later when I asked her ....she was just like who cares? that sort of I don't know, but the thing is, he never really liked her I don't know....she has bad self-esteem.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Is God Democratic?

All over the world this week, Democracy is being celebrated. Many questions are being asked and answered. Here is one of the questions: Is God Democratic? Some said "yes", their reasons being that God states that all humans are equal and are of the same value to the Lord. This, they believe, is a fundamental issue in democracy. Others, believe otherwise, they say there are many examples of "a jealous God", "you must serve no other", etc, pointing to a more "dictator style" than democracy. What is your opinion? Is God democratic?

Also, please check out this website, called why democracy?

It is a wonderful project involving 38 public service tv stations all over the world. They will be showing different documentaries and short films about democracy. I have watched two so far, and they have been very interesting and eye-opening. Go to the website and check for the screening time in your country. The documentaries will run from the 8th of october. I implore you all to watch a few of them, if not all!

Here are the documentaries and the short films.

For those too lazy to check out the website, hope this gets you interested!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Does it ever end?

Another case of "renovation", na wah, dem dey take this their renovation business serious oh! Abeg, read about the nonsense, here.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Thursday, October 11, 2007

About Delta......

Please, take your time to see this, here

Ibori, where your handwork?

Dedicated to James Ibori

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

and that useless Ibori.....

Always disgracing more here.

Airport Blues.......

"Please wait", that's what the damn board says, "Please wait". I want to go now, I don't want to wait. Here. Alone. Why can't I travel with other people? Why do I always have to travel alone? Look, there's a mother and daughter, a whole family, two friends, partners, team mates, there goes a whole bunch of well dressed young men, I bet they are going for some serious meeting in Venice or Rome, some high class top priority meeting. Why can't I be in that group? go for meetings that make decisions that change the world? Why can't I? instead, I am sitting here, waiting for the damn board to change...wait....I think its about to change.....damn! the same thing.....I hate this shit, sitting waiting, bloody shops, "BMV", what the hell is that anyway? "Glorious England", I bet all the American tourists are in there, buying "double decker" buses and all other worthless English souvenirs. Tax free, people going crazy cos its tax free....I'll just eat my sandwich, tuna and something. I forgot to buy something to drink, I don't dare leave my seat, I have perfect view of the might change....patience, patience is the key..... the key to what?....the key...slow and steady wins the race....what the hell does that have to do with the damn board? slow and steady......and by the way, why the hell are people always blaming the "victim"? Someone steals your bag, and its always "you should have been careful", "you were careless", someone cheats on you, " you are too naive" "you should have known better", and of course the classic case, a woman is raped, "you should not have worn that" "you drank too much", Damn! I hate that shit, for once it will be refreshing for people to say "fuck that dumb ass motherfucker, hope he eats shit and die!" for once, they could find one single reason why the dumb ass was wrong.....wait......something is happening.....the board is getting into action....."Please wait".....Damn! I am not waiting, I refuse to wait, why should I wait here? I am going to my gate, why am I taking orders from a damn board anyway? I am going.......

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Weekend gist........

So na so I land London. The flight was dry, apart from one screaming baby, nothing newsworthy. I always think I am going to do so much everytime I travel but unfortunatley I always end up doing the same thing. Drinking, eating and checking out the club or pub scene, whatever that country has to offer. All cultural expeditions always fly out of the window. Another wonderful reason why London is always a favourite city is Naija food. I confess, I dreamt of plantain, pounded yam, peppersoup, in fact, I had a detailed list of every naija food that I just had to eat. A friend of my sisters was visiting and she made stew with "nuneh", I have no idea how to spell it, but its black beans? whatever, she cooked that thing since thursday night and the apartment still stinks of that stuff. Damnnnnn, that shit stinks. I am still in shock over how stinky that thing can be, but the stew was sweet sha, I have to confess. Anyway, after destroying my stomach, we headed up to a salsa club. Oh boy! the heat, the heat coming from human bodies..... anyway, I was supposed to meet up with an old friend of mine there. I have not seen her in about a year, so I was quite excited to see her. She was there when we got there, I walked up to her really excited, went to hug her, she blanked me or rather, she gave me "isho". I thought she was joking, so I tried again, the same reaction. Ha! I decided to drop my coat and then come back, came back, same thing. Ha! I asked, whats up? She looked at me and said "do I know you?" Chineke! I no even fit talk, I just said, "abeg, I dont have time for this" and went on my way. Met a couple of Naija guys "gyrating" their lives away with latinas. I was impressed oh! Na me clap pass for my brothers. Haba! dem try, abeg. Na so one spanish guy come dey confess everlasting love for me, say if I touch am, im go die, I touch am, nothing happen. Hissssssss. Danced the night away, and completely forgot about my friend. She later wrote a message saying it was just a "joke that went too far". Ha! I tire for human beings oh. Apperantly, she was trying to "form" small, I was supposed to beg her small, then she was supposed to then "gree". I no know say people dey act that kind play for London. If she had sent me my "lines" on time, I would have acted my part to perfection. I will be on the bus to the airport in about an hour. My London trip was a blast, nuneh and all. I had fun.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Na wa for naija salsa dancers!

Just came back from a club, oh boy! see naija men doing all sorts. I bow oh! Dem just dey dance with Spanish women, doing dis and that, dis way and dat way! haba! Me, na Urhobo dance I give them, shuooo, the thing come sweet small self, add some ijaw moves, come top am with ibo hand movement, I am telling you, it was a hit! Anyway, going to bed now, had a great time, funny thing, did not even drink. It was fun watching everybody else having fun. Good night, hope life is treating you all well, I'll give you more gist about the salsa club tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I just think this is so funny!

There are three classes of citizens. The first are the rich, who are indolent and yet always crave more. The second are the poor, who have nothing, are full of envy, hate the rich, and are easily led by demagogues. Between the two extremes lie those who make the state secure and uphold the laws.

Euripides - The Suppliants

I have only two blogs, "THE WAFFARIAN"(formerly known as "waffy girl in Europe") and Waffy's Corner. However, there is another blogger called "cally-waffybabe", thats NOT me, I think she is also "calabar girl's pal".I have not sent out invites for any of my blogs.

The coolest thing.....

I wrote to one of my favourite authors in the world, Paolo Coelho, and I actually got a reply! How cool is that?

Dear Waffy,(I've removed my real name ofcourse)

I cannot begin to express my gratitude for your kind message. Knowing
my readers are feeling and going through in their lives only inspires
me to
continue my work.

Nothing is impossible, as long as you wish it with all your heart.

Paulo Coelho

You can laugh all you want, yes I am being childish and loving it!

Meanwhile, a few words about the book of revelation

Well, my dear people, I now understand why this earth must be wiped out. I agree with the book of revelation. It has to be done, and I implore the Lord, to do it as quick as possible. There is no such thing as humanity. That word does not exist, people are not humans. When God made humans, I am sure he gave us hearts, please check yourselves, do you have hearts? If you have, too bad, you are one in a million, most people do not have hearts. It is a rare commodity, that is why, I will pray fervently this night for the destruction of this world and all living things in it. It must all be gone. There are no hearts left in the world. Do not laugh, I am ready to go, are you?

Lord God almighty, the one who is and who was!
We thank you that you have taken your great power and have begun to rule!
The heathen were filled with rage,
because the time for your anger has come,
the time for the dead to be judged,
The time has come to reward your servants, the prophets,
and all your people, all who have reverence for you,
great and small alike,
The time has come to destroy those who destroy the earth!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Comment section.......

Dear friends,

I will be removing the comment section from my posts, not because I do not appreciate your comments, I really do, but when I started this blog, I did it because I love to write and for no other reason. I am very grateful for all the comments I have received so far and I thank you all for them. I will of course always reply my emails.

Lots of love

TO PATRICE: waffy's corner is now invite only, I don't know how else to reach you. Send me an email.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Happy Independence day!

Hello people, please do not forget to attend the SPEAK UP! campaign hosted by NigerianLighthouse. Those of you that did not send in any messages can still participate by attending the rally by 12pm and voting for the finalists. Nigeria is 47, we must move forward, na by force!

The eloquence of silence.......


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Something to think about......

A friend of mine called me recently, she was furious because another friend of ours had called her names and insulted her. I told her to forget about it, she did not need to become petty. She then got mad at me and asked how I could be so calm about it all. I told her a story I had read in one of Paolo Coelho's books(I am pretty sure he would not mind me sharing it with you guys).

There was once a wise man who moved to the city of Akbar. No one took much notice of him, and his teachings were not taken up by the populace. After a time, he became the object of their mockery and their ironic comments.
One day, while he was walking down the main street in Akbar, a group of men and women began insulting him. Instead of pretending that he had not noticed, the wise man turned to them and blessed them.
One of them said:
"Are you deaf too? We call you the foulest of names and yet you respond with sweet words!"
"We can each of us only offer what we have", came the wise man's reply.

For my sisters

Who in childhood delirium actually thought they were top class lambada dancers. I am sure they still know the moves! Dance on girls!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The coffee club

I got a nice message today, a very good friend of mine is coming to visit, and this brought back lots of fun memories. I remember the first time I met my friend, I was rushing as usual from the metro, cigarette in one hand (yes, much to my shame, I used to be a smoker) and books in the other, trying to walk as fast as I could while at the same time smoking as fast as I could. I noticed someone across the street doing the exact same thing, trying to smoke and run at the same time. We got to the front of the building at same time, still trying to finish off what was left of our cigarettes.

Me: We are finishing these, right?
Him: Of course.

We finished our cigarettes and went up the lift, we stopped at the same door.

Me: I think we are in the same course
Him: Thank God! a normal person at last!

Thus, commenced a friendship and invention of the "coffee club". The coffee club started off with very honourable intentions, we were going to go to the cafe after every course and do our assignments together while drinking coffee and smoking. Well, the coffee club continued throughout the duration of the course but the only honorable thing we ever did on our meetings was to have discussions on books we had read, apart from that, the sessions were mostly filled with gossiping and smoking our lungs away. Soon enough though, the coffee club became quite popular as other members of the course thought it was a great idea to "study". Unfortunately, not everybody was suited for the coffee club and we were wont to "sack" people at will. I remember a particular case of a very sweet Greek girl that became a regular in the club circuit. She turned up like clockwork and would actually make us do some work. However, one day, she also happened to open her mouth. She was quite young but already had very strong political views. She had a lot of hatred for her Turkish neighbours and expressed her views quite openly. The founding members of the club both agreed that she was no longer suitable to be a member of our club. We "sacked" her that same day. The club disbanded after our course ended and we all soon went our different ways but by this time next month, there will be a reunion of the coffee club with the only two members left.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Serious help needed! what do you do if a lump of your hair turns to "dada"?

I need help. Normally, I just add tons of conditioner and the hair detangles but this time around, it has refused. What should i do? I am desperate, my hair is long and I don't want to cut it. Does anybody have any solutions? I 'll try anything. Pls help!!!!!!!!!!

update: I am going to cut my hair now, I am sad.Yes, self pity. Its not fair, I do everything right, really try hard and every fucking time, some shit like this happens. I hate this shit life and everything in it!

update on the update: I now have short hair. Life sucks and yes, I am still wallowing in self pity!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

And off you go!

Its 4 o'clock in the morning and I just dropped off my brother at the airport. We talked about many things, his aspirations, dreams, hopes, goals and life in general. He has great hopes for his future and he spoke with such determination in his eyes that I know he will achieve all his goals. Discussing with him brought back so many memories of the 18 yr old who left Nigeria many years ago. I remember my father talking to me at the airport, I remember crying as I waved him goodbye, I remember being scared on the plane, I remember feeling cold and thinking everything seemed strange. Those days are long gone now and instead of a scared girl, I am now a woman giving the same advice my father gave me years ago "buy a bus card immediately, so you can move around", "stay out of trouble", it all sounded so foreign to my ears, has time gone by that fast? I still remember carrying him on my bicycle, taking him to school, I remember our secret treats of "fried fish and yam" from a roadside seller, I remember him chasing me out of the house with a stick, I remember when he could not pronounce my name properly, I remember all this and I want to cry. He has grown and I am so proud of my brother who today told me his hopes of saving enough money so he could take care of mummy, she is getting old, of finishing the house my father started. It struck me that his dreams were so unselfish, thoughts of others. As he starts his journey into adulthood and life, I close my eyes and pray.....

Dear Lord, guide my brother, let him continue to be the good and kind person you have made, may his days on earth be full of love and kindness, may his life continue to be a blessing to everyone around him, but most of all, give him happiness and fulfillment.

The world is waiting, off you go!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Hello friends, our very own solomonsydelle and Omodudu are at it again! They will soon be launching a brand new website NigerianLighthouseand to celebrate our country's independence day, they have also launched a new campaign. Please do not be afraid to take part in the competition, write something, anything, I am sure we all have a lot of venting to get off our chests!

Nigeria will be 47 on October 1st. To celebrate the nation’s birthday and to commemorate Nigerian Lighthouse’s inception, we present the Speak Up Nigeria campaign. This is an attempt to encourage unity amongst Nigerians.

Write a message to Nigeria. Whatever it is you have ever wanted to say. Your message can be long or short, funny or serious. Just send a message to your country on its day of Independence. The top 5 messages will be selected by the Nigerian Lighthouse Team and voted upon by the Nigerian blogger community. The best message will receive an IPOD NANO and the winner will be announced on October 1st.

Only one message per participant is allowed, so make it a good one!


All messages must be submitted by midnight (US Eastern time) on Saturday, September 29th.

1. One entry per participant.

2. The winning post will become the property of Nigerian Lighthouse.

3. All participants must provide their email address.

4. The winner may be asked to provide their name and address to receive their prize.

For more information, please go to NigerianLighthouse

Friday, September 7, 2007


Theme: Literacy As Democracy Dividend
DATE: NOVEMBER 9-11, 2007

Hello people, came out of blogville retirement to announce a very cool event coming up soon in Lagos! For all you book lovers, make sure you attend,there will be symposiums, discussions, music, dance, and lots of other fun events for adults and kids. For more information, please go to cora

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Night walking, Princess Charlotte, Rasta man and other stories......Part Three

Breathe waffy, breathe, don't laugh so hard, I just could not help it, it was too much for me, okay, I am okay, why are people shouting? what is playing? "miss fatty fatty you're a burner, me like the way you...." is that why all the girls have gone into an epileptic trance? let me get in there..."miss fatty fatty you're a burner, me like the way you move and a turner" wait, the commander is off somewhere.....what is happening? I think we are leaving, maybe its time to move on, no problem, lets drink and be merry, ah, the cool night air, gently caressing my face, wait, thats a police van, chairs and table, coffee......

"Lets get some coffee, look, maybe its free, right beside the police van"

"waffy, I don't think it is free"

"it has to be, why would there be a police van, chairs, table, coffe, at 4 o'clock in the morning on the street? I'll ask...."

"Excuse me, is it possible to get some coffee?"

"Do you want to report an incident?"

"If I report, can I get coffee?"

"Yes, ofcourse"

"Maya, lets make a report"

Party spoilers! No, no coffee for me this time around, we could have reported that white guy at the club.....I wonder if they had cookies? I bet they had, they must have, to pacify all the drunk people at night, i am sure cookies was included, oh dear, we are stopping again, oh, what nice boys, they are talking to Catherine the commander........

10minutes later.....

Fuck Fuck fuck! Catherine the commander is at blows with the nice boy, he asked her for a cigeratte, she wouldn't give him, he called her a bitch, she jumped up and gave him a slap, oh dear, he is pulling his shirt, why? for tiny Catherine? be a man, walk away, you can't fight with a girl.....oh dear, maybe he could, Catherine is still rearing to go, oh dear, but here's the police, damn, what a strong man, he's got the boy, they are pushing him in the van, I bet they give him coffee, coffee and cookies, I wonder what kind of cookies, chocolate, or just plain ones that.....

"Stop the fighting!"

Damn, who the fuck is singing "stop the fighting" so loud, this time of the night, a jamaican voice.......

"Stop the fighting!"

Oh dear, this one has gone nuts, he is following us now, singing that song, he just says the same thing over and over again......

"Jah rastafarai, we should learn to live in peace, we are all one "

Oh dear, he is now going off into some jamaican rap..... we are in the middle of the street, rasta guy is rapping, laughter, tears.... Maya is in tears, her shoes are killing her, take them off, take the damn shoes off, we don't need no shoes.....we are still here, on the street...lets go home, drink coffee and eat breakfast, lets have cookies, chocolate ones or vanilla don't worry Maya, be free, I'll watch out for dangerous stuff on the road, take your shoes off, no one needs such suffering at a time like this.Good bye rasta man, you are white, middle aged, blonde........

"how long did you live in Jamaica?"

"I was there on holiday for two weeks"

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Night walking, Princess Charlotte, Rasta man and other stories......Part Two

Lost without you, can't help myself, how does it feel, to know that I love you babe, lost without you..... ah! what is happening? Catherine has suddenly become "master in command", with her trench coat, she is really looking like a small gangster, she is talking about us going to the south of the city, I don't mind, anywhere will do, as long as I am feeling good, let there be booze, music and comradship....lost without you, can't help myself...

Charlotte: "I don't feel comfortable in the south"

Comfortable, now thats a strange word, comfortable, reminds me of a soffa, big fluffy pillows, hot cocoa, shampoo, washed hair, teddy bears, climbing trees, childhood.....didn't somebody say something about a taxi?......there's one....

...... I think I'll just take a taxi, and go home......

Where is everybody? Hmmmmmmmmmm, lets see, Maya and Aaron have disappeared, something about getting a hot dog, Catherine the commander is showing off her "ethiopian shoulder shaking" dance steps to Sam, the queue doesn't seem to be letting up, but it is a warm night, reminds me of that song......"love is in the air" , damn! that song is such a "make out while you are drunk with a total stranger" song, that song and "lady", you know, the video is the one with two boys and a girl, sort of techno, came out the same time as "and if this ain't love, why does it feel so good", damnnnnn , what year was that? That summer was damn hot! outside, vodka, foriegners with blonde hair, youth hostels, train stations.......

....I can't go to the south, I am not comfortable there, I should get a taxi....

One should never do stuff that one is not comfortable with my dear, go home, fly like a bird, but the night must go on, yes, here's a big hug, goodbye dear girl, we are off, walking through the night, my friends and I, our laughter echoing through the night, one step at a time, we find our way in the dark night, through streets of....

Catherine: "I know the worst Turkish disco ever!"

Did somebody say disco? yes, lets go there, it doesn't matter if you're black or white, took my baby on a saturday.......(can't remember that part)but I believe in miracles and a miracle's gonna happen tonight, cos it don't matter if my baby's black or white, that's Micheal Jackson's black or white.....ah! wonderful! no entrance fees, but what do we have here? ahhhhhh, Fat white girls everywhere, let me guess, all my brothers are here... If I worked for, wait, let me settle properly, great fucking view, some arab song blasting on loudspeakers "habibi habibi", look at that white girl go! and the blacks here all seem to know the song well...."habibi habibi".....

30 minutes later......

Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!, I am behind Aaron, the big security guys are between him and a white guy who smacked maya's head while passing, you have to give it to these arab boys, you disrespect their women and you are in soup! Damn..... What chivalry! What a man! he is begining to look handsome.... the white guy is still making noise, he is being thrown out of the club, Aaron is smiling, sipping his beer, damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! well, glad that is over, lets see what else is happening.....a whole group of "peru men", all drunk, now they've switched to hip hop music, one of the guys jumps up, he is doing "b boy" steps, lets clap, lets form a circle, good, everybody is in on it......Please Lord let me not die of laughter, I can't take it anymore, my brothers have found us, drunk, everybody wants to show off.....I am dying.....I need to breathe......

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Chasing swans: The pics

The last picture is of a lonesome "bachelor" taken days before the family appeared. Hope you enjoy them!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Night walking, Princess Charlotte, Rasta man and other stories......

Beautiful day, been "hiding away" for too long, time to face the music, time to face "I told you so!", time to hear the inevitable "so what are you going to do now?", time to hear it all, and I am ready, red dress, red lipstick, I am feeling very "wanton" tonight.......ah! there is my friend Maya! In high heels as usual...she'll be crying by the time this night is over.....

After two bottles of wine, the story is pouring out now, in great bouts of laughter, I can not help it, the wine has gone straight into my head and I am feeling great....

"waffy, would you mind if my friend Aaron comes by? he really is fun"

Ah! anybody is welcome tonight, the night is young, everybody is looking fresh and clean...... Aaron has arrived, fresh off a holiday in Bulgaria, welcome back my friend, yeah, life must continue, forget about cheap booze and women, we are stuck here, and we shall be miserable together, Cheers to us!

"waffy is it okay if my friend Charlotte drops by, she wants to go out with us"

Tonight, anybody is welcome, let us drink and be merry, life must go on, there are ....hmmmmmmm......I should give that one a smile.......I don't care tonight.....Charlotte has arrived..... I should call my friend Catherine, I haven't see her in ages, I must tell her of my bad news and ofcourse....good news..

"Catherine, I am at "North" where are you?"
"You fucking bitch! when did you get back from Nigeria?"
"what are doing? Come to North....."
"I am home, in bed, in my pyjamas"
"Come to North....."
"It will take me 40minutes"
"Come, I'll be waiting......."
"Don't fucking go anywhere...give me 40 minutes."
"Come, I am not moving"

Great! It will be good to see Catherine again, I have missed her, I have so much to tell her..... Ah! Pretty as always, get a drink and lets move on, the night is young....

Aaron:" My friend Sam, is coming by, is it okay?"

The more the merrier! I miss SM, I wonder what he is doing? He was such a nice person, sometimes I meet really incredible souls....sometimes....

Charlotte: ....." why do Americans always talk about money?"

This one must have missed the three rules when we go out, "don't talk about religion, politics or money"....what is she on about?......but forget about her....where was I? Oh yes, I was thinking of SM, a wonderful person....Oh damn, everybody has somehow managed to leave Charlotte, she is walking beside me now, I have to be polite...... what is she going on about?

"..... so, my father told Hugh Heifner that he could not make the party and then Hugh called him and asked if he chould send his private jet...."

"this was when?"

"In the 70's, before I was born"

70's... disco era.....anyway, SM was so nice to me, I remember when I said I was hungry and......

" my mum used to hang out in studion 54, and she used to meet all sorts of rich Americans, she had hair all the way down her back....."

70's, disco era, Andy Warhol, drugs, cocaine, sex, beegees, yeah.... so, hmmmmmmm, when I said I was hungry, it was quite late at night, I mean everywhere was closed, yet, somehow.......

"...... so my mum was in this limousine with all these rich people and imagine, she was working in a bank in New york and the people in the limousine "owned" banks, imagine that!"

Limousine, banks, New york, musicals, broad way, glamour.....anyway, all of a sudden, he came with a tray, there was tea, and sardines and was all too much for me, somebody being nice to me....people are never that nice, going out of their way.....he is probably out somewhere drinking now......Cheers! drink and be merry! life must.....

"........I mean, we are quite well off, but you never see me talking about money! I mean, I know we have money, I'll probably find out when my parents die, but I don't know how much........."

Money, money money, always funny, in the rich man's world, ahhhhhhhh, all the things I could do, if I had a little money.....thats an ABBA song, I loved the video as a kid......ah....yes, SM is probably drinking somewhere...Oh, here we are, I wonder how long we've been walking for? 20 minutes? but there is a long queue...... I am thinking of a song.......

Charlotte: "This is going to sound snobbish, but I don't do queues"

What the hell is the name of the song? Robin Thicke....I want it this way......I want it that way......damn!why can't i fucking get the chorus? wanna roll with, you wanna....fuck! how the fuck does the chorus go?

Charlotte: "If it was a place like "TENOR"(Trendy club),i'd line up, but not this place!

I can't let that song go, what time is it? almost 2.... I'll write my sister.... sms.....what is the name of that robin thicke's song that I like?......hopefully, she'll reply and put me out of my misery......ah! good my phone is ringing......

Waffy's sister: "Lost without you!"

waffy: " abeg sing the chorus, I can't get it......."

waffy's sister: "lost without you, can't help myself, how does it feel, to know that i love you babe......lost with....

waffy: "okay okay, I got it now, thank you jare, good night!"

Lost without you, can't help myself, how does it feel....this night is going to be a good night, I can feel it.......

To be continued....

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Chasing swans....

Okay, I have snapped out of it!(wienna, na only because of you), so what has been happening? Nothing much my friends, still on holiday, swimming, starring and just being useless. Yesterday, I fed a whole family of swans! Yep, it has taken me 5 years but I have finally done it!(you all know swans mate for life right?)Okay, here is the story of how I accomplished my mission...

1st year: First sighting of swans! Amazing, beautiful, ran down to sea shore to take pictures, was not fast enough, swans disappeared before I get there!

2nd year: Sighted swans from window and watched as they swam away.....did not even attempt to run down....

3rd year:This time, I made it down to sea shore, took pictures at a distance....

4th year: Ah! This time, I was prepared oh, had canoe ready, started chasing them but they were faster than my "rowing" ability, did not even manage to take pictures cos my hands were tied up.

5th year: Woke up to shouts of "waffy, your swans are here!", ran like a mad woman, grabbed a loaf of bread, practically "rolled" down to the sea shore.....ah.....and there they were....a complete family, pappa, mamma and 7 baby swans(sorry I lack the correct vocabulary, they should be chicks though since they all fall under "birds" but swans are just too beautiful......i like "baby swans"). Started feeding them, and lo and behold, they came nearer and nearer....Oh, what joy! after years of running and chasing, I finally get the perfect shots of my swans!My friends, I was smiling all day and I am still smiling!