Monday, January 28, 2013

Soul adventurer...

Snow, white, the train passes places I recognise. I jogged there, I cycled there, I cried there, I was happy there, I was sad there, it passed through my memories of the city. I sang to myself, "stop that train I 'm leaving", Peter Tosh. Everything was familiar and known.

The bus was already there when I arrived. 2 mins. I did not have to run. There was nobody on the bus. It was very cold. Nobody was outside. The driver waved me in, without looking at my ticket. Great. It occurred to me that I have been having a particularly good  run with this ticket. I have been all over the city in two days and just two controllers have put a stamp on it. They mostly just wave me in. This might be because I always greet the drivers. People don't greet.I think its rude to enter a bus and not acknowledge the person at the wheel so I always say hi. Anyway, this made me feel like perhaps I was actually a lucky person, despite all the disappointments I usually have, when it comes down to it, on a daily basis, I actually meet more kind people than most people. Random people, of course. I have to be the world's expert on meeting random people. I got off the bus. There was a lonesome taxi at the end of the street. The street was desolate. It would have been perfect for one of those winter horror movies...or something existentialist....the buildings on both sides of the road looked abandoned and sad. If not that I had just talked to my friend, and knew for sure that she was in one of these buildings, walking down that road, with a taxi cab with its lights on at the end of a snow covered road would not have been attempted. What will be in the taxi? A dead body? A weird looking taxi driver, perhaps conveying ´ghosts or vampires to other dimensions of the universe. Who knows? There was no such thing of course, just a taxi driver who seemed to have lost his way. He looked as scared as I looked. Like "what the fuck is this shit all about?". I know men, I know.

My friend had coffee on when I got to the cafe. Its an art cafe, I helped out there in the summer. Had a good time doing nothing, just writing and trying to paint.  She had coffee on when I arrived and a box of luxury chocolates. I thought she had got that as a present, "oh, nice present?" I asked. "I bought it myself" she replied. Well done!  So I settled in with coffee and chocolates and we talked about our lives.

She is much older than me, about my mother's age but she is a good friend. Her husband, who is much younger than she is, is not one for conversations, he scrambled away as soon as I arrived and went about pretending to be busy. Whatever, it would not have been fun with him anyway.

Well, after coffee, I was dropped off at another God forsaken bus stop. A bus almost drove past me but it stopped a few meters after the bus stop. Got on, was waved in, again, empty bus. Still going well with the lucky ticket.

"Stop that train I'm leaving", "Stop that train I'm leaving", still in my head.

Observed all kinds of people getting on the train. I felt good with the mix of the people on the train. Mothers with crying babies, hard core looking gangsters with hoods, recovering alcoholics or whatever else they were recovering from, teenagers with head phones and old people returning from God knows where.

"Stop that train I'm leaving"...

.....whether I am right or wrong...

Thursday, January 17, 2013


I am tired of how human beings behave. How is it that people just can't get it?

I am tired of sending texts that go unanswered. Tired of waiting for calls that never come. Tired of sending mails that get no replies.

What more  do I have to do in life for some fucking respect? I treat you kindly, I think of you, I pray for your well being, all I do is wish you well, but you dismiss me and my own well being as if I was just another fly on the wall. "Oh there's a fly".

I deserve to be taken seriously and treated with respect. If you think my texts, mails are unworthy of your attention, well guess what? you do not deserve my attention.

Fuck you too.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Winter, gym, travelling...

I went back to the gym yesterday, the first time this year. I have been slacking. Seriously.

It was snowing, white fluffy snow...I met a friend for lunch then he dropped me off and I walked to the gym. On the way, I saw a homeless person all curled up under a dirty grey blanket on the side walk. I suppose he/she was sleeping. I did not have any money and I was not brave enough to stop and ask whoever it was underneath if there was no where else he/she could go. It was freezing. Nobody should be sleeping out in this weather. Well, unfortunately, I walked on by. I could almost hear the song "its another day for you and me in Paradise" in my head.

 The gym was not as painful as I thought it would be. But today my stomach muscles hurt. I tried to wake up early to go to the gym but ofcourse I fucked up. The alarm rang and all of a sudden, sleeping seemed so important.

Life in general is okay. I am seriously thinking of  travelling...for long periods of different parts of the world... Or at least Asia. It is a fact that my life is not going to be the regular normal society-demands-of-you kind of life. It is not going in that direction and never has so why not embrace my lifestyle fully? Whats the use of being free and at the same time not enjoying it? Its not like there is another choice at the moment so I might as well enjoy myself completely.

I am not waiting for anything to happen. Its happening now, this is it. My life is not regular, I accept it as it is.

Now all I have to do is save some money.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Lots of stuff...

I have a lot on my mind.

These weeks are going to be tough. So much to do, so much that needs to be done.

I just have to bite my lips and get on with it.

But after January, things will be easier. I will update more often and  hopefully I will have interesting experiences to narrate. Unfortunately, I haven't been describing the wonderful stuff that happen to me anymore on this blog. Feels like it has become more of "oh yeah, I am still alive" kind of blog but that is all going to change soon. Soon, very soon.


Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy New Year..

Happy New year dearest friends.

We are alive, we made it. We are heroes.

I have spent the holidays with my family. It was really good.

Now I am back, sitting in my room listening to some good old soul music.

I have a good feeling about this year. Its gonna be alright!

I really wish the best for all of us. Love, peace, happiness, I really do.

Yeah, things are gonna be fine.

Kisses to all!