Thursday, June 25, 2009

I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me...

I removed my high heels. I chucked it into my bag and with bare feet, I continue riding. I had not meant to ride my bicycle home, but he had asked me, "are you taking your bicycle?" and I said "Yes". In that moment, my mind had been made up. I would not want to come here again.

I cycled through the part of the city I knew so well. I took the "short cut" and in no time, I was at the station. It was empty. I took out my ipod and listened to some music. Madonna.

Two girls and a man walked past. With a dog. The man in black leather smiled at me. I did not smile back.

I got to my stop. It was five minutes past twelve. The next bus was seven minutes past twelve. I decided to leave my bicycle at the station and take the bus home.

I entered the lift. There was a black man singing. I recognized the songs. Christian songs, those ones that never ends, they just go into one another like the ones they play on radio in Onitsha...

I sang the ending with him...he sang "blessed be thy name" and in the end, I said "thy name of the Lord". He smiled at me and asked, "are you christian?" I nodded.

I did not tell him I was Nigerian too. In one of his hands, he had a big plastic bag containing plastic bottles. He had been out collecting bottles in the night. You get money when you recycle them.

He sang until the bus came. We both got off at the last stop. Then I remembered this line, "I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me"...

Then I went to bed.

Friday, June 19, 2009


Enjoying my day off. Will cook egusi soup today...and then will sleep and watch some Italian movie I borrowed from the local library...then I'll wash my hair...then I will go for a walk without any destination. Then I'll read a book...

Hope you are all good.

Lots of love,

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Hello fellow bloggers,

Yes, I had quite a weekend. Was super drunk on friday night and ended up crashing at my friend Stacy's place. Fortunately for both of us, her husband had fallen asleep in his computer room so we both could sleep on the huge bed and whisper and giggle like idiots. The next morning her husband said we both stink and refused to serve us breakfast in bed even though we begged and begged...

However, today, somebody served me breakfast in bed. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. It was delicious. Eggs and sausages, and cucumber, and tomatoes...lots of stuff...and juice.

Yesterday, I think somebody actually "prepositioned" (thats the exact word he used) me to be the "lady of his house", whatever that means. You can not imagine how funny I thought that was. Plus, he came to this country before I was born! I think, if I am not mistaken with my calculations, that he must be about 50!!!

Before catwalq asks me, I shall ask myself, "where do I meet these people?" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I am in a very good place in my life.

Not because of anybody (although, ghana guy is definitely making me feel HOT and very very special...)

But, I am in a good place because I am just... Its not about ME anymore...not at all. Its definitely not about me.

Ah! maybe one day I will explain...but just so you all know, I am happy.

lots of love,

Friday, June 5, 2009

Off to get drunk...

Have a nice weekend people. I am going for a previously planned meeting, for the very special reason to get nasty drunk. Yep, I plan such meetings in advance. One always needs the right sort of people to get drunk with. Anyhow, I am getting all dressed up to go and get thrashed. Hope you all have lovely plans for the weekend. Remember, life goes pretty fast, so make the best of your days. God bless and stay cool...

Don't worry, I 'll be back latest on monday...but if I aint here, have no fear, I will surely be recovering....

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The joy in being total "fucked up".

It is 05:31 and normally I would be dozing and dreaming of my morning swim and coffee...but I am not. I am preparing for an interview on this beautiful summer morning. The week has gone past pretty ankle is now all healed and I already rode (I actually had to check the dictionary if "rode" was correct, it just sounds funny, but it is, in case you think it sounds funny too) my bicycle yesterday. I had to get it from the station cos I was having nightmares that it was stolen (It had been there all week). Although they said I should give it two weeks before I start putting pressure again, oh well.

Anyway, so yesterday was pretty cool. Only because I had a surprise visitor...after my rant of "so make me smile damn it!". I am feeling pretty stupid cos it was kinda...well, "cute". He was surprised that I had NOTHING in my tiny "kitchenette" and wondered why I did not call anybody for help. My reasons were the following:

1)Things were already so fucked up that that was just one of the things that added up to the total fucked up pathetic situation. This just means, if its gonna be fucked up then let it be a total fuck up. Phoning someone to help me buy food is just spoiling the fuckedupness. You know, when it rains, it pours so let it pour, God damn it!

2) When you are in such situations, you grind your fucking teeth and get on with it. You dig deep for your survival skills and start eating rice and butter or spaghetti and ketchup. Yah man! No time for crying. You fight on. You show your strength of character, determination, etc etc.

3) I am proud.

He in turn, just said one sentence,

1) You are stubborn.

Oh and he said, he saw no reason for my "survival skills" and being "total fucked up" when help was right "under my nose".

Well, well, too bad. Next time, I'll call him and he can pamper me as much as he wants. For now, I need to shower, do something about my hair and get myself to the station. I don't have time for sitting around here, writing...I have got to fight, you know, take on the world, etc etc.

Have a nice day, people!

Lots of love.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

So I found "baby walakolombo"...

Okay, over the weekend I found a couple of songs that excited my soul and I posted them from youtube but I still dey await their arrival. Anyway, e be like say dem no go land anytime soon, so please enjoy "baby walakolombo" here also, here is wadjo and time na money couldn't find the video for rosie but at least the music dey. Also, no video for omoge. Here is also one of my favourites from Majek Fashek. And who remembers Junior and Pretty?. Here is Ras Kimomo with Rhumba Stylee

Yeah, this is what you do when you are stuck in bed with a sprained ankle. I go dey update as the day continues...heheheheheh

I don find Orits Wiliki
cheiiiiiiiiiiii, who remembers where are the prophets?why can't I find Alex O? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...make i dey search for others...

I can "handle" you...

It's not as if I do not appreciate the men that are "toasting" me, I really do, Its just that I don't understand their "lingo". Okay, one of them, the Ghanian, keeps telling me, "you will soon be smiling" WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Its driving me up the wall. Anytime I complain about something, that is his answer. "You will soon be smiling". I swear the next time he says that shit, I am gonna scream, THEN, MAKE ME SMILE, DAMN IT!

Then, the other guy that says he likes me, the guy from Sierra Leone, he thinks I have too much ambition, (don't ask me oh, you know how African men like to assume how women are. If you have your own opinions and are not quiet in a fucking corner, like an ant, then automatically, you are the "ambitious" woman. You know, the woman NOT to marry), but according to him, he feels he can "handle" it. He says he knows he can "handle" me and my ambitions. "Handle" indeed! Don't do me a favour, please. Handle ko, handle ni.

All these men and their damn arrogance, constantly telling me who I am. They always assume they have decoded you, they know exactly who you are, what you go for. They always think they are making decisions based on your "personality" and other "traits" that they have also decoded. They are all psychologists and anthropologists.

If you are not a part of my family, let me assure you, you don't know me. So, unless you were born in the same house with me, you don't KNOW me. You have no clue what I am capable or not capable of doing. You have no clue how far I will go to do certain things. You have no clue when my enough is enough. You have no fucking clue.

You don't know me, so you can not make me "smile" or "handle" me. First, you have to KNOW me.


Monday, June 1, 2009

Tolu Ogunlesi always wins...

Tolu always wins and I am always proud to know him.

Well done Tolu.

and something positive...

It's true what they say, the people you shit with (empty cabin biscuit carton) for six years, will be your friends for life. There is just something so personal about shitting together....

Two people that have kept me going in the hardest of times have turned out to be former boarding house mates. One, I have not seen in more than ten years, the other, I see every five years or so...

But twenty years ago, we were all scared ten year olds with buckets and hoes bigger than our selves, entering into the world of "boarding house" where you either become psychologically damaged for life or strong as a mutherfucker.

I hated that sick school but I LOVE the beautiful friends that somehow always find their way into my life when I need them the most.

I thank God for them. Thats what they said I should do. I should not thank them, but thank God.

So, I thank God.

Just musing...

The games people play with themselves and others, baffles me. The shell and cocoon they build around themselves and pretend that they are doing what they are supposed to, baffles me. However, I know it is me, that do not understand these games. I know it is me, that never learnt how to play. I live life as it comes with honesty and I try to be brave. I have no "rules" for anything. I follow my heart because I know as far as I am honest with myself (which, believe me, is extremely difficult because we always cloud the truth with a million and one other reasons based on a million and one other reasons etc), I can NEVER be on the wrong path. Life is that simple. The truth, I promise you, is always the way.

I think most people I know are living very funny lives. In coccoons and shells that they have built over the years. They make certain decisions that for me, borders on sheer madness. Yet to them, its logical and other coccoon and shell people would think its logical as well. I wonder, when will they see? when they will understand? Are they going to live their lives like this all the time? Following society's games...all these games they play, pretending this is "life". First you do this, then you do that, now you have to do this, then the next stage is this....they block their hearts and close their eyes to the truth. They take a deep breath and plunge into the rest of the games, which will surely come, for once they start, they never end...

These silly games, human beings play, with their own lives, their futures, their happiness, these silly games....