Sunday, May 31, 2009

A sunday kind of love....

Happy sunday people. I am stuck in bed with a sprained ankle, wishing I had someone to make tea for me...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Too funny...

Abeg, read this thing...hehehehehehehehhehehehehehehhee abeg, make una come borrow generator, I dash una self. Olodos.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Just Sharing...

Rabbi Elisha ben Abuyah used to say:

Those who are open to life’s lessons and who nurture no prejudices are like a blank sheet of paper on which God writes his words with divine ink

Those who are always looking on the world with cynicism and prejudice are like a sheet of paper already written upon and on which there is no room for new words.

Don’t bother about what you already know, or what you don’t know. Don’t think about the past or the future, just let the divine hands write down each day the surprises of the present.

From Paulo Coelho's Warrior of The Light online, Issue nÂș 199

See wetin football dey cause?

I don't get why people are so obsessed with British football clubs. I only watch football when Nigeria plays or if there is some super final in Olympics or some shit. I have no feelings for any European team. I mean, I have "general knowledge" like everybody else does. I know the big teams, perhaps some key players,(especially the hot ones), etc. Maybe if I lived in football crazy England, things will be different or maybe if I have friends that are interested in football, my interest would have been piqued by now. As it is, the people I hang out with just know stuff about books, films, stuff. I don't know anybody that cheers for any local team.

However, it seems Nigerians are totally nuts over those damn British football clubs. Boys and girls. Everybody supports a team. I remember last year, in Lagos, one of my friends asked, "so are you Man U or Arsenal?" I had no fucking clue why anybody would ask me such a question. For a moment, I thought she was offering cocktails...cos it seemed too ridiculous to me that anybody would want to know what football club I was supporting...I mean why the hell would anyone assume EVERYBODY watches the damn sport? It was really an "eye opener" cos it was then I knew there is something not "quite right".

For real, there is something not quite right, when you see grown men and women in another continent going crazy over football clubs (not even the national team but "local clubs"...yeah, thats right, make una shoot me. Na local clubs I dey call them, yeah, yeah, billions of pounds, multinational, business, sports agents, bla bla bla bla, na local clubs of England)

People say its because we do not have football clubs in Nigeria that people can follow. And people are so hungry for the sport that they now follow the English clubs...

All I am saying, is that when you see something like this you just have to admit...

Something ain't right.

Monday, May 25, 2009

This, is how I feel...

At this very moment, this is my mood...

No country for brave men...

Every man thinks he is strong. Every strong man thinks he is brave. Yet, everytime one sees a brave man, it is not the strong man who thinks he is brave that one sees...because the strong man who thinks he is brave will only act tomorrow...

The brave man, will act NOW.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Nigerian Refugees in Nigeria, now isn't that swell?

You can find an update about the situation here. But ofcourse, since the big belle corrupt mutherfuckers(house of reps)have obviously not seen that picture, they want the military offensive to extend into the neighbouring states. Read about that, here. Assholes.

Seems like NEXT is the only one on ground there cos I am still not seeing anything from other newspapers....

Friday, May 22, 2009

Nigeria is not really "ONE" is it? what a fucking joke!






Just to say...

I did a post with a video sometime this never made it to my blog...maybe it got lost on the way? Just in case you come here and there is the same post shown like two or three times, please blame youtube.

I can't even remember what I wrote now, something about me being stressed and then calming down...or something like that....

Anyway, have a great weekend. We had a public holiday over here so I slept the whole day yesterday! The whole day! I did not realize I was that tired...

Also, check out my review on NigeriansTalk. Enjoy.

Have a good weekend.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Identity based on hair?

I can count the number of times I have done "bob marley" or "braids" in my life. I am lucky, I have enough hair to work with and I think one should always try to work with what one has. So I try to take care of it and treat it right. I eat a lot of vitamins and food with that particular thought in my head, that I have to accept my hair as it is. Also, I am an extremely impatient person so just thinking about sitting for hours for anything puts me off. I am very impatient. I do not do weave ons either. The itching and the heat is totally crazy!

However, I know many women that use weave ons and wigs and for real, some of them really need it. I remember one of our neighbours, mama Frank, the day I saw her without her wig...I almost had a heart attack. She had a huge patch in the middle of her head. She was bald. If na me wey bald, I swear, nothing no go make me no wear wig... haba!

Then, there are those that might not need it but just think they look better in it. Nothing wrong with that either. I love long hair and I have always admired women with long hair. If I had very short hair and there was no hope of it growing longer, then I swear, nothing will stop me from wearing weave on or wig. Lai lai, una no go fit hold me.

Now, unto people wey dey use "natural" hair. I applaud every woman that takes the time and energy to continue working with their own hair, no matter how hard it is. This goes for both black and white women. Do you think anybody wakes up in the morning and their hair is naturally glowing and flowing? lai lai. No need to look far. Turn on your Tv, you will see them washing, blow drying, spraying etc. By the way,it is not only black women that have problems with hair. My friend Agi, if you see her curly hair wey dey break go bow.

Then there are others who do not wish to comb their hair anymore. It is also called "dread locks". Although, I just call it "people that do not want to comb their hair". I have been tempted many times to go this way because I really hate combing my hair. As a child, this task was left to my mum. I hated combing my hair. I still do. As an adult, I am always happy to visit my family because sooner or later, someone will not be able to stand the sight of my hair and offer to comb it out. I have a couple of friends who have gone this way, Andre from Ukraine, Vedrana from Croatia, Marcin from Poland and Chichi from Nigeria. I am always jealous when I see them because I know they don't have to ever think of combing their hair again. By the way, of these four people, only one of them is a rasta.

Now, so how do I look at this thing called hair? For me, hair is just part of your body, its just something that is there, like your fingers or bum, or nose. Some might not even say so. Some might say they are dead cells. You look after it because it is part of your body and it can be beautiful like all parts of your body. I particularly enjoy taking care of my hair because that's the part that is easiest to do. The rest parts need much more hard work. You have to work hard to have muscles here and there, lift weights, bend here , bend there. The face is much easier to work with it cos u don't need to do anything...u are pretty much stuck with what you have...

Now, to my point.

I have been following with amusement a particular argument that seems to be cropping up here and there on blogville. It is a strange one for me because my idea about identity is quite different from a lot of people. First of all, I do not base my identity on the normal race, nationality, religion, etc, the usual common factors. Over the course of my life, I have realized that being ME has more to do with my character and principles in life than being Nigerian or Christian or whatever. From a very early age, I already knew that that is what I want to be defined as. What I stand for in life, is who I am. That's it. Simple.

Of course, I understand people having national pride, or pride in their colour, etc. If that is something that defines them as human beings, then, enjoy.

Now, to the point.

How the hell does hair become your identity?

But lets say, being African is very important to you and you will like to make that statement loud and clear for all to know,

Is it your hair that defines your identity as an African woman?(you can replace "african" with black/black american/ afropolitan/whatever)

For me, it is very hard to understand because I do not see anybody's hair and think "oh, she is a proud African woman" or "that's not a proud African woman". I might admire your hair if I think it is nice, but I swear I won't get any further impression on who you are as a human being until I get to know what you stand for in life. That's where I'll know if you are truly a proud African woman or not. I won't make that assumption based on the fact that your hair is "natural'. Also, there are many afro carrying human beings who totally despise being African/black. They might just have an afro because its easier for them, or because they have no choice.

Hair is just fucking hair. It does not make you any better or worse than you already are. At least I do not judge anybody based on how they wish to carry the damn thing.

I can not understand how anybody can be making a statement with hair. It's just hair. When I talk to my friends, it is their character I see, not their fucking hair. You can be "morro morro" for all I care. E no concern me. You fit carry hair like mammy water all the way down ya back. E no concern me.

What I am concerned about is, Are you a good human being?

Slippers under armpit...

I have been contemplating only problem is that I do not know WHERE. I don't want to go to the States cos I like my bicycle and hate hummers. I don't want to move back to Nigeria cos I don't know how to live in any other place than Warri.I never got the hang of Lagos and I don't feel comfortable not knowing all the corners...makes me feel unsafe. Anytime I enter a taxi, na just by luck. Cos they can take me anywhere and I will have no idea where I am . The only time I am absolutely sure of where I am going, is when you cross that bridge going to Victoria Island. It really sucks to be in that city. It's not like Warri is such a great place to live in but I know all the streets and roads and "corner corner" so I feel safer. I know where I am at all times and I know who lives where, whose house you can go to, etc etc. But anyway, I don't want to live there either. Okay, so I know, there are more cities in Nigeria than Lagos and Warri...but anyway, this is my excuse and I am sticking with it.

So I don't want to live in Europe, not in the United States, and definitely not in Naija.

So the options are Asia or another African country...

I am leaning towards "another African country"...(and no, not ghana, before some people begin think na because of ghana man...ghana man by the way is still there oh, but no progress seems they take things quite slow in that country)

Yes, I know, I'll have to learn new stuff there as well, new places, food, culture, etc etc...

I guess it will be an adventure...I don't know...I really need to find somewhere to live...cos this aint "werking" for me.

I give myself another year in this country. If, by that time, I still feel this way, then na to carry slippers under armpit, comot for here.

And please, nobody should mention England...that place sucks...

Wait...I could live in Nigeria though...maybe a village...I won't mind village life...but then I'll need some source of income...maybe I can be a farmer...

Oh Lord! What should I do?????????????

Okay, calm year...that's reasonable, breathe in and out, in and out, in and out....

Wait! Wait! I know! I wanna go to the exact place where these videos were shot...this is where I wanna live....

I mean, will it be so wrong to spend my days fishing and watching people dance lambada?

I could be a fisherwoman...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Poison Fire

I recently had the opportunity of meeting Lars who made this documentary. I am so grateful and thankful to people like him who take their time and energy to make sure that the world sees the collossial mess we have made of our lands.

I will keep talking about it and so should you. For more on what is happening at the moment, please visit this website and see how you too, can get active.

Our govt sucks but we don't, so lets do what we can.

Monday, May 11, 2009


The position to be waffy's husband and partner for the next three years is now available for suitable candidates. Due to the demanding and aggressive nature of men living in the "diaspora", all African men living abroad need not apply. Europeans may be considered.

Please look through the requirement section before applying.

1. Applicants must be virgins.

2. Applicants must at present, be living in a village.

3. All applicants must be earning a living in one of the following livelihoods: Fishing, farming or hunting. Teachers may be considered.

4. All applicants must have at least standard six education or its equivalent. No university graduates will be considered.

5. Height is not a requirement but muscles are. The man should be able to pound yam and fufu at least twice a week.

6. Must be submissive and soft spoken.

7. Must be able to clean, wash and cook.

8. Must be willing to stay at home alone for long periods of time.

9. Good English is not a requirement but should be able to say "Welcome home" and "Good bye".

10. Must be willing to cater to the needs of other family members.

The position is only available for 3 years as waffy realises that sooner or later his fellow men abroad will "open his eyes" .

All CVs should be submitted to the comment section of this post

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I am sorry, Engineers...

My mum told me some time ago, that the only reason people misunderstand me is because I am not with people who understand me. Meaning simply, that I need to be with people who think the same way like I do and then I would not feel misunderstood.

Basically, she said that my strategy sucks. Instead of becoming a recluse and keeping away from human beings, I am supposed to be finding people who are also like me(perhaps she could not bring herself to say other "weirdos" like you hehehehehe).

This week, I spent time with a friend of mine who I am not so close to because I have made no effort to do so.. We are alike in many ways...we both have a serious tendency to become hippies. Anyway, we had a very good time and it felt really good to be able to do things that I like to do. Since Jojo left, (damn that bloody England), I have not had a friend to go to places with.

My mum was right. I am always just with the wrong people.

I am sorry, Engineers...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ririovara (Wipe Your Tears)

Woke up this morning and listened to my most valuable CD...a collection of Naija reggae hits. This is my favorite song in the collection just cos it reminds me so much of my childhood and home...we rocked this song tire...Evi-Edna was so HUGE in Warri those days...and mandators of course...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

But why, do I waste my time?

I keep mostly to myself. I don't like being involved with too many people because they always end up disappointing me. Yet...sometimes, I decide to give people a chance...which is mostly me being a psychologist and listening to their various problems...Oh Lord, the problems! I listen and listen and listen...

then suddenly they disappear...because they feel better of course, or they no longer need your help, or they are now busy doing something else...

then you call, hoping everything is okay...wondering...

Of course they are okay...just they no longer need you, you know...

Then I ask myself, but why, do I waste my time?

sigh. At least I tried again...too bad, back to my old self.

And God save the next person that comes knocking on my door with one problem or the other...hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Monday, May 4, 2009


Sometimes I wonder....for real. See, I am sitting in this cafeteria when I hear this African guy wooing one of the white girls sitting beside me...he is telling her how he will take her to his "church" and "heal" her (she has sprained her leg or some shit), in great guffaws, he says his church is his "bedroom" bla bla, and the other guys are laughing now...

I am wondering how it is possible for people to fool themselves at such a low level?

Then he notices me, he comes over, tastes my food and tells me he gives me 11/10 and slowly nods his head...I tell him I have lived for this moment all my life and his judgement is the only thing that matters at this very moment in my life...

I don't know if he knows what sarcasm is, but he goes on about the he says I am "queen of the sky", I know he was going to say queen of something, but my icy stare must have made him forget his usual line, so now he says "queen of the sky"...

I tell him that is the most absurd shit I have ever heard, now he does not know if I am joking or not...he says something else...about the food again, he will take me back to his country...

I tell him to go back to charming the other ladies...maybe they enjoy that shit...

He still does not know that I am not joking and tries one last joke, or flattery or nonsense or bullshit...he says he must come and visit me one of these days...

I tell him : Indeed!