The night was heavy. I dreamt of being attacked by a
dog and the strangers who I seemed to know, did not help me. “The dog has tasted
blood” I said…but those people, the strangers, were far away.
It was 2:00 am, it was still, quiet, dark, the night.
My enemy. I should not have eaten that bowl of noodles, I thought. I was always
hungry at nights but I knew it was not hunger. It was anxiety, fear,
disappointment, loneliness, everything else but hunger.
The lady on the TV said her son had been as sour as
vinegar until he married his "online someone". It was not really love but at least
he was not alone anymore. He
had her and she had him, the mother nodded wisely.
Was that what it
all came down to then? Someone to dilute the vinegar?
When the alarm
rang by 6:05, I knew I was done for. My eyes were red and puffy. The bathroom
seemed like a hundred miles away. I dragged myself with invisible iron chains
on my feet.
I was late as
usual to the meeting. Someone else was late too, which made my conscience lighter.
I sat by my desk
and looked at the time.
Just seven more hours.
