Monday, July 27, 2009

I am now in my "thirties"...

Last year, I wrote this post when I turned thirty. I just read that post and I guess I knew even then, that a time for change had come. I did not spend my day reflecting or thinking about my life. I guess I did enough of that last year.

I spent the day with the only man that really loves me. I got a gold heart shaped key holder. He assured me that it was really gold and I told him it was the best present ever and that I will think of him everytime I opened my door. We ate water melon and the pie he said he baked, then he went off to climb a lamp post and I tried to wish my hangover away....

Afterwards, I went for dinner with a friend and then I went home and folded my clothes.

I did not do any damn reflection until this evening as I sat (by the way, its so fucking hard to write this damn post cos my computer has crashed and I am now using a friend's computer and the keyboard has been vandalised by their two year old baby so some letters are missing and the "enter" key...I am dying but this post shall be finished)on the train and felt the sharp pain in my chest subside.

The pain had been caused because I had been in the presence of some human beings who....how do I describe it???? Lets just say that I have no idea how they even tolerate being themselves...so instead of smiling and puting on a brave face like many people would do, I simply excused myself and left the company.

I guess that's the big change since last year. I really do not give a fuck. I do whatever I want to do, whenever. I mean, I have always been a free spirit but still, I have been known to sit through very uncomforatable situations just cos I did not want to inconvenience anybody...

Now...hehehehehehehe I don't even bother explaining shit anymore...I am just doing whatever...its so liberating...you can not imagine...

I don't cause myself any more discomfort because of others, especially not for penis people. I am so focused on my well being that even the slightest irritation gets my feet itching. I no longer have the time or energy to accept their long assed complicated stories...damn....

Yes, I am very impatient with men. Extremely impatient. They start talking and I just want to leave the vicinity. Usssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh!

I am enjoying this new me, no more desperate love, no more drama...everything is just as it should be. I am quite happy to be me these days. My confidence overwhelmes me and I have decided I am just too cool for men. I don't understand them and they don't understand me.

Yeah, its a liberating decision. Now that that is gone from my mind, I don't meet men (not ALL men I meet but those that seem to be something)anymore and think that desperate thought, "maybe he is the one", "what if he is the one", maybe I should give him a chance" etc, etc.

Or dreaming of the past...."what if"....

Now that I have decided that my path in life will be with myself...I feel greatly relieved. I don't know who else will understand me better than myself.I am enjoying my life and I am enjoying being me...

My life feels whole and complete...and I am happy- No need to spoil it with a penis.

Well, those are my thoughts for this year...no proverbs, no quotes, nothing. Just me.

Yeah, so I spent my day with a six year old and when he said "I love you waffy", I believed him...and thats what life is about-TRUTH.

Oh, yeah. I have also learnt that if you are always honest with yourself, you will never be on the wrong path. I will swear on that anyday. And when I mean honest, I mean in every single aspect of your life even silly minute details. Honesty is so cleansing for the soul...you just feel clean all the time...its great. It should be a religion or something...

Okay, enough of all that, before I start blabbing.

Hope you are all good.

Lots of love.

14 comments:

Toyin said...

I really admire your attitude towards life. It takes some folks a lifetime to achieve the level of self confidence which you have attained. It also takes some people a lifetime to realize that they have neglected their own happiness and have spent their whole lives pleasing others. I wish you a very happy birthday and many more years to come!

Mogaji said...

Duuuude you sound soooo high...

Mogaji said...

Oh and happy birthday

Patrice said...

Happy Birthday Waffarian!

So true about the honest path always being the right one! May your path be filled with pleasant surprises this year.

doll said...

nice

doll said...

happy bday btw

Rita said...

Happy Birthday in arrears...

Shubby Doo said...

happy belated birthday

mo'gbo mo'ya said...

hey waffarian,
first time reader equally first time commenting.
I feel you on this. The truth certainly will set you free.

SHE said...

Seems to me that you've come to terms with yourself.

Good for you!

StandTall-The Activist said...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR. DO I LOVE YOUR NEW ENERGY? O YES. DO I LOVE YOUR NEW RESOLUTIONS? VERY MUCH.

BE YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY DEAR

Adeleke Adesanya said...

"I don't understand them and they don't understand me."

At least we have an understanding. "At all, at all" will have been a different matter.

Listened to Verastic blog radio today and wondered how come being single is not an issue with most penis (read "men")

Adeleke Adesanya said...

But then, that was a year ago

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