SNOW! SNOW!! SNOW!!!

It's been snowing like crazy out here...and for some reason, anytime it snows, I have an intense urge for all things Nigerian. I have been dreaming of pounded yam, and recently I went really out of my way just cos I needed pepper so badly.I wonder if its because snow and snow storms remind me so much of home? You know, the fact that I am really not part of the snow culture? The funny part is I really do not mind the snow and the cold. I think its beautiful when I have the right clothing.

However, I can not find the box with my winter stuff...so I do not have the right winter boots for such extreme winter conditions. Meanwhile, no buses are coming up here cos of the conditions so I have been treking...and like I said, seems I can't trek in the snow without listening to Nigerian Music. My usual snow treking music is Oliver de coque but I recently heard Ikechukwu's "now is the time" and I really like it!

I miss my Daddy so much...I am sure he sees me looking like a mad woman with snow up to her knees while listening to Oliver De Coque and says..."now that, is my daughter"...I think he sees me...and misses me too.

Yesterday...

Hello sweetie,

How are you? I hope you are good. Yesterday, I wandered into "your" shop, you know, the one you always like going into...the one I always hated going into...I did not think of you while I was there. Not at all. I thought of just how boring this shop was and wondered why on earth men were moving from aisle to aisle looking like they were having the time of their lives.

I went back home. I started to do the dishes and all of a sudden I felt tears on my cheeks and then I was crying...

It is hard to acknowledge that I miss you, but I do. I wonder sometimes if you are thinking about me, I wonder why things are the way they are...

Sometimes, I wish I had never met you so the pain of leaving you would never exist. Sometimes I wish that night had never been, that night when you first came into my life...Oh God! We were so young...where did the time go?

Its been so many years now...I am thirty! Thirty, imagine! We were going to do so many things together...We were gonna buy a big house, have plenty of children, go on summer vacations, have a dog, have a cat, get a pension plan, have a farm, grow old together....

and we almost did it all, didn't we? We were almost there...now I don't know what I am going to do without you...

We grew up together...

I miss you so much and I wish things are not the way they are but we must accept the truth, no matter how hard it is.

Letting you go is the hardest thing I have ever had to do...

Think of all the good times, think of the laughter, think of the love, think of US... we did give it our best...we gave all we had...I guess it was just not enough.

You have been my best friend for so long...and I do miss you so!

Thats all I wanted to let you know, that I miss you.

Love always,
me


Note: not written yesterday...but reading it makes me cry...