Thursday, May 19, 2016

I'm hot on trains...

Believe or not, nobody ever tries to pick me up in bars, clubs, concerts, parties, etc. Never. Nobody even notices me but trains? I am hot like fire!

Guys stare at me, smile, the bolder ones try to chat me up, etc. And what is it I do on trains that make me so irresistible? Most times I am asleep because I am always very tired. If I am not asleep, I am reading a book or day dreaming.

So yesterday another guy tried to chat me up. Background: I have seen him a couple of times staring at me and once this made me so uncomfortable that I changed my seats. Another time, he came off the train before me and he kept looking back from time to time to see where I was. In my own dramatic mind, I decided he was a drug dealer and maybe because he has seen me so many times on the train he now suspects I am an undercover police following him(yes, that's the kind of shit my mind can come up with. He couldn't just be waiting for someone or as it now seems, waiting for me). Anyway, he kept looking back and in the end I decided to duck into a shop to avoid him and his eyes.

Then, yesterday.

I am sitting quietly in my corner, staring out the window when I see him enter the train. He comes in and at first passes by but then all of a sudden does a double take when he sees me. In my mind I am like "shit!!!"

"Hello" he says sitting opposite me.

"Hi" I reply

"I have seen you many times on this train. Do you live here?"


"My name is Charles, where are you from?"

(Oh Gosh! he wants to chat...this is gonna be a long ride)

"Nigeria. And you?"

"Mauritius" he replies

"Tu parles francais?"

"Qui!" and here, he rattles off in French.

"Yeah, I don't speak French, I just wanted to know if you do"

Now he is starring at me like I am crazy

"Why?" he asks

"Well, cos I heard you on the phone the other day and I thought you were Eritrean"

 Here, he goes into a very long monologue about his whole life. How he came here, he was once a refugee then he married, then he had a daughter, now he is divorced, hasn't been with a woman in four years, his ex and kid are now in France, bla bla bla bla.

I did not tell him anything about myself.

He kept on opening and closing his legs in rapid motions which was starting to make me nervous.

"Are you nervous?" I ask

"No I am not, its just a bad habit" he said.

Now his cheap perfume was beginning to suffocate me. Where do people buy this shit from? Lord Almighty!

Finally his stop arrived.

By this time I was getting irritated by the big pimple on his nose.

Thank you Jesus.

I slept off immediately. 


Patrice said...

Nobody even notices me but trains? I am hot like fire!
Must be your caboose.

Same old Waffarian!

Hữu Tú Trương said...

Nice blog !!!
thanks for sharing
thiet ke noi that chung cu dep
thi cong noi that chung cu
Kien truc nha vui
Xay dung nha vui
Cong ty nha vui