In this shitty world...my displeasure with planet earth and all its inhabitants continues...
Unfortunately, I dont have any words to describe just how I feel at the moment but think exile, alienated, dislocated, detached, etc, you know, every post colonial shit out there and I am it.
It has finally dawned on me that it might be time to get the hell out of this country.
Certainly I can't think of LIVING in Nigeria? I'll go nuts there as well...I love my anonymous lifestyle too much. Just the thought of how many people I have to call "sir, madam, aunty, uncle", the thought of all the people I would have to smile at, ask about their families, make small conversation...just the thought of having to explain just why I think "hubby", "sweetheart" (or is it sweetie?) "darling" is never gonna happen in my life, makes me wanna puke (Been there, done that, all penises should please shrivel up and fall off like rotten grapes...mind you, my current unhappiness is not caused by a penis, cos many a penis would love to think that they can wreck havoc on the lives of women. Not so. A penis is exactly what it is, just a damn penis).
I dont know what to do but the fact of life is that I have no friends here, no family....nothing.
I am leaving this shit place...God, I am suffocating!