The time was 5:45...

and it was still dark. I had to get to the train station and there were only two possibilities. Walk through the "short cut" or walk through the long way round. Both were equally depressing. I live on top of some sort of hill. When I got this apartment, I was desperate and the fact that it was a bit far from the city did not deter me. I was desperate. I mean, it was described as one of those new environmental friendly buildings...I could learn to sort my thrash, I thought. Sorting coloured bottles from white can be a bit tasking...but I could learn. On a hill? a small hill? Not so bad, the exercise will do me good. Near the woods? Thats okay too, perhaps nature will help in healing my broken heart.

Now it is 5:45 and it is dark, and my two options are depressing. The first one, my short cut...cut in the middle of a forest, it is a path which is meant for only pedestrians. In the summer, I enjoyed walking through it but now it is winter, and these days, I see all kinds of nollywood figures lurking about. The second option is not so bad, I basically have to walk down the road the bus uses...but is is dark and quite lonesome....and the sidewalk is right beside the forest, which means, I have to walk right in the middle of the road, which I often do.

My problem with this forest/woods business started after I saw one of those reconstructed real life criminal files or whatever they are called.

Basically, for 8 years, a rapist went crazy in a small town.He would not only brutally rape the women, but he would beat them up as well. He was just a nasty human being.

Now, here is the begining of the reconstruction I watched...

There is an empty road, a bit foggy...and then, all of a sudden, you see a fence, and a man jumping over it. Then he walks to the empty road and just stands there, right in the middle...then a car slowly drives up...he walks to it, opens the door and enters. Apparently, its his wife picking him up.


(Now, why is it that people in small towns, always have to pick up friends and acquaintances in obscure locations? Why can't they just pick them up in front of the town hall, or church, or local pub or whatever it is that they have there? But no, I am sure this is how the conversation goes when they need to pick up someone...

"Should I pick you up at Carl's?"

"Isn't that a long way off for you?"

"Yes it is"

"What if I walk across Larry's farm, then jump over the fence of that huge wasteland and then you pick me up on that closed road that we used to play when we were kids?"

"Oh yeah, I know it. Thats much better, I will meet you there then. Right beside the lake where Elizabeth almost drowned the summer we were in scout camp")

Then the car drives off...and he is in bed, images of what he has done just keeps flashing...a woman screaming for all she is worth, he drags her by the hair, from a path beside the woods...it is not even concealed, quite open, he keeps punching her in the face and when she is all bloody and messed up, he starts raping her...she screams and screams...

I just can't get that image out of my head, the sidewalk...the path...forest...middle of road...

And standing by the bus station is just as bad. I have never met anybody going to work at that time.

I don't even want to tell you how bad it is when I get home late at night. I now walk from side to side...like I have something between my legs. I pretend that I am a man.Ussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssscccccccccccch!