With this beautiful weather has come my companion, insomnia. Even though I actually try to do lots of stuff during the day so I can be really tired when I get home, still, all night, I toss and turn until I finally give up and just sit up.
Yesterday, I tried everything possible (except sleeping pills) but nothing worked. If this keeps up, my brain is going to reverse back to its usual destructive tendencies...
However, I am grateful for many things this week. I have been admiring myself this week. In fact, I am in awe of myself. When I think about how strong I have been this year, facing up to stuff and really trying my best despite all my crap,(emotional baggage, insomnia, past, mind always on fast foward, worry about future, sensitivity, dreadful migraines etc) I can't help but feel quite happy and grateful that I am who I am.
I am not perfect but I wouldnt want to be anybody else.
The only thing I need to do is perhaps socialize more. But I am really trying my best. And later, I will be with my family so its not so bad. That will make up for these days of being totally alone.
Yep, I just have to keep going...is there any other alternative?