I did what I always did when I got scared. Pretended that I was part of a documentary movie and somebody was right there with me, watching every cowardly move I might take. Other people know Jesus is with them and say his name over and over again but what do I do? I pretend I am in a movie and very soon I will be at the bus stop and then I don't have to pretend anymore.
I don't know why I had left earlier than usual, I knew I would have to wait for ten minutes but I did not want to be late and miss the bus. The earlier the better. I went into the metro station. It was dead. The ticket collector(or operator or whatever her official title is) was trying to get the automatic doors to close. They were open all the time now, perhaps made useless by the freezing temperatures. I did not blame her for trying even though I could see it was a hopeless case. The wind was biting and being totally evil. I could hardly feel my cheeks or lips or nose. I could feel the hairs in my nose freeze...four more minutes.
A train arrived. People came rushing out, running to the bus stop. Dumb asses, you have four minutes. Whats the hurry? To stand there and feel your nose hair freeze?
One minute left.
I walked back to the bus stop. The people there looked like they all hated each other. Good. I hate you all too, I felt like saying. You hate me, I hate you.
The bus crawled in. I said hi to the driver, as usual, nobody else had said any form of greeting. No wonder I hated them, impolite human beings.
A man looked up at me alarmingly when I entered and started smiling. Nothing funny here, stranger. Mind your own cold business.
Jogged to my building. Got in the lift. Looked at myself in the mirror. What a fucking mess! Whatever I had on my head looked like a huge white cone. Jesus. No wonder that man had looked at me with alarm. He was right to smile. I looked like somebody that had just stepped off a space ship.