Friday?

Yesterday I fell asleep with all my clothes on.

This week has gone by so fast.

This song always makes me feel good and need some energy to get through this morning.

Shower, breakfast and out.

I will spoil myself with some wine or something this evening. I totally deserve it.

I also need to find a new novel for the weekend. Any suggestions?

Can't get enough....

It must be the sun.

It must be the vitamin C.

It must be.

What can it be?

I am in such good spirits!

I swear I love everything and everybody these days...

I am incredibly busy. That must be it. I am too busy to dwell on my usual existentialist thoughts. Farmers must really be enjoying life. An idle hand is the devil's workshop! ha ha ha ha...from now on I will always be super busy from morning till night.

Gats to go.

Love to all.

Sunday...

I am in great spirits!

Hope you are all good. I have got to get breakfast, men.

I had such a good day yesterday. A wonderful day.

Saturday...

I love it, love it, love it.

I have a book to read, and so much writing to do but its okay. Life is not bad at all.

Okay, time for a walk and coffee. Yipeeeeeeeeee! Isn't that just plain luxury huh?

What else can one want in life?

Help Me Make It Through The Night....

Chasing the sun...

Anybody else feeling summer around the corner?

Time to find new songs...if anybody has some tips, feel free to share. Anything light, coconutty, breezy, etc.

Yesterday I chased the sun.


It was a beautiful day. My stockings kept creeping down my legs. I was forced to buy a new one in a shop, then I went to a fancy shopping mall and changed in the toilet. I pretended I was a spy. I almost wished I had a wig.

Then I bought a hotdog and sat in a park and read until the sun went down.

When I got home I was so exhausted. All day all I did was try to find spots that were sunny. It was no easy feat. Every time I crossed to one part of the street, the sun went to another.

Its weird how the first summers without him I felt strange being on my own, doing my things...and now...I look forward to doing my usual things. There is no longer a cloud of melancholy over my bicycle rides, my swimming, my long walks, my dozing on the grass...now I just think of how lucky I am to be able to do all the things I love doing.

I don't even know anymore when I am alone or not...I am my own company. I catch myself laughing at my own jokes and smiling when I am sitting on the bus or train.

I can't describe it but the best I can say is I don't feel "lonely". I am alone but not lonely.

In fact, when people come around, they disturb my groove...ha ha ha...I just want them to go away so I can get back to my own thing.

Which reminds me, I was gonna get a drink before the nearby restaurant closes. Perhaps its already closed.

I wondered if I'd ever heal again...

I miss Nigeria...

I miss the smell

I miss the earth

I miss the smell of rain on the earth

I miss my father

I miss Nigeria.

Pigs...

I was sitting quietly by myself reading my book when three foreign students come in. One sits beside me, the Chinese guy. The other two take the two seats in front of me. A french guy and a Japanese guy(with an American accent, I guess he must have studied there cos his English was not great but he had a distinct American accent).

Anyway, from the moment they entered, the whole bus began to stink of alcohol. They entered and then greeted another guy who was sitting with his girlfriend. Made small chat with him and then proceeded to take their places in my zone.

Basically this was the level of conversation for most of the journey...

"You know what we should do? We should go and drink and play pool"

"Yes, definitely" (the Chinese guy always agreed with every suggestion with "yes definitely" or "Of course")

"You know? we should go fishing" (suggestion from French guy with terrible accent)

"Yes definitely!"

"We should play chess...yesterday was so much fun...I had a huge glass of whiskey and big joint and he (referring to Chinese guy) had liters of beer and we were just playing Chess"

"Yes, we should play chess"

"Do you play Badminton?" (Japanese guy to Chinese guy)

"Yes, we should play Badminton!"

Anyway, basically this was the level and then...

"Those English girls last night were big bitches" (French guy)

"Yes, they were bitches"

Of course, now I am listening...

Then they proceed to have a stupid conversation about how they had been out the night before with some girls and why exactly were they bitches? cos none of them got laid!

"Really big bitches..."

But this is not why there are pigs, all of a sudden, the conversation changes to the guy and his girlfriend they had greeted when they first walked in...

"He is such a nice guy, the girlfriend is French...you know so easy going" (French guy)
"Yeah, he looks easy going" (Japanese guy)

"Really great guy to hang around with, you know down for whatever, very nice...just goes with the flow, like whatever"

"Yeah...cool"

"So should I send her the message now?"

"But wait...what exactly is your objective?" (I swear he used this word "objective"...lol...if English is not your mother tongue, stuff like this always gives you away...)

"My objective? the objective is to fuck her"

"So, you just want to fuck, right? not like you like her or..."

"No, no, just you know, just to fuck...nothing else..."

"Don't send her the text now, you know the boyfriend is right there so she will not answer...wait when she is alone"

"Yeah, yeah, you are right..."

At this point, I am seeing that they are looking at the other guy and his girlfriend but I seriously don't want to believe that they are talking about the same people because that will just destroy all my hope for humanity...

But then...the guy who is with his girlfriend, gets off at one of the stops, says goodbye to his girlfriend and greets these three idiots on his way out...


"Yeah"
"Alright, man!"
"See you later!"

(Laughter all around...)

Now the girl is sitting alone.

"Okay, now I will go and sit and chat with her" (french guy)

"Yeah, yeah" (all round encouragement)

I am still hoping somewhere inside that its not that girl...please let it be someone else...

The french guy goes straight to the vacated boyfriend's seat...and I mean, the seat must have still been warm from the boyfriend...

I don't know if I have ever been more disgusted in my entire life.

I gave them the longest "hiss" possible in the history of mankind and "eyed" them as disgustingly as I could as I got off the bus. I did not want to do more cos since they are on my route, chances are I will run into them often and these are the kind of guys that will just insult you from head to toe without blinking...before next time they see me, it will be "see that big bitch" "yes, the big bitch"

Men are pigs.

If you're tired just sleep it off...

Yep.

Baff, (shower) eat and sleep. Motto for today.

Happy Weekend!

Thinking positive.

Sending love to all.

Going to send a package, then for a walk and then library. Shit, I better get on the move, it closes early today and I need some books. I am on the line for a book that is never gonna be returned it seems...greedy people.

Yesterday I ate beans and garri! You won't believe the childhood memories that sprung up as I ate.

I liked beans and yam. It was great. Beans, yam and meat all mixed up like porridge. Really heavy but quite satisfying.

Maybe I should buy some hot pepper today and make stew?

Yeah, I 'll do that.