Home- Near, far and everything in between.

I know the system, I get off the plane and I fit in with my jeans and trainers, I look back at the overdressed Nigerians, in pumps, gold necklaces, white suits, their Sunday best...they are traveling abroad. I look back and laugh as I casually fit in with the backpackers in sandals, looking for the next gate. This is why you should wear something comfortable so you can jog to the next gate and also in case the plane crashes. I walk out of the plane, I know no one is waiting for me. At the corner of my eye I see a placard "welcome home Pablo", fuck Pablo. I walk briskly to the ticket machine and buy my ticket. Everything works. I know this place. I am certain of everything but what am I doing here?

The silence, the peace, no loudspeakers warnings about "thunder and fire" and the end of the time. Its peaceful. My life is peaceful, everything works here you know. It fucking functions!!!

But...but...over there, where the trees are green, they are so green, and the smell of the earth, it smells of rain... there...people call and ask "where you dey?" people invite me for naming ceremonies, dedications, marriages, birthday parties, thanksgiving ceremonies, "get-together"s. You go for a party and as you leave, you get an invitation to another. There is a never ending circle of parties and functions.

I dump my suitcases on the floor of my bedroom. I lie down on my bed. What the fuck am I doing here?

My skin is back to normal, no more bubbles of sweat and the constant wet skin. No more sneezing and watery eyes. No dust. My network connection is the fastest it can be. Come on, what do you expect?

I look through my phone...The pain had returned. That sharp pain that left my chest as the plane landed in Warri  had returned again. Shit! Does it only disappear in Africa? Crap.

I decide to go for a walk. It is hot and nobody is smiling or waving at me. Nobody stops me on the road to ask "how is your mother?", I get to the shop with no interruptions.  I buy "cherry coke" and return to my apartment. I stare at the ceiling.

But I am telling you, things work here. There is constant light, the water...its the best in the world, straight from the tap, there are no potholes on the road, look, I left my bicycle out all winter and now its summer, its still there. You can't understand it. You can't.

I am far, I am near, I am no where.