Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Ego and man

I know what pride is, many times I have seen the proud faces of men, many times i have thrown away my pride for dreams and fantasies. I know what pride is. Through out my life, I have seen pride take people to places, high or low, I have seen pride do its work. However, I really do not know much about ego.Is it possible for one to have so much ego that you become almost disillusional? You see things that are not really there, believe in your own importance more than anybody else? I am fascinated with this topic. When does the ego of man become fatal? I do believe that if you believe in yourself, envision yourself as what you want to be,then that is only right in this world where confidence is a vital ingredient to survive. On the other hand, what if you envision yourself as someone you are not? what if you believe yourself to be so important and tell others lies in other to support an image that does not exist? How far does one have to go before being called a liar? When does the ego of man change from being "confident, arrogant" to being a "fake, liar"? Can anyone recommend books on this topic? I won't mind psychology or philosophy, I just want to get some knowledge.

13 comments:

catwalq said...

Ego is born out of vanity, lust and attachment.
When you seek attention, eventually everything you do is geared towards the attainment of that and you become attached to the accolades and "benefits" that come with such a position.
Ego breeds arrogance and indifference. That is why most egotistical people can watch someone else in pain or need and feel absolutely no compassion because in their minds, they feel that such a thing CAN NEVER happen to THEM. It is beneath THEM.

Waffarian said...

Hmmmmm, catwalq, very well said, "attention seeking", "vanity", "benefits".....you've got me thinking.

A man who does a good thing expecting no reward for his actions vs a man who does "something" and then shouts and proclaims it far and wide so others can sing his praises....

Idemili said...

Also how can one go about telling such people, or convincing such people they are not as important as they think they are? Denial is a powerful thing.

Afrobabe said...

How does one tell them the lies are not only obvious but also stupid?

IJEOMA said...

WHEN I FIRST SAW EGO.. I ACTUALLY THOUGHT.. YOU MEANT EGO? AS IN MONEY. OKORO WOMAN LIKE ME..

ANYWAY.. A HEALTHY EGO IS NEVER A BAD THING.. TOO MUCH OF IT.. HOWEVER IS DEADLY..
HAVING SAID THAT... ITS HARD TO DEMARCATE WHERE EGO CEASES TO BE HEALTHY..

THIS IS ACTUALLY A HARD QUESTION..

Ugo Daniels said...

Your posts these days are getting too philosophical. Well, i guess that's ok.

You see, there's something in human beings, i don't wanna use man here, cos it swings both ways, that makes us prone to some unethical, illogical, untenable and totally preposterous dispositions. Am i sounding too grammatical? ok, lemme break it down.

Everyone of us has some level of ego, poise, pride. Some know how to use them well. Others don't. The party that doesn't know how to use them well will in turn manipulate, fabricate, concoct, contrive and structure a non-existent personality inorder to achieve one thing or the other.

In answering your question on how far can one go before being labelled a liar. It all lies in the person's disposition at the moment or if and when he's found to be lying. Sonner or later, it happens. Some people are so skilful in the act that they virtually succeed in hoodwinking innocent peeps, twisting and thwarting their life to fit in with their already professed lifestyle or personality.

I call such people cowards. They are the lowliest of them all. I can understand if one is exhibiting certain 'unnormal' tendencies in certain circles, probably something that's a matter of life and death.

Personal ego is good when aplied in the necesasry areas, like in having a penchant to succeed. Those who succeed have a certain type of mind. While it is true that they have ambition, vision and driving power, capacity for work, and a strong will, they also seize each opportunity when it comes. They are always willing and ready.

Such cannot be said for the kind of a figure you wrote about. The subject matter's ego is geared towards the wrong moves. He has lost touch with the realities of life that nothing under the sun can remain hidden for long. In his quest to become that which he's not, he has left himself unguarded and fallen headlong into the abyss of hatred and ridicule.

Sorry about the LONG COMMENT. I just happen to be in one of those moods. Cheers!

Waffarian said...

@ idemili: ah! it is the usual case of "do you know who i am?", they would never believe that there are actually people out there that have no knowledge of their existence....no, i don't think there is a way to "break" that kind of news to them!

@afrobabe: ah! the funny thing is these kind of people underestimate the intelligence of others, so in their minds, they do not think that others are intelligent enough to see through their lies......

@ijeoma: that is the problem....I hope others get in on the discussion!

@Ugo: Life is a journey of lessons.... I am sorry I am getting too philosophical, but you know, when one makes mistakes in life, I do believe it is better to learn from them. I have made plenty of mistakes and I would hate to repeat them in life again. It was not fun.

Something I realised is that I could not distinguish between a "healthy arrogance" and a "white lie". It was a very psychological thing, and I wonder, if it was just me that was vulnerable or if anybody could have made such a mistake....

Jaja said...

there, definitely, is a new depth and sensitivity to your writting these days.. i sort of sucks me in... I like.

i ll paste the catalouge of books i can find for u...
cheers

Anonymous said...

hehehehe...baby take it! i know a man just like that,wait! come to think of it,i think i know four men just like that.hmmmm all nigerian! disillusional psychos!
holla l8r.

Sparkle said...

The truth is that while men, in our society, are encouraged to have strong egos and to function in competitive, aggressive, intellectualized modes that may indeed cause them pain, for most women the ego is like a fragile African Violet, grown in secret from a seed, carefully nursed and fertilized and sheltered from too much sun.

Idemili said...

@Ijeoma: Hahahhahahhahahahha! You will kill me, you Igbo woman. LAWL.

kramer said...

An amount of ego can be an advantage and in alot of cases necessary to achieve success, but when it causes you to loose touch with reality... that can be really dangerous.
Even ancient greek philosophers have pondered this subject and came up with good theories. Im sure u could find some books on this in the library.
My theory is men with big egos usually have small you know whats - correct me if Im wrong hehehehe.

Waffarian said...

@jaja, glad you like the new me, I miss the old me though!

@anonymous, Thank God, I thought it was only me!

@sparkle, good point!

@Kramer, a lady never tells......