When a female fires back
suddenly target don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy would do
Makin' up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
- From Christina Aguilera's "can't hold us down"
A lot of things happened last week that brought up a topic that I have thought about ever so often. I am sure we have all read by now the slimy details of the obj divorce. When I read all the accusations being pelted out by her husband, to say the truth, I was not shocked. Why? Well, I have come to the conclusion that a lot of Nigerian men are petty: PETTY.
Let me explain. I remember even back then in secondary school, I was always baffled by the fact about how easy a young boy would confidently call an ex girlfriend "a prostitute". I have an older brother, so my teenage years were spent hanging out in his room listening to their escapades. Many times, I listened with annoyance as the so called ex boyfriend would tell his guys intimate details of his relationship and ofcourse reveal secrets the once "love of his life" told him in confidence. I have watched that scenario unfold many times as a teenager and I have always thought it was because they were young and did not know any better. Since then, I now have reasons to believe that a lot of Nigerian men act like immature fools the moment things do not go the way they want. Here are some examples I have witnessed, no be say anybody tell me oh!
Case 1: Boy and girl had been going out for a while, guy decides to break it off, girl agrees, they go their seperate ways. A couple of months later, boy decides he has made a mistake and wants girl back, but by then, girl has moved on and she tells him that. One day, Boy sees girl taking a walk with another man, he is enraged. He confronts her at her home and immediately opens his mouth where words like "ashawo" and "prostitute" flowed abundantly from. He shouted on the streets of London like an agbero, and if I was not there to witness this firsthand, I would never have believed that this gentleman, who was always so well dressed in suits and ties could have such a market behavior. He has since apologized, but it is too late to erase that image from my head.
Case 2: Guy and girl have a relationship, I saw the love unfold before my very eyes. Girl catches boy cheating. Relationship ends. I met the guy a couple of months later, when I asked why the relationship had ended; he began to disclose a lot of personal details about the woman. He never told me the real reason i.e. that he was caught cheating, but instead spent more than an hour insulting the woman. He had become an agbero over night.
Case 3: Boy and girl meet, have a relationship, things do not go well, they have different morals and principles in life. Relationship ends amicably, (or so she thought). Fast forward a couple of months and the city is ripe with all sorts of rumors. In this case, the guy came up with the most unbelievable lies and stories. I was embarrassed for his sake.
These are just three examples, but over the last couple of days, I have been discussing this topic with many of my friends in Nigeria and abroad. They have all had at least one boyfriend that either insulted them or made up stories after the relationship ended.
Have you ever had an ex that turned to an agbero after the relationship ended?
Do you think "being petty" is a common trait in Nigerian men?
Notice: This post does not in anyway support Moji, this is just a general observation that her case brought to light.