Monday, June 14, 2010


I was busy minding my business online, replying mails and clicking on links when someone began to chat with me. I say "someone" cos I dont consider the person a friend, acquintance or anything. He happened to have gone to the same school with me and therefore, he is on my page. No big deal. I am usually polite enough to say hi back if I am online. Also, if I have time and I am not so busy, I don't mind chatting a bit. However, these days, even when I am online, I do not really have that kind of time anymore cos I always have so much to do when I am on my computer.

But back to the story: I am online, minding my business. This guys starts chatting with me. For some reason, I am quite sure I have had that same conversation with him before. I am almost 90% sure of it. Its the usual start up conversation, how are you? where are you? what do you do? etc etc, you know the drill. Anyway, as usual (as is with all Nigerian conversations with ANYBODY at all, somehow, no matter how you steer the conversation, the fact that you are 31, a woman and not yet married causes everybody great stress in their own lives) the conversation gets to the part where I do not have a husband....


Now, I let him say whatever he wanted to say. Truth is, I was not really interested cos I dont even know this person in the first place, so whatever.

Then, he gets to the part where he says that all one can do is pray to God for a partner, etc, you know, the usual.

I then make a comment, which was simply "thats assuming one wants a partner"

(I am so sick of people putting their own life values on me. Why would anyone make an assumption like that? What if, I do not want a partner cos I only have six months to live and might die anytime? What if I just lost a husband? What if, I just had an accident and my legs just got cut? After all, he knows NOTHING about my life...what if I am a lesbian? Come on!)

Back to the story... so, I make this comment,"thats assuming one wants a partner", and then he says that so he takes it that I am not interested in having a partner.

and then he asks:


Now, I had to look at the question again and calm myself cos I was ready to explode! First, let us analyse this irritating bullshit question...

Now, the fact that he asks me this question just because I make a general comment about his "assumptions" reveals his way of thinking...

a) Because I do not have a partner, that means I am looking for something in life.
b) Because I do not have a partner, must mean that I want something in life (which of course, I am yet to find)
c) All those that are now married, must have found the meaning of life. Therefore, they search no more. They now know what they want.

Okay, lets forget about the stupidity of his reasoning...even thinking about this kind of reasoning irritates the hell out of me...lets go to the best part.

Now, lets say, really, I am thinking about what I really want in life, why the hell would I tell somebody that I hardly know?

a) He is not my closest friend that I just got drunk with and now we are talking about "deep" stuff.
b) He is not a psychiatrist that I went to for help in finding out the meaning of life.
c) I am not in church or any other religious gathering where ministers enjoy asking such "fundamental" shit...
d) AM I ON OPRAH????

Anyway, after all these thoughts raced through my mind in perhaps two or three seconds, all I said to him was that since he did not know me, I did not think such a question was appropraite since I did not ask for any kind of help. Secondly, such a question was not for him to ask me, but for me to ask myself, thats assuming I am "wanting" something in life...

But the best part is this:

Men really have such huge fucking egos. Why the hell does he think he can ask me, such a question?....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

Now, I am done.


Tisha said...

you don't have to answer any question you don't want to answer

just shut him out or say NO...

i am fiercely independent
i answer to no one except God

Akin said...

Hello Waffarian,

Just how I would love to see you on Oprah giving it as you have here.

Yes, we meet them all, online busybodies who think they know what is best for us and expect we acquiesce to all their views because we are victims in need of sympathetic succour.

Give them the heave ho, polite put-down hardly ever suffice - time to just say - Mind your own business.

I feel you, deeply.


Longsufferer said...

For the last time remove this person from facebook. He is clearly one of those dim witted pple that like to feel Madam, 'de-friend him'from facebook. Either that or for entertainment ask him to go 'put where the sun don't shine'. Where the hell do pple get off judging and assuming they know squat abt pple (anger mgt I knw) so for the last time REMOVE HIM, cos if u complain again, I will come flog u like they flog us in secondary ya loads and love u lots!!!

Jaycee said...

I always show as "offline" on my facebook chat. In fact, I don't do chats, period. Time wasters.

Emails, Twitter, and merely updating my FB status are already big time consumers in my life.

Myne Whitman said...

You even spent too much time with him. When I am in the mood, I turn such questions around. Yes ke....

2cute4u said...

Mscheeeew, These are the kind of people you want to 'dash' one slap!
I just ignore those set of human beings.. Jump and pass jare!

SHE said...

"What really do you want in life?"

Somehow, I find your analysis sooo funny!

mizchif said...


Yeye man!

londonbobo said...

What has him asking a stupid question have to do with him being a man?

There are men and women too who ask stupid questions.

I'm sure female aquaintances of yours may ask you the same if they are like him. Or may be they are subter which might mean beter pretenders and masquraders.

Ok, I like people asking me deep stuff like that. I ask them if they really want to smell my fart? Seriously I do. I also inform them it smells like sawad egusi.

Where are you holidaying?

UnNaked Soul said...

the best answer to some question na "hen?"