Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Lonely soldier...

I could not stop crying today.

I was supposed to have an eye operation today and it was cancelled at the last minute cos they suddenly decided it did not need to be done after all. I was lying on the table and all...

I don't know why it affected me so badly. I had not slept the whole night yesterday because I was very nervous and summoned all my courage just to wake up today and go there.

Long story cut short, (lots of medical reasons I can't be bothered to get into now), they decided that it would be best to wait.

I got in some sort of panic. I was given something to calm me down. I was okay again.

My friend E came to pick me up. I cried when he came. Then it was okay again. We went for coffee, lunch, I was back to myself.

He dropped me off at home, I started crying again. On his way he called and heard my voice so he turned back and stayed with me a bit to calm me down. It worked. He left.

I wanted to watch some TV, I could not.

Went to bed and then the fucking tears would not stop. I cried and cried. Slept off.

Woke up, ate something, thinking of cooking...

and now I feel like crying again...

It just wont stop. I am incredibly sad.

 Everything is wrong. I feel alone.

I feel fucking pathetic.

2 comments:

Patrice said...

You've been so happy here of late. What triggered the sadness?

Waffarian said...

@Patrice: Wish I knew...it can be post traumatic...i was more stressed about the thing than I wanted to show...

But I am good now.