Monday, April 23, 2007

To continue the story.......

Now, about my bicycle. As an adult, I have always had a romantic idea of me riding a bicycle. For years, I thought about it, I could see myself, riding downhill, my hair flying in the wind, wearing a "flower patterned" dress, a small basket in front, in it, a baguette, wild flowers, a novel, a bottle of red wine, sandals on my feet, (think Europe, after WW2, navy uniforms, cobbled roads, etc), yes, thats the image I had of my self. For years, I thought about it and finally two years ago, i summoned up courage and walked into a bicycle shop. The shop was full with all sorts of bicycles, all kinds, I had no idea, and the prices! Good Lord! I just want to ride in the wind,is it that expensive? such a simple pleasure? I found the bike I wanted, it was cheap and red, plus, I could get a basket if I wanted! All was going well untill........

Shopman: So, which helmet do you want?

Helmet! helmet! Did he just say helmet? I don't want a fucking helmet! I want my hair to fly in the wind! Well, after this wonderful man narrated the scariest stories about bicycle accidents and how helmets are important, and also, there is a law that says all cyclists should have helmets, infact, there is talk of police stopping cyclists that don't wear one........ehnnnnnnnnn, did he just say police?

Yes, I got the damn helmet, a blue one. The one that could take the strongest "impact" or whatever bullshit he was talking about. I was again about to leave, when

Shopman: Don't you need a lock?

A lock? I don't want one! I want to be able to dash in and out of bakeries and flower shops at will, my bicycle carelessly leaning on a wall!Anyway, I phoned my friend Maria who works in a shop where they sell all sorts of locks and stuff, she said they had a special price for "bicycle locks", well, I might as well get it, told her to get one for me, went to pick it up the next day........

Me: ehnnnnn, Maria, what is this?

Maria: Well, I got you a special one, this is originally for "scooters", but i thought it will be perfect for you, you'll see, when you have this, nobody will even dare to steal it!

Basically, it was a huge "chain" with a mighty padlock! Thus, my dear people, I can often be seen riding my bicycle with a blue helmet and a mighty chain which i have padlocked to the back of my bicycle. I am yet to get a basket and I don't think I will, the helmet and chain just does not fit into my "hair in the wind" fantasy!

25 comments:

omo-obanta said...

Am I the first?
LOL, its amazing how life spoils fantasy, me, my hair refused to fly i n the wind unless i throw it...lol

chidi said...

yeah i agree wid omo-banta. i've always wanted my hair to fly in the wind but it never works. thats why i always have braids on. So it can fly in the winds lol

Surviving with Truth said...

lmfao!
i'm in a study hall, suppose to be studying but thought to stop here for a minute. i'm here alone so u can imagine the look on everyone's face when i stated to laugh so hard-
u guys have jokes o
lol @ "did he just say police"
and "my hair refuses to fly in the wind unless i throw it"

u ppl are so funny

kramer said...

Eya, girl, you were dreaming in the wrong decade. Yes, I can see that image, Europe just before WW2... then there was no need for helmets and locks. Well your fantasy may be ideal in Naija except there even with the strongest lock they will find a way to carry the thing.LOL.I too am seriously considering purchasing a 'bike' my fantasy is that i`ll have killer thighs afterwards.LOL

Kpakpando said...

reconciling the dreams with reality can be a bit sobering abi, even if its just about riding a bicycle. Mya I suggest modifying your dream to include hair flying from beneath the helmet and bike lazily leaning against the wall of your bakey with a pretty chain and lock securing its future in your life :D

laspapi said...

I think you were born out of your time. flower-patterned dress? hair flying? cobble stones?
I have a dream like that too, but this one has me and a special person on my arm on a gas-lamp lit road as we hurry home at twilight in the autumn or early winter. Life can be beautiful.

pink gloves said...

i got a pink and white cruiser whit pink flowers on it. My hair flies in the wind, and so do my skirts. No helmet for me. I ride free as a brid, and i got one of the old school bells and basket too.

LondonBuki said...

LOL!!!

Pele but thank God you have a helmet, one day I flew off my bike (years ago) and luckily landed on my legs after somersaulting 360 degrees... it could have been my head o!

Nyemoni said...

Lmao, what a wonderful idea... If you do need you hair to fly in the wind, all you need do is get a pack of extra long hair extensions...that should do the trick! Good luck! ;-)

omohemi Benson said...

First is your hair long enough to fly in the wind?
look waffarian, you still make your dream come true. All you need is a electric standing fan,a painting and a photographer, You will pose behind the painting of the pictures of flowers and whatever else you like,put on your wig or real long hair(if u have),put on the fan to blow your hair, let the photographer capture the moment.
Frame the picture and there is your fantasy.

Pink-satin said...

lol

uknaija said...

Where do we get these dreams from?

UnNaked Soul said...

LOL... that's such a sweet fantasy... don't stop there oh, JUST DO IT like NIKE and you'll be LOVING IT like McDonald's.... *wink*

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

reality bites

kramer said...

Waffy, abeg consider Omohemis solution! And I`ll want a copy of that picture. Infact let me the one who takes the photo. Hahaha. It would be very original.

catwalq said...

Bicycle and i are seperated for the time being.
So, I am an architecture student and that calls for late nights etc.
A classmate brought his bike to the studio and between 3 am and 5 am (depending on how alert he is) he likes to ride it in between the desks.
I watch him from the corner of my eye, blasting rap music from the boombox balanced precariously on the handle bars.
Sometimes, he lets people ride. So one day, I asked for a chance. The boy hand am over.
I climb the thing. I forget say, im be 6 foot plus and if no be for God wey pity me, I for no graze the five foot mark. Na im we con dey find ladder make i take reach the seat. After some time, two guys lifted up.
My feet no gree reach the pedals. We try adjust the thing but we no get spanner. So, the guy say im go push me if I just siddon on top. By this time, na 3.30 am. the entire studio don stop to watch the african demonstrate.
Na im this boy push me.
Somehow, we no correctly discuss the parameters of the pushing because na me the class take experiment physics when they see me perform some superman moves.
Needless to say, I don't believe I can fly. I know

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL.

I can imagine how the helmet does not fit with ur hair in the wind story. I've always wanted a bike too, but I have not gotten one yet.

Needless to say, I'm kinda scared of driving bikes on the street. When I'm driving, I sometimes feel tempted 2 knock those darn bikers down cause they never seem 2 know when to go and when 2 stop, so I'm scared of a car runnin me over. Maybe if I have a place to drive it (like a country side area where cars do not pass, lol). Until then sha...

LittleGirlLost said...

The end of a dream?
reading that I felt your loss.

Sparkle said...

LOL, I'd like my hair to fly in the wind but too bad, now I have a low cut
the story is crazy
very funny

Chameleon said...

LOL... Waffy honestly, first the snowmobile, now bicycle... u sure ur a genuine blueblood waffy babe?

Waffarian said...

@omo-obanta: yes oh! na you win today!hehhehhe

@chidi:This hair business, e tire me oh, nobody told me when I was growing up that I would be suffering like this!

@surviving with truth: oh girl, na book you suppose dey read! hehehehh

@kramer:killer thighs?hheheeh wetin you wan use those kain thighs do? suffery suffery, my sister

@kpakpando:Modify ke? hehheheheh, i go try but that image, don dey my mind for long time, but i go try!

Waffarian said...

@laspipi: ehhhhh, you own dream pass my own sha! gas lamps?

@pink gloves: I know my dear, I should have resisted!

@london buki: I know the helmet is important cos since i got the bike, lets say I have had my share of "scrapes"!

@nyemoni: I am seriously considering that idea!

Waffarian said...

@omohemi benson: hmmmmmm, not a bad idea, not bad at all, you seem experienced in the matter...has somebody been dreaming of flying hair too? hehehehehehh

@pink satin: heheheheheh

@uknaija: An overactive imagination? an accumulation of different images in books? I have no idea, uknaija.

@unnaked soul: heheheheh, this boy self!

Waffarian said...

@ijeoma: yeah, "back to reality"

@catwalq: heheheheh! you self! how you be wan take ride the thing before? too funny!

@vera: please don't knock us down oh! abeg! I have had a small accident with a motorist, it was not funny!hehehh

@littlegirllost: Thank you, jare, you feel my pain.

@chameleon: See you! ah, we waffy people, na we sabi pass oh, we dey curious well well!

Calabar Gal said...

Enjoy ur bike, ur helmet and using ur bicycle padlock. LOL!!!