Saturday, April 7, 2007

Typical Waffy day

Yesterday was a typical waffy day, I was planning on spending the day in, drinking tea, watching Tv and phoning my sisters. Well, it started like that, untill about 3 when my friend phoned me to inform me that there was going to be a concert at a church in the city by 5. Well, that means I have to leave by 4 cos it takes one hour to get there, and then, the waffy madness started!I have to look good, its a classical concert, perhaps everybody is all dressed up, no problem, I jump in the shower, dress up, do hair, find ear rings and necklace..........eh......where is my make up bag? shit! shit! shit! I probably left it at Jojos!(yes my dear people, I only wear makeup when I must)okay, now begins the phone calls. Jojo is unavailable, probably having sex with her man who just landed.

Phone call 1

Hi Jojo! Its me, I can't find my make up bag, I think I left it at your place, yes, I know, I am finding out after a week, pls check and call me back cos all my expensive shit is in there!

5 mins later....... and I am racing around the house like a chicken without head, looking for my bus card.

Phone call 2

Hi Maria! Listen, just found out my bus card has gone out and I really don't want to pay on the bus, its fucking armed robbery! I am going to walk to the train station and apart from that, my make up bag is missing, I 'll probably come like that anyway cos I 've already done my hair. Please go ahead, I'll be 15 mins late.

Phone call 3
Hi Jojo, Its me again, can you check if I left my bag at your place? the black one? call me

Phone call 4
Hi Maria, you know what? I am not coming. I don't have any make up, its a pity cos my hair is really looking good today, damn! you would have been so proud, I even have ear rings and necklace, I went all out. Anyway, have fun, try and get laid!

Now its past four, I have decided I am not going, I open my cupboard, to change clothes........eh.....is that my make up bag? heheheheheheheh! Great! if I'm real fast, I can do my make up, walk to the train station, 30 minutes late is okay! damn, I am good!

Phone call 5
Hi Maria, I am coming after all, I found it! I 'll meet you at the church!

So now, I am out the door and walking as fast as I can to the train station, it was weird, I did not meet one single person on the way there! What is happening? Not a single soul! It was so quiet and peaceful......everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, except me, who is huffing and puffing my way to the station! I buy my card, get a cup of coffee and wait for the train. I get to my destined stop, get off and realize I have no fucking clue where the church is! hehehehe! So typical! I see a nice looking woman,(yes I know, simply gorgeous, I am fond of talking to strangers)

Conversation with nice looking woman
Me: Hi! do you know where Katherine's church is?
Nice woman: Oh yeah, you are on the wrong stop though! you should go one more stop!
Me: Oh...... well........is it far from the station?
Nice woman: Not really, its easy, I'll show you, thats my stop too! what is happening there?
Me: Concert by 5! I am very late. What about you? You look nice, a date perhaps?
Nice woman: Nahhhhhhh, I am going to the movies with a girl friend......

We proceed to have a very nice conversation, really, she tells me she would have followed me to the concert if she was not meeting friends, I tell her I would have gone to the movies with her if I was not meeting a friend. She shows me the way to the church and we wave good bye to each other, smiling, two kindred spirits, firm friends without ever exchanging names or numbers. The day was turning out to be a good one, as usual, even with all the descriptions, I proceed to get lost, but I don't mind, the city is beautiful, the sun is out, a gentle breeze is coming in from the sea, the boats are out, it is so beautiful........everything, I take a couple of pictures with my camera......I wish I could sit here forever, gazing away, no fears, no troubles, hmmmmmmmmmm, its so calm........ and all of a sudden......FUCK FUCK FUCK! I should be at the church!!!!!Why am I here? sitting on a bench? I should be at the church! I hear the church bells, I see its towers but they are so many small houses between me and the church........its impossible to find it......madness........after a couple of strange turns, I finally find it........ I go in.....

Woman: ehhhhhhhh, excuse me miss, do you really want to pay for this? its just 3 mins left!
me: Really? Damn! Was is it a good concert?
Woman: It was really nice, the "tenor" stole the show. Next year, perhaps?
me: Ehhhhh, thank you!

Phone call 6
Hi Maria! I am outside the church, sitting on a bench, unfortunately, I missed the whole concert! anyway, I'll be waiting for you here, do you know its really pretty here? I don't know why I never come to this part of the city! Anyway, I am waiting outside.

28 comments:

Idemili said...

Hahahahahaha! Mad woman. You sond like me in a weird way. We should DEFINITELY take that trip.

Patrice said...

Your "spring-into-action" posts are blog classics. This one was fantastic!

Surviving with Truth said...

looks like u eventually had a nice day! u got to slow down and smell the roses, u got to meet new people and you found out youhad ur make-up bag afterall!!! lol see, it wasnt so bad.

Ugo Daniels said...

awwwww, like the part about ya ocnversation with da stranger without xchange of names or numbers.

I have to add that yu've gat to be more ehm..errr, with your personal efects, 'nuff said

lol

wienna said...

buahaaaaa....men, u're too funny with yr stories. U should post them more often abeg.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lol.. i loved this post cos i could only imagine your up-and-down-ism(lol.. making up my own words and shit.. i'm on a roll).. i've missed you angel.. but i'm back to making my blog rounds and of course yours was one of the first blogs i visited cos you know i love me some waffy gist.. happy easter gorgeous..

vindication through innocence said...

i do that sometimes-talk to strangers that is!!But i will never let a woman give me directions again!!the woman took me around birmingham trying to find the coach station!!from where i was to the place, it took 5 mins-i spent 30mins and ended up missing my coach so had to wait til 3am!!

Orientatednaijababe said...

hahaha...i'm like dat too...i take pleasure in meeting new people, but my friends think i am abit crazy and over-friendly.
shame u missed d concert, like d lady said, u got next yr and u can then write about it

Bubbles said...

What a crazy day. If that is a typical day for u, i wonder what u would call a crazy day. take it easy.

Ms zee said...

i would have paid for the concert and enjoyed the remaining 3 mins..

hum..... next yr!!!

vindication through innocence said...

jokes-which part of the city were you in?gosh-blind assumption here but ur in Jand right?oh my goodness-have you seen the buddy vid?babe, better youtube it!

Waffarian said...

@Idemili: Oh girl, hehehehe, the kind adventure wey we dey find, hehehehhe, we must to find am. Lets plan.
@Patrice: Thanks!
@surviving the truth:yeah, it was a good day.
@Ugo daniels: Oh boy, I have tried!my mind is too scattered!
@wienna: Thanks dear, I'll try my best!
@overwhelmed: Welcome oh! happy easter dear!
@vindiction through innocence: hahahahah, yeah, sometimes, it happens!
@ms zee: Yeah, I thought about it, for about 2 seconds and then the bench seemed to call......hahahah
@vindiction through innocence: No dear, not in jand! hehehehe think sea, salt, sweet, boats....... heheheh! what video babe?

Sparkle said...

LOL, this is just crazy
very funny
na typical waffy day indeed.
I dey imagine you running around the house
lol

Mr.Fineboy said...

Waffy! You're hilarious....love ur blog o...

Nyemoni said...

hehehehehe sounds like you are always on a roller coaster... lol!

Waffarian said...

@sparkle: I am really trying, I need to go for a course or something, "time management"
@fine boy: Thanks!
@nyemoni: Heheheheeheh! I know!

Waffarian said...

@bubbles: Well, my dear, i really think i would not recognise "crazy" when i see it!hheheehehh!It would just be another "new" shit to deal with!

chioma said...

its funny how you can just hit it off with a complete stranger..it just shows your an open person and thats good. Went to show called "made in warri" on sunday..its was cool..all these waffy and non-waffy comedians performed,...and P-square ..It was put together by RMD very,very funny and we learnt all the warri slangs. God bless.ps..its a good thing the woman didnt allow you pay.

fluffycutething said...

This babe i should send u to my ex and happily tell him " i don find person wey bad reach me"

He would happily give u one of his famous lectures!!!!

I don laugh tire.... this early morning for that matter!!!

UnNaked Soul said...

LMAO! ol'girl, dis na this sweetest form of confusion I have ever read about! A Kiss-Trophy for you! he he he

Chameleon said...

hold on...
did you sit down on ur way to the church to take pictures???
i need to read again...

law_damsel said...

waffay..ahhh! u no get prob..u like complete strangers abi??? which part of europe u dey waffy jjc said he's travellin aroundvmost of western europe 4 d holidays..care 2 meet him???

Idemili said...

I just deleted the comments you sent me. I didn't do it on purpose, I was going to hit 'publish' and hit 'reject' instead! Please could you send it again?

Where are we meeting for the protest march?

chidi said...

lol

omohemi Benson said...

very eventful day

Justme said...

lol! Sounds just like me.

Calabar Gal said...

OMG!!! I loved this post. A typical scattered brain you!! Well, lets hope you make it in time for the start of the concert next year. LOL!!

Noni Moss said...

Lolllll - this is the sort of thing that happens to me - minus conversation with the stranger. Ah well - there's always next year ;-)