Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Seeking out the weak

Today, I'll be writing about something that has irritated me for a long time. Have you ever noticed as a child in school, or at work, that certain people seem to always get into trouble? They are the ones that somehow find themselves in vulnerable situations without ever knowing how they got there. In school, we'd see certain kids being bullied, they are not the ones I am talking about. I am talking about people, who for different reasons in life have no self confidence at all.One can easily make them believe they are ugly, fat, dumb, stupid, irritating and they would agree with you. As children, we all knew them,as only children are wont to, we'd tease them continously, enjoying the fact that we can have so much influence over another human being's life. We'd tell them what clothes to wear, how to do their braids right, what films to watch etc, yes, as children we enjoyed our lttle reign of power. However, as adults, a lot of us act in different ways towards such people. Most of us tend to avoid them, we get tired of being in their presence when another adult shamelessly teases them, a fact which they would never understand even if you explained it to them. The women get tired of explaining the same rules when it comes to men. We get tired of repeating the same phrases "he is just using you", "stop giving him all your money", "don't let him isolate you from your family", "you are not fat". "somebody else will love you", etc. Gradually, being weary of constantly looking out for this person, we tend to distance ourselves, believing that may be this person would learn a lesson, a rude lesson that would awaken her spirit in life. Sadly, this is hardly the case, the next time you see this person, he or she might be in a cult, wearing flowing gowns, living like a church rat and chanting on the street, an extreme example, I know, but it has been known to happen. Some adults hang in there, calling their friend from time to time, having taken on this humongous role as "parent/advisor", knowing in their heart it will be wrong to let this innocent being fall into the hands of other adults waiting to pounce on them. We go the extra mile, seeing them often, shouting, screaming, explaining, doing everything we can to put some sense into their heads. Unfortunately there are some adults that understand just how vulnerable this creature is and after watching from afar, decide to reel in the line, exploiting this poor human being like never before. It is easy to get them, show them love, in which ever form, through religion, through sex, through money, show them love and they will be yours.To those that have benefitted from seeking out the weak, I tell you, you are not smart, you are not a bully, you are not a 419, you are a poor specimen of a human being and the worst coward there is.

35 comments:

UnNaked Soul said...

First! YAY!
deep stuff... as much as I love control, I hate being responsible for another human... I always wish everyone has equal strenght so that we can all look out for ourselves... that's just one of my fears that i'll have to deal with someday...

Idemili said...

Whoa. Deep post and straight to the point. I read something like that in one of these women's mags. They are called 'Toxic friends' or something like that. People who exhaust you from continually allowing people run their lives. You end up spending your time and resources doing all you can to prevent their exploitation and it still happens.

Well done.

Ugo Daniels said...

And may i ask, waffygal, which group do you belong to? The 'doer' or the 'doee'...lol

Revealingly true post yu gat there. Pity some peeps can be such animals, taking advantage of the weak.

Waffarian said...

@unnakedsoul: I know what you mean, it is hard.
@Idemili: yeah, it will happen though, "sigh"
@Ugo Daniels: My dear, I tend to struggle between the first two groups, I try and help, then I get fed up and disappear for a while, then I come back, begin to interfere again, get fed up, back and forth......

exschoolnerd said...

i was bullied and picked on in secondary school...and it was hell...those wo or three years i spent in that school could be described as one of the worst moments in my life and it was all cause i was shy,quiet and maybe overweight and was just too weak to stand up for myself...

its not something i'd wish for my enemy..it left me depressed..but i guess those times made me stronger..made me who i am...and for some weird reason...am kinda glad...

I've forgiven all those involved but its pretty hard to forget...

Idemili said...

Hahahaha! She-goat of Odekpe! What's with you and that place?

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

GREAT POST WAFFY.

its all about control. Some people believe that having the upperhand is thier right. They can never have a vulnerable moment.. selfish human beings..

Anonymous said...

This came from somewhere.So who is this weak person?

bimbylads said...

i agree.. great post... im picking up my phone to call a victim of this,, thanks babe.. u made me realise somin n someone i had *gotten weary off*

Waffarian said...

@exschoolnerd: I am so sorry for your experience, I too was bullied not by my peers but shamefully by a teacher!I remember the "corridors" of school being a place of terror for me.
@Ijeoma: Thanks
@anonymous:Hmmmmmmmm, I find it strange that you have adopted the alias "anonymous" to ask this question. My dear, general observations in my everyday life,"this person" is more abstract than real. An accumulation of all the different vulnerable souls that have come my way in life.

Elle Woods said...

honestly....being responsible for another human being is a lot of work..my thing is, if you are a grown ass adult with out any metal or any kind of handicap..biko enh.

Orientatednaijababe said...

This is deep...it made me think about my frienships...sometimes we can get used to taking advantage of people that we even stop thinking of our actions....thanks for putting it out there...maybe people can think of how their actions affect other people's lives

Sparkle said...

that's deep
some people can't just accept the fact that they are who the are, they can't stand for themselves, they let people push them around
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything...really deep stuff

Surviving with Truth said...

First, i must say, this post is just... just great. I can just tell u truly feel what you're talking about. I tell you Waffi, some people lack conscience. This post hits home for me because i have seen a close person, someone that'd give her arm out if it's needed, get stabed in the back just because... just because she was naive. I dont even know what to say. its so disturbing.Anyway., karma is real.

Vera Ezimora said...

I need 2 forward this 2 someone. Nice post.

Calabar Gal said...

These kind of friends are horrible. I should know as they are the sort my youngest sister chooses to have as her friends all the time - the ones that isoloate her gradually from her family.

law_damsel said...

Those ones...i just hoard my stories/problems from them..the easiest way...Great Post!!

colourful one said...

survival of the fittest mehn

4wardnfiaca said...

deep, really deep.
some people can feel better about themselves until they've put others down. it's a damn shame tho. great post. I need to do a lot of forwarding myself

Noni Moss said...

Great post. It's weird - i usually place myself in the "parent/advisor" role and yes sometimes it gets tiresome. Where do you draw the line between being a good friend and tying yourself forever to someone who may well lash out at you in future for helping them out?

dairy of a G said...

yo quick fast check my blog out ASAP

laspapi said...

I know there are some who feed off the insecurities of others- the gigolo who looks for lonely, rich women, the domineering one who looks for the needy. We all must check our 'friendships' for the true motives behind them.

Good one, waffy. Insightful.

Simply Gorgeous said...

Waffy, I have come to locate you, after all the wahala you have caused on my site. So this is where you are hiding , you and your "419" protesters. Judge Daniels rules supreme. Please do not badger my judges as you will not like the repercussions...

WAFFY MUST GO!

NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!!

REPEAT NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!!

WE WANT A WAFFY FREE ELECTION!!


By the way I have agreed with you on your topic...

Back to my protest...


WHAT DO WE WANT?

A WAFFY FREE ELECTION

I CANT HEAR YOU...

A WAFFARIAN FREE ELECTION!!


JUDGE UGO FOR PRESIDENT!!

WAFFARIAN MUST GO!!!


ZAI PRINCESA FOR VICE PRESIDENT!!

WAFFARIAN MUST GO!!

(fading....)

Idemili said...

SG, you're crazy! LOL

I can't believe she actually came over. And Waffy get up from that bed. Lead us to victory oh, Che Guevara!

Revolution!

Revolucione!!

Idemili said...

Carry leg run to Law D's blog o! She and SG are calling themselves in-laws BEFORE the competition has ended!

WE NO GO GREE O!
WE NO GO GREE!

WE SMELL A 'FISH'
WE NO GO GREE!

kramer said...

Hey waffy, hope ur doing good. Its been some week anyway the internet is finally connected.
Deep and thought provoking post. You know some ppl will always oppress and be oppressed. It seems difficult to undertand but unfortunately this is the way it is. Someone with little self confidence is always vulnerable to those who thrive on others weaker than them to make feel powerful.

Simply Gorgeous said...

Idemili- what fish are you smelling? Haba, Idemili- I can see now why you could never be my inlaw...

As for you Waffarian- Who beat you. My protests have always been peaceful.


WAFFARIAN AND IDEMILI MUST GO!!

THEY ARE TRAITORS TO THE COMPETITION!!

WHAT DO WE WANT?

FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS!

NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!

JUDGE UGO DANIELS IS INNOCENT!

HE IS THE MAN OF THE PEOPLE!


WAFFARIAN AND IDEMILI ARE ACCOLADES OF THE DEVILS...


LET US JOIN HANDS- WAFFARIAN MUST GO!

(singing) WE SHALL OVERCOME, WE SHALL OVERCOME SOME DAAAAYYYYY!

(Fading.....)

dairy of a G said...

sorry for interrupting but its quite urgent come check my page out its the last time i swear. ps its true

chidi said...

ok, i need to come back and read this cos i'm on my way out now

dairy of a G said...

have a sup-splendid-delicious weekend

dairy of a G said...

have a sup-splendid-delicious weekend

Mama Bomboy said...

On one hand... you should never get tired of doing good. So if you see a trainwreck coming.. and you've warned you're friend 99 times.. what the heck.. give it another try. On the other hand.. .they say a word is enough for the wise. Some people learn by experiencing things themselves. Wise people learn by what others have gone through. And a fool will never learn.

I don't mean to call such people fools.. but sometimes it takes a good 419, smoothtalking, money stealing, love you today, dump you tomorrow guy to get you to open your eyes. If you haven't opened your eyes after one or 2 experiences. Well, then its up to God.

dairy of a G said...

The Other Side Of A Gemini now showing

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

haba
time to update

ziariz said...

oh girl, that was very straight to the point... and while its quite annoying it just boils down to self confidence which is something people build as they grow up and is shapened by many things, experiences, family, the past... and its a pity that the heart of man is desperately wicked... people will always look for other people to exploit..it happens here a lot in lagos with the guys... survival of the fittest.. it's either you wise up or you'll keep getting used.. shame but true... nice post.. i love it!!!