Thursday, April 5, 2007

What a woman wants.

I have been thinking a lot recently, about my life, my decisions yet to be made and those already made. Thinking about the good, the bad and the ugly. No matter what we do, no matter where we go, we are always plagued by one question, "did we do the right thing?", we should have waited perhaps? Thought a little bit longer, harder.We should have studied the matter properly, perhaps looked at past statistics? Unfortunately, life has no time for that. Decisions have to be made and they have to be made now. You are pushing thirty, quick, grab anybody, get a child, that womb won't wait forever!But...........I still haven't travelled to Nepal, I still have not taken the Siberian express from Mongolia to China, I still haven't learnt 8 languages, I still haven't learnt the piano, wait up! I can't decide now! Oh! But you have to my dear, mother nature is waiting for no woman.Yes, if you ask me, what do you want? I want this freaking mother nature to go away! Stop bothering me, I have big dreams, let me achieve them, do I really have to choose? Be a mother now or forever regret when you are 70 in an old peoples home with nobody to visit you! Be a mother now, or forever look at babies and regret not knowing what they would have felt like against your skin! Please, go away, I am tired of these silent whispers in my ears everyday. I don't want to have to choose. Can't I have it all? Climb the mountains of Nepal with a child on my back? Go backpacking around the world, my little one content with cheese and crackers? Do you know what a woman wants? We want time to stand freaking still! Even for a few seconds!

28 comments:

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

strong words.. i think there comes a point where a woman does ask her self that same question. I dont believe its ever possible to have it all. But mehn.. we can die trying. really nice post.

Surviving with Truth said...

Time to stand still... wow!
i'd like some of that right now, with a side order of "peace and quiet".lol
When it comes down to it Waffi, its what YOU want. Decide what you want, when you get the time, when you feel like it. It isnt everyone who doesnt have a child that regrets it at 70 (and some ppl have kids, get old, move into old ppl's home, and they still have no one to visit them) Neither is it everyone who gets married at 29 that stays married. Whats important to you? these ppl wont be there to help you out when you're struggling with the choices you make, so make sure the choices you make, are yours. Good luck jere. PS, yes u can go backpacking with a child. why not?

Nyemoni said...

lovely truthful post... Even I, a woman can't honestly answer the question "what does a woman want?"
WOW. Really, there's so much pressure coming from all sides and making up ones' mind is really influenced by what society thinks, what your family and friends think, etc and ever so often we are caught pants down making decisions which are so wrong and would ultimately affect us negatively....
I only pray that God will order our steps so that we do not constantly make wrong decisions...Atta Girl!

Idemili said...

Powerful something. It's up to you, Waf. You can't make decisions based on the future. Life is for living, NOW!!! Make up your mind, go for it and goodluck.

Ah, I too want to ride the orient express.

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

yeah i was first..

really good responses.. thus far

lol @Ide and the orient express...

4wardnfiaca said...

few seconds ke
more like a few trillions seconds... even that wouldn't be enuff.
take heart in knowing anyone who can call herself a woman feels the same exact way

Sparkle said...

In my opinion, I will say, "sometimes" life is about the future....the future is always best for those who prepare for it today...and sometimes it is always good to listen to what other people have to say about you...don't just make a decision because you feel its up to you to make it, that no matter what they say u're still going to do what you wanna do, I htink its good if you listen to other people's point of view and again...you have to make ur decision urself...no one can do that for you..but before you do anything, give a second thought about what the others have said to u ...and make your decision, you can't have it all...u just have to do what u have to do
really fast
life ain't that fair

Patrice said...

Took my nephew to the candy store, a colossal candy store, a bulk warehouse in fact. I told him, "here is 5 dollars, you have ten minutes to make your selections." One minute passed, nothing. Two minutes, still nothing . . . he was running about checking out everything, stopping occasionally in front of a bin full of a candy that briefly got his attention, before moving on. Five minutes, then six, seven, eight, and he had yet to pick out a single item. It was clear he would not get anything. So as uncle, I assumed the role of facilitor and picked a few things for him, just to get him started. As ten minutes approached, he begged me for more time. I allowed him five minutes more, even though I knew it would make no difference. I could see his frustration. Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen . . . and as the final minute ticked away, he became so stressed that he asked to leave. He hadn't picked out a thing. The enormous possiblities in that candy store and lack of time had made him indecisive. He wanted it all and instead of getting a small part of it he ended up with nothing. (Actually, I ended up choosing everything for him so he wouldn't go home empty-handed.)

You might want to read Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman. Offers many interesting perspectives on time.

This comment is way to long. Apologies.

Waffarian said...

@ijeoma: Yes, the funny thing thing is I don't want it all, I just need the right stuff at the right time!Thanks babe.
@surviving the truth: Thank you so much babe, I understand you completely.
@nyemoni: Thanks for the words of wisdom, nyemoni
@idemili: Perhaps we can take that trip together? I am dead serious!
@4wardnfiaca: Thanks girl, it means a lot!
@sparkle: hmmmmmmmm, I have to think about that, can it be that I am selfish?

Waffarian said...

Patrice, please, no apologies! Thank you so much for taking the time to write that.It was indeed thought provoking!I'll definitely be looking for that book! Thanks!

omohemi Benson said...

Can time really stand still for us?
I think what I want is to achieve what I want and be what I want to be without any sense of guilt or regret.

Thought provoking post.

Confused Naija Girl said...

its like you are in my mind. i can be the most indecisive person alive. I just always want to make the "right" decision! great post babes!

Jolade said...

God, if only time could stand still for women. Men can still have kids at age 55; walk into a university campus and pick a girl who will be all too willing to marry them and start a family with them.
My friends and I keep asking ourselves, 'how did we get so old?'. We still have a lot of things to do and yet, its time to get married and start a family before our mothers drag us down the aisle by our ears with strange men.
If only time could stand still...if only time could stand still....if only time could stand stil...

law_damsel said...

Indecisiveness?? my dear welcome 2 my world..Lollipop or chewing gum.. dats how bad i am? In God's time darl...It is well..

On a lighter note u wan learn 8 languages woh if i can speak waffy dat one is enuff 4 me, abi no b International language? well JJC made me think so INNIT??

Idemili said...

Waffy: You're on! And I AM serious.

Also I feel you on the language thing. I'm still here struggling with my French and Spanish.

Vera Ezimora said...

Yes, the plight of every woman...either now or sometime soon. Well written, Waffarian. Me likes.

UnNaked Soul said...

tic tac tic tac... it just did...
this is some really hot stuff. I can't help but wonder as well. But going by what SWT said, it is just about one of the OKs approach to situations like this... Whatever decision you make, make sure it is what will make you sleep well at 70 you execute...

That Oriental express trip won't be a bad idea oh... *wink*

Anonymous said...

You can have it all. ...but not all at the same time my dear.At everypoint in time something has to give for the other. Believe me... a woman's life is actually a juggling act. My prayer is that you choose wisely what is good for YOU.

Simply Gorgeous said...

You want to travel to Nepal..(smile). I think 30 is a hard age waffy. It is a crossraods between family and wondering "what if". I hope you make the right decision.

The results are in. Come and see who made it to the next level!

AbujaBabe said...

Lovely Post, Your right it does come to a point in a womans life when you do start to weigh things

Before i got engaged i never even wanted children, All i used to think of was My career making it big i was selfish..
That can be a good thing but then one day it clicks like you said..
I felt soo much pressure to make it and not think about children, family would always be like your too young yada yada yada if you talked about marriage and such so i just put children and settling down out of my mind..

But now i dont care i want a BABY!! i want to have my children whilst i am still young i dont feel ashamed about that anymore it's all about what I want and i want a baby!!..lol
I dont want to be having children in my 30s this is what i have realised..

Just do what YOU want Babe..
Lovely Post.
Ciao.xxx

Ugo Daniels said...

intriguing, interesting, gives room for sober reflection, meditation, etc

Nice one waffi girl

Idemili said...

Oya move to messenger! We have a score to settle. I challenge you to a duel!

laspapi said...

This looks like a direct response to the theme question in the stage play- "Anatomy of a Woman".
As with all things in life, the cards don't always fall perfectly and we have to play the cards dealt as well as we can.
patrice's analogy is an excellent one.
Forget backpacking in Nepal with the kid being fed on cheese, waffy. You can't always make the rules as you go along.

racquelle-cutie said...

nice post,its truly a hard life out there for a woman, you first try to break free your family then you try to make a name for yourself in this male dominated world then you try to have an independent relationship with your partner.whew!!!!!! that's a lot of work

chidi said...

i do believe that there i a point in a woman's life that she starts thinking about all of these things.as for me, i think my life is going very slowly. I wish for some excitment

Anonymous said...

dear waffy,no need to stress urself unneccessarily,everyone has those same thoughts.i am just 24 and believe me i think of having a child soon,funny that at my age am thinking of that when my life has just begun,and yes i'd love to do so many things.sometimes i get so confused my brain hurts.But i beleive in inner happiness and i've learnt to follow my heart coz at the end of the day no one is gonna love me better than me.My happiness is better than trying to please the God damn mother nature,i have to be content with myself and what am living for.life is too short Men! waffy if u have to climb that mountain with ur child on the back,then u God damn do it.at least ur child can brag about it,climbed a mountain when i was just a baby.hahahaha funny eh? jokes apart waffy,having a child doesnt stop u from living,enjoying life and being grateful.Maybe if u start some of the things on ur list,u'll finish just in time for the rest femine questions that lies ahead. take care waffi,and just take each day as it comes,flow along with life.regards X

Bluntremi said...

Beautiful Post!!
There is so much we all want out of life and you are right, sometimes it feels liek we may/or may not have made the right decision.

Time will tell...
Just dont regret the decions you have made. Simply learn from it, and move on...

But I think that the fact that you are thinking about it so deeply, it would be hard to make a wrong choice.

ziariz said...

what a woman wants, my sister... i feel you on this, so many things that i want to do, travel to Paris, write a romance novel, learn how to scuba dive, water ski and ice ski, re-locate and go to school, go hiking... but as i push the big "30" my grandmother and mother (how i love her..lol) i am wondering...pause the dream and grab a man... before you hit menopause..