I was so happy when I saw her on facebook, I had heard or seen nothing of her in years. I sent her a message, it captured all my emotions, how great it was to finally find her, what has she been up to, life, school, family, etc. I waited with excitement for her reply. She wrote one sentence "where have u been? are you married?". I did not reply her, I have not replied all the others who after not hearing from me for more than ten years, all they want to know is "are you married?". I remember a cousin of mine telling me how obsessed all her friends became when the big 30 came calling...all they did was talk about who is married, who is not, or who was going to be. I told her my generation is different, we are all well educated, we've seen places, we know things, 70% of my class from secondary school went to universities abroad...yeah right...my girls have failed me.
The past year must have been the most I have been in contact with them. I have not seen or heard from them for ten years. Facebook gave me the opportunity to rekindle friendships long lost, but I am afraid, we are no longer the same people we used to be. The fierce competition with pictures on facebook makes me want to puke. People long married now "updating" their profile picture with their wedding photograph. They do not want to be left behind, while we write the "awwwwwwws" and "aaaaaaahs" under the newly married couples, they want to be appreciated too. It is okay, I understand, I tell them they look so happy together, the cake beautiful, the man so handsome, she must be so lucky to have him, etc. I know how to give compliments, if you are fishing for them, I have them in abundance. So it seems after all these years apart, all my friends want to know is "are you married?". Those who are, get the good old "Thank God" and then they proceed to inform you of others who now have children. If you are not, "they will be praying for you" and also proceed to inform you of those who are now married.
It never ends.... the woman with two kids will look down on the woman with one kid, the woman with one kid looks down on the woman with no kid, the woman that is married will look down on the woman that is "comitted", the woman that is comitted will look down on the woman that has a "fuck buddy", the woman that has a fuck buddy will look down on the woman that has nobody..... and so it continues. Our fight for confirmation from our peers, society, parents, friends.
My friends have failed me, now I only reply those that at least ask "how are you?" that is the basic I expect from them, and a question I ask my friends often, "how are you?", when we get past the basics, then perhaps we can talk about every other thing in our lives. I am tired of that question being the only question being asked, I am tired of that being the only concern amongst women in this day and age. I am tired of women on facebook.