Saturday, February 28, 2009

Exhale...

Finally, I move into my new apartment on Monday. It is a small apartment and no bigger than my former kitchen, but guess what? It's my name that's on that tag! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The last time I had a place this small, I was 19 and ready to conquer the world. I feel a bit like that again, excited about my new life, which I sometimes feel guilty about considering all the horrible things happening in the world...I wish all these shitty wars would just go away and let human beings live in peace...fucking nuts...

Anyway, so on Monday, I am going to be in my own place. It is totally empty, I have not even bought a bed yet. I might just sleep on the floor with a blanket or something, but it doesn't matter because its my name that's on that tag! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!(sorry, I can't seem to get that line out of my head, its from Beyonce's irreplaceable )

Last year was a crazy, crazy year for me. I made so many changes that I overwhelmed myself. Everything was so overwhelming that I actually ran away from it all. It has taken so much energy and strength to be able to come back and face the many decisions that I made. It was tough...so tough that sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night with a panic attack, thinking, "shit! shit! shit! what the hell are you doing? you are so fucked up, this is all wrong, you can't do this, you had it all, now you've gone and fucked everything up, as usual!".

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Let me not think about it, the months of insomnia, the days of meaningless wonderings...all I can say is, at that point, the only thing I thought was, "is life meant to be this hard?", it was hardcore.

(But here we are now, 2009, and no, I did not die. It was tough and shitty, and messed up, but I did not die. And if you are going through a tough time right now, don't worry, you will not die either. Everyday is a new day and every day comes with new chances to get things right. Hold on to whatever it is you have to. I held onto this line "this is a test of the strength of your character", for me, this was going to show how strong I was...so that's what I did. Show that no matter what, na me and this life get am, nonsense!)

Finally, this ending, of the journey of homelessness,( I promise you, it was a fucking journey) will not be complete without saying thank you to all those who put up with my craiseness. My GREAT family and friends....jeez....una dey try sha...haba!

Thanks also to all the bloggers of this post who got me this apartment!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't be sleeping on the bare floor on Monday without your help! So, I thank you all.

Happy weekend. Its my name that's on that tag!!!!(can't embedd the video so just click on this link)

12 comments:

Padosh said...

first???

Padosh said...

Shitt!!! guess not!!

Ms. Catwalq said...

Congratulobia.
Moving in is in the air o...

RocNaija said...

LOL @ your link on the side.. no hateration!!

And thanks to the bloggers for helping you sleep on the floor? or did i misread that?

So wetin you for do if we donate buy you bed??

Sexkitten said...

Congrats on the new place! Your name on the tag must feel like freedom. I've been there.

I look at life as a dare. We have to decide to take the challenge or not.

Miss Iyabo Opeke said...

That was d story of my life...but I have to write, "Congratulations!!!"...it is a big deal to own property even if it is part ownership...

Miss Iyabo Opeke said...

Secondly, I am here to Campaign for nomination;

Miss Opeke wuz 'ere to drum up support to be Nominate for An Award in Naija Blogger's Award blog...Let's Go there!!!

4get Verastic...LOL...Juz gife it all to Moi!!! LOL!!!

Funms-the rebirth said...

Congrats... freedom!

"if you are going through a tough time right now, don't worry, you will not die either."

so im not going to die right, i'd make it, i shouldnt give up.... right now im waking up in sweat every night wondering wtf im doing, my decisions, issues, etc. Im being tested, my strength, my patience, being stretched....... im really overwhelmed so sorry about the ramblings

Patrice said...

Glad you are sorted. You can get used to sleeping on a carpeted floor. An alternative for making the most out of the small space is to go Japanese and sleep on a roll-up futon mattress. Just put it in the closet or corner when not in use.

Tigeress said...

Glad you got ur own place- congrats! And i pray God will grant you all your heart desires in the year 2009. :)
http://thecounselorandherthots.blogspot.com/

Loomnie said...

Congratulations!

Loomnie.

Sandrine said...

Hi Waffy,
Congrats!!!
Take care.
Sandrine