Some things are just "whatever" and some things are not.
I accept most things that come my way...with simplicity. Or at least, I try to.
I still have a lot of healing to do. I don't talk too often to people about my problems because I am always busy solving other peoples problems. I might need to change that.
I have way too many ideas in my head. I might need to sort some of them out.
It is OBVIOUS I am doomed with men.
My family and friends give me strength.
Sometimes I am so fucked up that I want to pull my hair out.
I am more confident at work.
I don't really like to do things that I don't like to do.
There is still one human being I would like to say "fuck you" to...
I need to listen to more music. I feel like I don't do that often enough.
I should continue jogging. It makes me feel a bit active in life.
I made up my own religion. Which is a mixture of everything. But I am quite happy with it. It makes me feel much better about what I am standing for in life.
It has occured to me that it might be the world that is fucked up and not me. Global warming has been on my mind lately. Human beings are as cruel as I have always suspected.
I don't eat meat so much anymore. Especially red meat. I often throw up after I eat meat these days...I am not sure what this means but my body does not accept it anymore.
I have the ability to be a loner. It is scary. I once went a whole week without talking to anybody.
I am inspired, creatively, which is so great. I am doing so many things and I love it.
I love babies and old people
Most people dont understand me, so I have learnt to keep away.
I am not sure what I am actually doing with my life but it feels like I am doing something.
Sometimes I get very lonely and the loneliness cuts through every layer of confidence that I have stacked up...it cuts deep and I am just bare...naked and empty.
I am not sure how I feel about turning 32.
Slightly depressing but I am accepting it.
I feel underachieved.
I feel life is passing me by. Shouldnt I be on a train somewhere? seeing things? Siberia? Mongolia?
Well, as long as I am still alive, I still got things to do. New chances, new opportunities, etc etc...I guess I better get on with it...this mundane business of trying to "live".
I am 32 today and I am alive. Not bad, not bad at all.
PS: In case anybody is interested, here are my thoughts when I turned 30 and when I turned 31 .