Back on track?

Okay, so I do try from time to time to break out of my usual. Meet new people, socialize more, etc etc, try and make new friends, you know. My mum would say that is progress.

But...

Why should I do all these things when nothing ever comes out of it except me getting disappointed with humanity?

I have never come out of these adventures feeling refreshed, rejuvenated  with hope for the world. More often than not, it is "damn, human beings suck!". So I usually just go back to my old life style which is not so bad. I have really good friends and family that loves me. I have my clan, so to speak. People that I know actually love me. Not people that I am not even sure if they "like" me or not. I feel better when I am doing my own things, just living my life as it is day to day, doing the things I am supposed to do and trying fucking hard to be a good person. Surely, that must be enough? Why do I keep going out there????

I am happier in my misery than in the misery of the world.

The truth is, I don't want to hide but more often than not, I can't help it. These sudden bursts of extrovert-ism often leave me exhausted and crawling back into my cocoon.