Saturday, March 31, 2007

Full moon and other stories (contd)

We decide to leave the bar, we are drunk, our feets hurt, we've been on fucking high heels for 12 hours, we need to get a cab. We are hungry, we decide to go to Jojo's place, we take a cab to pick up a bag which I left at another friend's house, we get the bag, we decide to ditch the taxi and continue with communal transportation. As we climb out of the taxi, what the fuck? is that a human being lying eagle spread in the middle of the road? Fuck! He's going to be run over! We rush over, the man is showing no signs of movement, another guy is trying to get him out of the road, obviously his friend

(I am putting both names cos I can't exactly recall who said what)

Waffy/Jojo: What's wrong with him? have you called an ambulance?
Friend: No
Waffy/Jojo: Should we call the police?
Friend:No
Waffy/Jojo: Is your friend drunk? what is his name?
Friend: No, he is sad
Waffyy/Jojo: Huh?????
We look down at this young man in the middle of the road, and big balls of tears are rolling down his face
Waffy/Jojo: What's wrong with him? What happened?

At this point, we are all trying to get him off the road, I, Jojo and the guy's friend.
Now, a fourth character appears, in the form of a young taxi driver who parks his cab by the side of the road and crosses over to help.

Taxi driver: What's wrong with him?
Waffy/Jojo/Friend: He is sad
Taxi driver: Can you all just give me a minute with him?

The three of us, move to the side of the road

Waffy/Jojo: So what happened?
Friend: You see that girl there? (he points up the road, where we can see a woman walking briskly away)
Waffy/Jojo: Did she dump him?
All of a sudden, the friend has taken offence, he screams at us,
DUMP HIM? DUMP HIM? SHE HAS BEEN USING HIM FOR TWO YEARS AND SHE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON HIM AND PHYSICALLY ABUSING HIM!!!!!!!!

At this point, the young man that was lying on the street is suddenly on his feet, his friend rushes over to his side, God knows what the taxi driver told him, the only thing we caught was "be a man, be a man", by the time we left, the man's sorrow had suddenly turned to anger and he was kicking dustbins and jumping in the air.

We moved on in our search for food, our feets hurt like hell, and we both needed to pee really badly, but our drunken state made the priority of seeking food a noble and worthwhile mission. Jojo remembered a place where they had hot dogs, we dragged our feets there, on the way, Jojo remembered I had my trainers in my bag, the ones I wore that morning!Glory be to God! The inhumane torture was over! So there we were, me in my fancy dress and trainers(with socks) and Jojo in her beautiful coat, eating hot dogs and chips at 3o'clock in the morning. We finally got home, and just before we stepped into the building, Jojo looks up and says: "Waffy girl, is that a full moon?"
I look up and see a moon, white, full, beautiful. "It sure is, Jojo!"
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that accounts for everything then"
"If you say so"
"You know what they say about full moons right?"
"what?"
"It brings out the lunacy in people, yep, that accounts for it!"

I am still hung over, I am tired but in a way elated, it must be the full moon.

27 comments:

Chameleon said...

hmmm, i think i have a full moon following around.

but thats some crazy night oh! its made me hungry for some hotdogs too.

laspapi said...

laughing at the suddenly energized suicidal chap jumping in the air and kicking over trash cans.
Yeah, when we fail, it is our pride that supports us. (When we succeed it betrays us)

Lunar- We know where the word 'lunatic' originated.

Surviving with Truth said...

Oh my word! this post is funny! ya, supposedly the fool moon makes people go cookoo...

kramer said...

Loved the post, very good writing, made me laugh. By does LOL mean laugh out loud or is it lots of love? Anyway, strange things do happen on a full moon.

chidi said...

this post is so funny! lol! i used to believe that yes strange things do happen on the full moon. i have a freind who told me that any dream i have on the full moon, no matter what it mean will come true. Hmm.... dnt know about that and someone aslso told me that if you wish upon the full moon, whateva you wish for will come to pass. Well, i have wished & wished, & its still not happening oh!!

Patrice said...

lol . . . for a moment there, I thought you were describing a real life version of this Radiohead classic video.

Idemili said...

Hahahaah! Some night! Where you live sef? Anyway, sebi you don't want to MSN again?

Cham, I forgot to email you. Doing it now.

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

what an eventful night.. nawa oh! people sef.. how are you going to go lie in the middle of the road.. anyways... cant fault him. heartbreak is the shit.

law_damsel said...

Waffy, na u dey enjoy oh!! All dat drama in one nite...wat i will do 2 get dat excitememt ova ere..
As 4 dis full moon yarn all new 2 me, let me go n ask my teacher: Mr google

bimbylads said...

lolllllllllll @ the story.. u relayed it excellently.. LOLL!!!

mad fun u had.. glad no one turned into a wolf.. !

omohemi Benson said...

lol@the dude on the road,thank God he "rose".
12hours on heels, I hail o! haba!

Funny post.

DonCasiragi said...

na wa o..dis love business must be a very serious one indeed. The taxi driver by the way might just be wasting his talen- he might be the next Dr. Phil - una thinks am think say im easy to cure suicide? na disease o!

Simply Gorgeous said...

Wow, I would have been scard to approach thse people. I am afraid of crazy people, seriosly. Waffy, your stories are thrilling...

Confused Naija Girl said...

it really must be the full moon oh!

Sparkle said...

Well, I really don't believe in such things...I sometimes cast my belives in things I see in movies, like Full Moon making ppl go hay wire and stuffs like that
Kramer, LOL here means laugh out loud.

Waffarian, this is an interesting blog u have...really nice

Nyemoni said...

LMAO!! Full moon indeed!

LittleGirlLost said...

Funny sequence of events.
I found myself laughing at the sad guy.
Alcohol, full moons and nights out great combo.

LondonBuki said...

LOL! He was lying in the middle of the road????

What a night... I saw a yellow full moon yesterday!

Kpakpando said...

Only oyibo people get time for that nonsense... dem no get enough wahala in their life that's why they can afford such stupidity. He say he wan die because of ashewo? Die now! Nonsense!

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

I GO VEX OH.. IF I COME HERE AGAIN AND NO UPDATE.

bimbylads said...

updateeeeeeeeeeee.. loll

Simply Gorgeous said...

Waffy babe- you are one of the candidates. I have updated, and so should you...

laspapi said...

update, babe.

Waffarian said...

@chameleon: Ehh, oh girl, hope e don pass cause craisness no easy oh!
@Laspipi: You should have seen him! Yes, men ehhhhh, small man talk and una go begin misbehave anyhow!
surviving with truth:heheheheh, cookoo!
@kramer: Thank you dear
@chidi: na so dem talk oh!
@Patrice: Saw the video, yeah made me laugh! especially when the police guy pulled over! reminded me of taxi driver!
@Idemili: it was indeed a memorable night!

Waffarian said...

@Ijeoma: na heartbreak oh, if na my bros, the kain hot slap wey i for give am!
@lawdamsel: na real drama, infact, i dey fear to comot now!
@simply gorgeous: why now? people are good oh! i have met many wonderful people in the weirdest of circumstances! sometimes, a little smile or pat on the shoulder from a stranger goes a long way!
@Bimbylads: my sister, i checked myself twice when I got home!
@omohemi: 12 hours on heels, my sister! but you should have seen my feet the next day! I had blisters on my small toes!
@doncasiragi: hehehehehe, don't mind that taxi driver, you should have seen the authourity he used to tell us to step aside!
@Cng: strange indeed!
@sparkle: Thanks dear!
@nyemoni: madness!
@littlegirllost: Yeah, anything with alcohol makes for a great combo!
@londonbuki: A night to remember!
@kpakpando: hehehehehehe na because of ashewo oh! heheheheheh

mimi said...

about the mad guy that is jus crayzay,full moon, unusual stuff

NaijaBloke said...

Full moon for real ..

Happy Easter