Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Just thinking....
Do you sometimes get tired of reacting to things around you and for the very purpose of sanity choose to be numb? I do that sometimes...I do that often...I sometimes think I could easily sleep half my life away...just cos I hate the very process that comes with reacting. You see, every reaction requires a thought process...you have to think did I react properly? why did I react this way? etc etc...or at least its a fucking pain for me...analyse, scrutinise etc....was it right? was it wrong? its just a fucking pain...so sometimes I choose "no reaction"...pretend nothing ever happened and then, viola! you don't have to think about it....right? Wrong. Now I am thinking, why am I so "numb"? is this really healthy, to choose a path of no reaction just cos you are lazy with the whole thinking process? After all, thats what I love to do best....think. I sometimes feel thats the only true gift I have been given...without that...what else is there to do in life? No, really? anything else more gratifying than the process of your thoughts?
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9 comments:
i suspected you might be a winch from the very first day i visited this blog waffy, but abeg now you are scaring me. quit reading my mind already ;-)
my dear, u don't know how blessed u r. i wish i wait 2 process my reactions! i wish i refused 2 react cos am too lazy 2 think! three-quarter of my problems wouldn't have happened n d first place!
I agree with you, reacting always lets the pain in, I've learned to condition myself to be numb when faced with crisis.
But I must confess that eventually the numbness always crumbles in the end as I break down in tears and pray for help when I can't feign indifference any longer.
I hope this make sense ! lol
I hear you on the thinking bit. I decided long ago not to avoid pain or painful processes just for the sake of it. Pain is feeling and a whole lot better than the numbness that marks its absence.
This does not mean one becomes a sado-masochist. My bottom line is one day our sun will expand and consume the earth. Long before that happens all life as we know it would have ended. So what would have been the point of all that aggro?
Not "every reaction requires a thought process." Take a reflex, for example. It does not require thought at all. On the other hand, you can't "choose to be numb." Maybe you can pretend to be numb, but when the wheels are constantly turning as they do in your head, then you can't really be numb. True numbness, much like a reflex, is involuntary. Just be yourself Waffy. You have too much to give, so don't deny us.
waffy and all dis ur introspection 801 sef. abeg exhale & have a Gulder...life is like medicine, to be taken in dailly doses...
I would say it depends on what one is thinking about. If it's something positive, the process can be gratifying. If negative the opposite is likely to be the case.
Sometimes we can't avoid 'reacting' cos we've got to (for the sake and strength of our own sanity) push beyond the self made barriers we've erected for our own 'protection'.
But a few minutes of numbness daily...is arguably necessary to relieve stress and can be quite therapeutic.
Life has thrown so much at me, that some times I choose to be numb. For my sanity, I simply cannot process certain things. On the other hand, I sometimes wish I could take a vacation from my mind..its always running and never letting me sleep..
Sometimes its easier not to think. But either which way you'll still think about whatever it is you dont want to think about. However when you over analyse stuff it can bring complications and then where are you? Its too hard jare, think only good thoughts and the rest will fall into place.
Kr.
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