If you met the woman working, living on her own, (she has probably done so since she was 18), making her own money, then why the hell do you think that by some miracle, the moment she meets you, she would turn to a submissive homebody, there to serve you and you alone. It will not happen.
And if you do not like it, you know where the airport is. I am tired of men in the diaspora complaining about women. Look around you, this is where you are. How can you not know what to expect?
If you want village wife, go to village. Also, if you are unhappy here, go home. There is no point complaining day in day out and not doing anything about it. If nobody is forcing you to remain here, then I take God beg you, go home (Meanwhile, these are the same men who anytime they return from Africa will tell you how horrible it was, horrible, terrible, no light, no water, failed state, etc).
If you can not go home for some reason, no papers, refugee, etc etc. Then as the Americans would say, SUCK IT UP. That's life. It is hard.
However, stop all this "feel so sorry for myself" business. Its pretty nauseating. Do you think its better for the African woman? No. But women adapt better. We see the situation, we analyse, we do some serious thinking and we make a decision. If we stay, then we have to adapt to the environment, and thats what we do. We do not go around depressed, feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming it all on men.
If I have to meet one more African man this winter, feeling sorry for himself, I might just explode.
Suck it up.
P.S: It is winter, it is supposed to be cold. Did you not get the memo when you moved here?
P.S.S: Also, we are not here for the special purpose of keeping you warm in winter. You want warmth, get a hot water bottle.
and one last thing, and this one is for my Nigerian brothers: Was I there when you were marrying "your oyinbo"( as you all call it)? Why do you all keep calling me to talk about your stubborn wives/girlfriends? Am I a marraige counsellor? Look, stop disturbing me with your domestic woes...
Marry who you wan marry. I don't care.