Sitting here, thinking about my sister. We are all close in my family which means that sometimes you can be mean cos you know that you will always be loved no matter what you do or say. When I miss my family a lot, for some reason, I begin to take it out on them, I don't why I do that. Its not their fault that I am not with them and its not their fault that my life is different. I am the one that has chosen to live the way I live. I could pack it all up to be nearer to them but instead I live this lonely life...
When I miss them a lot, I begin to get angry. Like last time...
I talk to one of my sisters quite often cos she has skype, but I don't get to talk to the other so often. For different reasons. First, her computer was broken, then she had some internet issues...she also works crazy hours, like I do, so its a bit hard to meet on skype. However, she does phone me from work... from time to time.
Anyway, so I miss her and my family but of course, I don't say that. Instead, I just become mean and send long assed texts about how she does not care, and never calls etc. What I really mean to say is "I miss you and I wish we could talk more often"
I know I hurt her. I know this cos my family can NOT keep a secret. If you tell ANYBODY anything, in less than 24 hours, everybody would know.
Somebody would call you and say something like "don't tell "C" I told you, but she is mad at you. You are in deep shit". And then, stupid you would say something like "Ehen, let her be mad na! I am fucking pissed at her". And then, that same person will call "C" and say "Don't tell "N" I told you, but she is seriously pissed at you". And then, that same person will call "E" and say "Can you imagine that N and C are fighting?". And then, "E" will call the other "E" and say " "S" told me that N and C are fighting".
And then. Finally, you get a call from Africa and the person says "What the hell is this I am hearing? Why are you people fighting? I did not raise you guys like that, You are supposed to love one another etc etc". And then, this person just cries and you get a damn headache.
And then you say "Who told you we were fighting? We were just joking na...this family self"
And then you call C and say "Can you imagine that Mummy called me and said that them E told her we were fighting? when were we "fighting"?
And C says "We were never fighting nah...who said we were fighting? This family self! aproko will not kill them! I am sure it is E...his aproko is too much. That is how the other day...."
I think I just seriously digressed from the story...so back to my sister.
So I hurt her with my angry texts.
But it does not matter cos yesterday she calls me like twice and just gist, laugh and of course, gossip about the others.
Sometimes I am mean to my sister... but it does not matter, cos she understands what I meant to say.
I meant to say that I miss her...
My sisters and I were great in creating fantasy worlds...we could create worlds in worlds...like this one...we all thought we were "margaritas" under the hot Warri sun...for sure, one latino will show up...and we would live happily ever after...