Saturday, July 5, 2008

The phone call

My heart is beating wildly….no, I cannot do it. I turn to my right and enter the nearest building. What is wrong with me? Is this how an adult is supposed to behave? This is no life to live…dodging from people…dodging from friends just because I have no explanation. I look around in the building I am now in; it is some sort of reception. I sit down and pretend I am waiting for someone. I start flipping through a magazine as if I really have a mission there. Nobody seems to take any notice of me, which is all good because how do I explain to people that the only reason I am in a strange building is because I am dodging a friend? I do not know if I can even call her that anymore, three months have passed since I last heard from her, she must hate me by now. I might be her number one enemy. The friend that is not worth being called a friend. How did I get myself in this embarrassing position? I will tell you, but you will not believe me, but I will tell you anyway.

It all started one night three months ago. I was tired, very tired. I saw her number on my phone and I did not pick up my phone. I just could not be bothered with a conversation at that moment. It is not as if I do not like my friend, Mary. It is just that sometimes, my brain refuses to cooperate with me. My brain decides that enough is enough and it would not matter if it was the president on the phone. Anyway, so I decided to ignore the intrusive sound coming from my phone. I did not switch off my phone but I put it under my pillow, then I put two blankets on the pillow and pretended my phone was nonexistent underneath it all. Now the next day, I could have called and made up a story about how I was sick or in the bathroom or I could have just said the truth…that I was extremely tired but I never called. Then a week passed and I still did not have any good reason for not returning her call. Then two weeks passed and I felt so horrible and ashamed of myself that I definitely could not call. By the time a month passed, I felt like the most useless friend on earth…how could I do this? Why don’t I just call her and apologize profusely for my stupidity? Or better still, I could make up the greatest lie of all time…that I was sick in a hospital bed without any means of communication whatsoever…or even better…I had amnesia…I could make up the biggest story ever, and my friend would forgive me. She would hug me and tell me how much she missed me, how she was so wrong to judge me so fast…I could do all that but I do not.

Instead, I am hiding in a strange building pretending to be waiting for someone all because I cannot face my friend Mary whose phone call I never returned….I am hopeless.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

And you'd be surprised how easy it will be after you CALL her! Tell her you had issues, that always works, hopefully she won't want to know what they were. Im like that with one of my older friends, I dont call her from months and when I do its like 'that wasnt so bad'.
Kr.

Chari said...

Haha! I'm with anon 7:27...jus call the babe abeg!

Anon said...

I think you should just call her. I don't get it though...you two live in the same city, and because of a not returned phone call...you haven't seen her in three months? You might have to explain that one...

? said...

you are the funniest

Flourishing Florida said...

just call her, i'd say. if she doesn't ask u abt d day u ignored her, den don't bring it up. unless u r ready 2 tell her d truth. which is better actually. @ least, u get dat out of ur system n u guys can b friends again. much luck

The Activist said...

You are a bag of case mi-lady. Just call her. You would see how simple it will be.
Let her know you either being busy or u forgot to call her back or something and move on to the next level. Stop hiding o

NaijaBabe said...

Lol...all the dodging because of just that.

If its been up to a month and she called just that once, then brave it and say, oh really, well i dont remember...so how are you jare.

Or betterstill, just call the babe and once again, move on...no need to mention the call, unless she does

brap said...

I don't think it will be that simple there will be the awkward why did you not call me/long time no see/what have you been up to phase but if you get past that, that will be great.
Actually let us know how it goes maybe i will be inspired to call my own MARYS lol

Dee said...

Please give her a call and put an end to the hiding game. How long will you hide? If she does not mention the call...then don't bring it up. But if you feel like talking about it, then feel free. That might make it lighter on you.
A true friend will understand and the whole thing will remain in the past.

Jaja said...

I follow too...

Call her..

am an unrepentant call avoider... manytimes out of sheer laziness, other times i dont even know why.. I realise now.. it always easier to call and explain.. the eath wont quake... u wont disappear.. Its also true that u ll feel better...

As for the juju... my grandmama don die... She had connections

Naapali said...

You are human. We have all been there. When you are ready call her.

Afrobabe said...

Lmao…seems you are reading a script from my life…only mine includes family…

Jeremy said...

All good comments. I would only add that if she is a true friend and loves you, she will forgive you utterly. True friendship is about being real about everything in our lives, including all the murk that goes on in our pysche..

What you have to look forward to is a deeper level of relationship with her, or, worst case scenario, the realisation that the friendship was not that strong anyways...