This time, I could not see the TV, because of the blanket thing. I remember my first meeting with Johan...almost six years ago...he was even younger then and more handsome. I had cancelled three times...he sends me texts now reminding me of my appointments...sometimes he sends letters...our relationship has really progressed, even he has noticed how great we are together. I mean six years ago,I told him, to his face, that we can never have such a relationship. You see, I thought it would hurt his feelings...I mean I did not even enter his office for this sensitive conversation but stood at the doorsteps...clutching my bag.
He has been patient. Really. He is perhaps one of the most patient men I have in my life. I really think he cares. I am now doing things I never thought I could...like showing up for an appointment twenty minutes before. I think he is happy with me too...sometimes I think we could actually take this relationship to the next level...like not being so drugged...I thought I was ready for this...but when I cancelled twice again...we both decided to keep the drugs in.
Update: The drugs have now worn off...and now comes the memories...I don't think I ever want to see him again. Ever.