I have had enough of my adventures. My time of decadence has been greatly appreciated and definitely given me enough material to last me a life time. Even with all the madness, I have still managed to immerse myself in books. Its amazing the number of books I have read during this time and never finished. I start one, and just fling it somewhere, then go to the next. What is wrong with me? That's no way to read. What is this new impatience I have? Not only have I been reading like a lunatic but music for some reason, has crept back into my life. I listen to the same songs over and over again...like I used to when I was a teenager.
I looked around me the other day and concluded that something has got to be done. Glasses every where, empty bottles, opened boxes of packages, envelopes, just all kinds of stuff dumped in heaps here and there. This is no way to live, I thought. So I did my dishes.
Not met anybody special yet...why can't I meet anybody "special"? All a bunch of losers. People that never really know what they want or just can't make up their minds about what is important in life.
Met someone but he was not "special". We are both on the opposite ends of the scale on how we see humanity. Lets just say I am the kind one and he is the selfish one. Harsh? Not at all. Even he, admitted that he just wanted things the way he wanted them when he wanted them cos it feels "right" for him that way. A more useless explanation I have never heard. Of course it feels right! Cos its all about you! Selfish mutherfucker! Well, kiss my ass. Move on, cos I want wayyyyyyyyyyyy more than this. Thank God, I am bullet proof these days. I felt bad for some hours of course.It's not easy to let people go, of course not...but what to do? Just have to be brave and keep on moving...settling for less is not an option. Being with such a person would mean waiting for his call day and night and not really knowing "when" or "if" he would call. Enough to drive a girl crazy. Nah. I want more.