Sunday, December 21, 2008

Old bits and pieces...

Due to popular demand, okay..I lie...due to the fact that Christmas is fast approaching and a new year is just round the corner, I have decided to write a bit about my life this past year. Of course this will not be the full story as a friend has just given me the idea to write a semi autobiography so if you are still interested by next year, perhaps there will be a book.

What was I going to write about? Oh Christmas is finally here and a year has finally gone by. I met an old friend of mine the other day. My friend is originally American but this is the fourth country he is residing in now. I remember how we both used to say that we just wanted to feel "secure" and "stable". How that used to be one of the reasons for living in a certain country."I want to be stable" and he would understand...he would nod his head and we would both stare off into the distance, wondering if we would ever feel that way. Many years have passed now and meeting him in yet another country makes me feel like we are both moving further and further away from our dream. He seems to have given up. He drank his wine in silence..."what's keeping you there?" he asked. "Nothing is keeping you there" he said." You can move if you want to".

Yes I can move.

I don't know if I'll move yet but I am definitely starting over in my heart and soul. One thing I learned this year is that we all have amazing strength within us as human beings and we just need to find a way to get it out of us.

This year, things spiralled out of control faster than I ever imagined and soon enough, I realized that I could only depend on myself to pull myself out of the hole I was in. Physically, I was able to smile, meet people and pretend I was okay. Inside, I was screaming "HELP!". So that is where I was, my heart broken into a thousand pieces, my soul totured....but...I knew, for fucking once in my life, I had made the right decision. Come what may, the time had come to move on.

It was amazing that it was during this time in my life that God had chosen to send so many beautiful people into my life. People met on trains, in seminars, on buses, libraries...and yes, even on facebook!

However, one person touched my life forever. I met someone who blew me away with an act of kindness that I can never repay. Someone who kept me stable...even if it was for a short time. I had never felt safer in all of my life.

Yes...another year has passed and again, i embark on another journey.

And hopefully I'll meet even more beautiful people and angels (and I hope you all do too!)

I wish you all a very merry Christmas!

Lots of love,



StandTall-The Activist said...

Mery Xmas mi-lady. Thank God for putting someone on your way to make you a stable. We all need someone to lean on when the time isn't fun.

You are a survivor mi-lady and so am I

Enjoy every bit of these hols

Mogaji said...

Seems like you've had quite the year. Here's to hoping that 2009 is more fulfilling for you.

maitumbi said...

This was one year in which I really felt the theme song to my life was Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survice".

But through it all, one of the encouraging constants was the meeting of creative minds, especially on the internet.

In your blog,I found a lot of inspiration. Your zest for life is contagious.Sometimes, it was like visiting a shrink anonymously (and I didn't even get to pay).

And so it is so fitting, that in this season when we show our gratitude to our loved ones (even virtual ones like you) and as we celebrate christmas (in memory of the birth of father christmas :-) ), I just want to send out a shout out to let you know that you are loved.


Merry christmas my sista!

Blue in Green said...

Yes, lots of love

Anonymous said...

Merry Xmas, and a wonderful, happy, blessed 2009!

Patrice said...

Merry Christmas Waffarian!

Smile To The Bank said...

You are right, we all have amazing strength inside. Merry Christmas.

Emeka Amakeze said...

May be stability can be found in constant motion.

Isi said...

congrats dear, you are a winner!
no matter what it is, you are a winner over pain!
happy new year...and yes, it's gonna be a colourful one!

aloted said...

first time here....happy new year to u....!!!

its good to know there are still kind people out there.