Sometimes I feel like I can see everything and nobody sees what I see... or even sees me. I just sort of float around....which you might think is a bad thing but for me, its not. This is how I am when I am feeling good. I just sort of float around, existing but not existing at the same time. Its like I'm high...not really caring at all about anything but knowing at the same time that I have got to do the practical stuff...which is great because its "practical" stuff that often stresses me out and causes my anxiety. If only I could be like this all the time...
P.S: The weird thing about this kind of feeling good is that none of the guys I have ever been with have understood it. They always used to stress me with stupid questions "what is wrong?"...even when I said nothing was, my being like that stressed them out! ha ha ha. The only people that actually gets my "feeling good" signals are my family. They always know when I am feeling good and then, they use it to their advantage. Thats when somebody would say, "waffy, why not make your famous jollof rice?" or "don't you feel like baking today?"...and I would be like "yeah...sure, of course!"
P.S.S: and proof that today was a good day: I found two bottles of red wine and two cans of beer in a paper bag under my seat in the metro. I had a real struggle with my conscience about what to do with it. At first, I wanted to just leave it there, but there were so many teenagers and young people in that wagon so that would be a serious risk if any of them found it. Then the next option was to take it to the "lost and found" but I was seriously running late and the third option was to keep it, of course. Anyway, after discussing it with Persian guy, we decided that the best option was to drink it. First of all, we can't be sure that "lost and found" people will not drink it. Secondly, the chances of anybody actually going to the "lost and found" to check if their alcohol is there is quite slim...this city is full of alcoholics, especially on the train. They would know its a lost cause. Finally, its just alcohol. I am actually doing everybody a favour by keeping it. It's the responsible thing to do.
Needless to say, I am having a beer right now.