What is your passion? I was asked by another blogger, "refinedone", this question. She asked me this question in response to my "dreaming away" post. I have been thinking about it, and I have been wondering what to write. At first, I thought about giving a straightfoward answer like "my passion is reading" and then I thought she might want a more sophisticated answer, something to do with christianity, religion, Jesus, etc. At the end of the day, I decided to be honest and give a complicated account of my personality and hopefully, the answer to that question might lie in there. Who am I? i am very much in tune with myself. Who I am, my principles, morals, what I stand for in life, etc.Untill the age of 21, I was a very determined young woman. I knew what I wanted and I went for it. I had my goals, everything was planned in my head. No time for messing around. Anyway,thats all I have ever wanted,to make my goals a reality and succeed in eveything I do. However, somehow, even this began to change as I grew older,life became more complicated and things that were never planned began to happen. I realized how small I was in the world and yet how big my actions were.I knew who I was, and yet I was so afraid to live the life that I knew I should be living. I wanted to fit in, in a world that does not fit me.What would people say when they found out the truth about me? The truth being that :I REALLY DON'T CARE. I just don't care. I have tried to, I really have, but my mind often wonders. I participate in life, really I do, but it is with great effort. I have a lot of good friends but those that know me well enough would know that I don't have time for psychological drama( she said, you said, they said, bla bla bla) because I really don't care. I often "skip" people in life. People I deem are dishonest, hypocrites or just plain old assholes, but I also hang on to people that I feel are good and kind hearted. My love is passionate and demanding, too intense for a lot of men, I keep away from such men. Everybody makes mistakes so I forgive, it does not matter what, I try to forgive, however, due to my razor sharp memory, I never forget.
I know this is not what you hoped for, but here's a list of the things I love doing.
I love laughter, I love music, I love people, would not be able to live without them, I love the seas, I love everything white, I love pink and purple and I love libraries with rows and rows of books,I love the way books smell, I love little children and their innocence,I love cooking and trying new recipes, I love being in church when nobody is there, I love swimming in the wide blue sea and pretending I am the only one in the whole world, I love writing, and my biggest love of all, reading. Most of all,I love not knowing which way life would take me. I love the craziness of life and everything that comes with it. Too many things to do, too many things to think about. I am not afraid to grow older, everyday, I find out more things about myself, I love who I am and the woman I am turning out to be. I have so much to give and also so much to recieve. I am not afraid of life, I am only passing through, and I am damn well going to enjoy it while I can! So what is my passion? I really don't know and I don't care.Yeah, and my retirement plan is to live on a beach somewhere and sell pineapples.
OOPS! JUST REALIZED WHAT MY PASSION IS: LIFE!