Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Dear soul mate,
You do not know me and I do not know you. I, however, have wasted much of my life waiting for you. Every book I read, every music I heard, every film I have watched, confirmed your existence to me. I therefore, waited. Sometimes, I waited patiently and sometimes I did not.
On the days when I was impatient, I met men who I thought was you. I would be ecstatic that I had found you at last and would quickly settle into a web of deceptive dreams that many times, would have suffocated me. However, I am happy to say, that more often than not, the patient days would arrive and I would quickly see that I had woven around me, a suffocating web. I would then realize that the man in my web was not you and painfully but pedantically, extract myself.
I wish these extractions took only days but I am afraid to say, on one occasion, it took years. I used to wonder if in your search for me, you have also entangled yourself in webs of broken dreams? I wonder, if you are even still searching, or did you give up a long time ago? I wonder, do you know, I am still looking for you? I used to think we could be like Yoko and John, me and you against the world, you know. The years have gone by and you are still not here. Many times I have almost settled for less. Like I said, on my impatient days.
I am sure you are wondering why I am writing this letter to you...
I wonder as well, seeing that you may never read this blog and even if you do, you might dismiss this letter as the rantings of a lunatic, which would be a shame.
I am writing this letter to you I suppose, to inform you that I have now gone beyond those days of impatience. You might think this is a good thing but I have also moved beyond my days of patience...
I am writing to tell you that I am beyond you.
It has been a long time coming and you must admit, that this is all your fault. You are never at the right place at the wrong time or vice versa. You are simply never any where.
It hurts to tell you this but I think, there can only be one Yoko and John in the world.
It is therefore with great sadness, soul-mate, that I inform you that I no longer wish to be your soul mate. I relinquish my stake in our partnership and you are now free to search for another.
Henceforth, I wish to be known as the woman who lived life on her own.
I know you will understand, if you ever see this.
P.S: If you ever see me on the street, walk on by...