Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Abeg, no tell me wetin ya pappa be!

See me see trouble oh! Its not as if I have been living under a stone, I know all the Nigerian social rules, I know that in our world it is okay to fling in the professions of family members that have achieved status in society, but I have always thought it went something like this:

Socialite1: Ah do you know my friend? her father is General so and so
Socialite2:Ah really! My uncle Lt so and so is in the Navy actually...............
or scenario 2.
Socialtite 1: Good evening , have you met my friend? her father is in the army, perhaps you've heard of him, he was in the news the other day, General so and so
Socialte 2: Really? maybe he knows my uncle, infact my uncle was in that same news, do you know Lt so and so?

So in my big head, I have always thought it was other people that was meant to sing the praises, dear people, wetin one of my friends do the other day...........haba! infact, i am still dazed from that conversation oh! Lets call my friend Sophia........ please read this and tell me if it is normal.
Me: ah ah! long time oh! how was your trip to Nigeria?
Sophia: It was so wonderful, infact, it was spendid!
Me: Ehnn ehnnnn, so what did you guys do now?
Sophia: Well........(coughs)....... you know my parents just moved to a very big house. Infact, it is very beautiful, it was really wonderful.
Me: Congrats! how is the family? mumsie, popsie?
Sophia: Very well, you know (coughs), my popsie just bought three cars, infact while we were there, we recieved one straight from the factory(coughs again)
Me: Really! wow! things must be really good in Naija oh! if not that I can't stand the "no light" buisness , i for go dat side, try my luck!
Sophia: Yes oh.........(coughs) infact,my popsie.........................
BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, that was how the conversation started and ended. Through out the conversation, I had an urgent need to scream: "What about you? You brainless fuck! what have you achieved lately!" Well, I did not do that ofcourse, I just had to follow our Nigerian etiquette, which is: get as much information as possible and pass it on!!!!


omohemi Benson said...

No be her fault jo,
Na naija cause am,for naija,if your papa or grandpapa,no get big big name or plenty money(whether through genuine means or not) dem never see you.

Though this your friend has big issues with her esteem she needs to address.

Na my papa get blogspot,which one your papa get? :)

Waffarian said...

Heee hee! Omohemi, na wah oh!I agree with you though that it has to do with self esteem, cos I know a lot of people that are wealthy or born into extreme wealth and not once will they tell you what they own! Infact, sometimes you never know that they are rich! On the other hand, there are people that feel they need to remind you every chance they get!
and then the third category, (which sophia belongs) are people of newly acquired wealth, who sometimes will even lie in order to move up their status!

confusednaijagirl said...

hahaha YOU!!! I love your blog!! Esp about listening and passing it own.

you no naija peeps and the caste system. but i have noticed the ones with REAL MONEY!! never flaunt it because they dont need to.

nky said...

tell me about it,i live in london,where we all know is the capital for the naija money embezelment families.Just happened to have made some new friends that just cant shot up about who's poppsie is who blah blah blah...gush! somebody shoot me please!
OH! waffarian am sure u know who,they am talking about.hahahahaaa

nky said...

one more thing,we know say u be waffi but that video na wa o! as u come put am for ur blog sef,chai! e de pain me wellu wellu...

Waffarian said...

Confusednaijagirl, hahahaha, thanks!
Nky, the best part of the song is the end when he says "e don reach!" hahahahah chei, that part na real waffy, "wey you! e don reach!" In any other part of naija the translation will be : "e don do!", in proper english: It's enough!

Idemili said...

LOL! Nigeria, we hail thee. I would have just said "Oh, excuse me. I have to go see a man about a goose," and buggered off. Although you may have been accused of jealousy though.
Well, at least you did what she wanted you to do originally, 'Pass it on.'

laspapi said...

There are undeveloped minds that will always seek relevance through feats that are not theirs.