Sunday, February 18, 2007

Morning madness

Please.....whatever you do, don't put the light on......please(footsteps are coming nearer and nearer) Oh God, don't let him do it......I swear I am going to die.....I am going to fucking kill him.....
GOOD MORNING Waffarian!!!!!!!
Oh God noooooo, he is happy........I hate people that are happy in the morning, what is wrong with him......it's morning! I am going to die!

Good morning lover( I am really going to kill him.......wait.....what is he doing? is he dancing? why the hell is he dancing? Its morning! I am really going to die)

Do you want me to drop you?
No darling, its okay, I don't have to leave untill 10 today.(please........just go....)

Okay, wait........thats the front door......finally......he is gone. I should set my alarm for 9.....I need to print that stuff........that will take some time....I have to be there by 1.....I have never been there before........it might take some time to find, I should probably leave by 10:30 latest.....I'll just close my eyes for a minute......wonder why that one was so happy.......just a minute

Fuck! Fuck!! I am so dead! Its 10:30, I shouldn't be here, I should have left, Fuck! I forgot to set the alarm, okay, calm down, waffarian, calm down, one step at a time, if you are really fast, you can take the bus by 11:20 and get there right on time or a little bit late.....or should I just skip it? No! Are you crazy? I know you can make it, start printing and while you are printing, you take a fast shower.......you can do it! Common! remember boarding school! fast! super fast! lets go bitch!

Okay, its 11:10, I really need to be out of here, the printer, the lights, the tv, everything is okay, I need to get out......FUCK! where is my bag? Ohhhhhhhhh I am going to die, I can't deal with this shit, where is my bag? Calm down......It should be here, somewhere........I swear that asshole has put it somewhere! why would he hide my bag? should I call him? he is in a meeting, who fucking cares? I need my bag! Fuck! I swear I am going to kill him, this has really gone too far......hiding my bag.....Oh!there it is........okay......I need to get out...one minute left.....fuck! I think it just went by, I heard something........the bus! fuck fuck fuck!

Stupid bus! it is always late, but today, it comes on time! just my fucking luck! Okay, its official, I am late. Can't do anything more......might as well calm down.....but why was my bag behind the chair? If not for the bag, I would have made it, I am sure he put it there...I should call him and scream at him...ah, later, when he comes home, well, maybe the next bus will come earlier...I might be lucky.....

Okay, so first of all, this stupid bus comes late and now I have to stare at these two kids all the way? I hate fucking prams! and this one is a double one! with two kids in it! its an old model.....looks like a fucking wheel barrow!Fuck! the big kid is bullying the smaller one! I hope she doesn't start crying! why the fuck is the big one doing that? stop it! sadist! fucking bully!wait...is the small one going to cry?......please don't cry, I beg you......I swear i'll die........maybe I should tell the father? okay........wait.....the big one has stopped......good....I'll make it.

Somebody's phone is ringing!Fuck! I'll look, fuck, its a Somalian! Please don't speak your language, please........anything but that.....if I'm lucky she might be Ethiopian.....amharic is okay.....I could deal with that....wait...okay, she is not that loud, okay, I might make it after all.......


Shit! Where the fuck is this building? I am just 10 mins late, not too bad......If only I could find this building, 10 mins is not that bad.......

Fuck! now I am 30 minutes late! I can't find the place.....I feel like crying......should I cry? What should I do? This is sick! Its not normal! Wait! theres a map.......I might make it.....30 mins is not bad.......

Hello Waffarian, glad you could join us
Yes, you know, traffic problems, the snow.
Yes ofcourse.

9 comments:

Ubong Da said...

hehehehe this is hilarious, early morning panic attack. What happened the night before with lover boy? did he scatter your head with some good moves?

AbujaBabe said...

I've been there way too many a time .. dont you just hate it!! Pele my dear i hope all went well at your meeting all the same...
I hope you had a well deserving rest of a weekend...

4wardnfiaca said...

lol. this is real funny. i used to go thu the same routine mesef

confusednaijagirl said...

LMAO . why do you hate somalians speaking their language now!!?? shebi you can speak your own language!!

Waffarian said...

Confusednaijagirl, oh girl, in the morning any language is kind of harsh on my ears!

Waffarian said...

@Ubong, I know say na dat kain thing ya mind dey go!na only because my brain do dey work for mornings! I am a night person.
@abujababe, my weekend was fine, did a lot of sleeping!
@4wardnfiaca,men, I really go crazy on such days!

Calabar Gal said...

Glad you made it at last albeit 30minutes late. Next time, - Set the bloody ALARM CLOCK!!!! LOL!!!

kramer said...

My dear you are so obviously not a morning person. I suggest earlier bedtimes:) I know it sounds corny but what the heck!

vindication through innocence said...

this is me almost everytime ive got something important to do!!men.i feel you.early mornings are highly unbounz!!!!-its almost like cutting yourself with a blunt knife when someone wakes you up in the morning!!