Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Waffarian's winter survival manual.

Okay, my people, I don tire to see all of una for bus stop dey chatter una teeth anyhow, stamp feet like say na only una cold dey catch!So, i wan help una. E be like say una never understand this whole winter weather. cough........make I clear throat.
1. When una wake up for morning, first thing, rub ya body well well with all those "pomade" wey una dey accumulate over all the hear me, I know say una know wetin I dey talk about.

2. Wear thick stockings and vests, for the men, dem get special ones for una, no fear to ask! If ya money no reach for those better woolen stockings, no fear, them get "tights" for h/m, them dey okay too. If you no wan invest in tights, oya bring out dat old leggings wey dey ya wardrobe! ehhhhhhn, dat one, the one wey u dey nak to do ya cleaning.

3.Na dis part dey important well well. My people, no be because jacket be like astronaut space suit mean say dem dey warm! make una try for dat area, because sometimes, i dey fear say una go float for air!(JJCs, this rule no apply to una, i know say ever since una watch "coming to America", una wan try those kain jackets!)

4.Baby girls, no be everybody suppose nak boots with heels for winter!if you know say na public transport you dey use, abeg invest in some real winter boots. And how i fit talk this one? abeg, leave ya trainers at home, na im make una dey fall anyhow!

5.Buy sacrves, gloves, hats, dem dey necessary i don tire to see una for bus stop dey cover ya ears with hand.

6.Before you comot for ya house, check the internet for what times your trains/buses go. If you no get internet for house, go internet cafe, download the timetables for those trains/buses you commute with. Cellotape am for ya door. I don tire to see una dey cry for bus stop! time yaself well well so that you come 5 mins before.

7. Carry "thermos" with you wit ya favourite hot drink!. Me personally na coffee dey my own, because once winter reach, na so i dey sleep anyhow like mumu, but no fear to put hot bournvita or milo. For una wey dey wonder wetin thermos be, e be like flask, abeg, no be dat big one wey some people dey put for their breakfast settings oh! Those days, if you go village dem go get one big flask for table, special if you be guest, for morning, dem go put two slices of white bread(no butter, nothing nothing) for saucer, one tin of peak milk plus that big flask for tray! heheheheheheheh!the only other alternative na to eat hot yam and pepper stew. Till today, i no know wetin dey dat flask cos na yam i dey wack!

8. Okay this rule na better: If you get ipod or whatever, make sure say u no leave ya house without am, na im go make you no concentrate for the cold!

9. Abeg, make una dey moisturize una lips, especially the guys, una lips too dey break anyhow!and I know say una get vaseline for house!

10. This one na the last but most important!: No be because e dey cold outside una go dey heat una house anyhow! ah ah! some people, u go their house na so u go dey sweat anyhow! abeg, na im make una day freeze anyhow wey una comot house!


AbujaBabe said...

My sister you waaan kill me with Lafta!! this early Mor Mor i beg ooooooh!!!!! Where does it come from!!! Kai I Beg You got Jokes JARE!!!! Lmao!!!

Waffarian said...

abujababe, laughter is good for the soul, so no fear, even if na early morning, laugh am out well well!make me self dey comot, no worry, i go find another tory wey go sweet your inside well!

vindication through innocence said...

as in, you for try!!i was in tears men.there was me thinkin i was alone on this!!

Naija Vixen said...

i will neva 4get d day i went out with a tiny jacket in d name of fashion...i almost froze 2 death, since den 'm always good 2 go, i just flashback 2 dat day n wear a warm jacket but i hate gloves

Chameleon said...

waffy i completely agree with lip moisturiser for guys, but me i have issues; after 10 years in this jahnd- i still cant get into the whole glove, scarf and hat moves especially altogether.

confusednaijagirl said...

lol at naja vixen. I have never tried that. I will never underdress because of fashion in winter.

Waffarian said...

@vindiction through innocence (oh girl!this ya name take style long oh!) hahahah, glad you liked it!
@naija vixen, why you go do dat kain thing? hahahahahI know gloves are a pain in the ass, but just put them in your bag, just in case....
@chameleon,I normally just put everything in my bag so i always have them, even if I don't use them. Thanks for dropping by jare!

Bubbles said...

LOL. True talk my sister.