Your Big Love...

"What will I do now, Waffy?"
You ask me. As if I should know.
"It gets better. You just get on with it. What's the alternative?"
I don't know. Things are not the way any of us imagined.
You always dreamed of that knight in shining armour. Your big love.
We drank wine and talked of your big love.
We laughed until we rolled on the floor thinking about all the things you will do with your big love.
That is why telling you this is not going to be easy. All I see when I look at you is the young beautiful girl I used to know when everything was easy.
When our nights were filled with music and alcohol.
You drank Baileys when you were feeling particularly extravagant. I always drank white wine or when I was poor, beer.
Sometimes you wanted us to drink cocktails with long elaborate names.
All the time, we were looking for your big love.
We made up long fantasies of how you would meet him, how many children you would have, how many boys, how many girls, their names, where you would live.
You were always certain you would find your big love.
So even though you already had somebody, you always waited for him. YOUR BIG LOVE.
But now, its been more than ten years.
Now, you ask me, "what should I do?", you ask me because after ten years, you have finally left the man that had been your companion on the never ending wait.


I look into your eyes, its not easy to do, but we are women now. We are no longer 19 and dancing to music, high on life.
"What will happen when YOUR BIG LOVE comes? Lets say he comes tomorrow. What exactly is the big change that will happen?"
"Well, I will be happy" you say.
"I think, maybe you should start making yourself happy. This knight you know, the one we have been talking about for more than ten years, he is not yet here. And we have no idea when he will show up...IF he shows up. I think we should work with the assumption that he might..."
"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? THAT I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE? SO WHAT HAS ALL THIS WAITING FOR BEEN THEN?"
"Well...you see, thats the thing with this life thing, there is really no garantee...so, I am just thinking, suggesting, that maybe it would be wise to forget all about this man thing...just for a while...just to get your mind a bit of peace..."
"BUT I WANT CHILDREN! I WANT TO BE A MOTHER! I AM GETTING OLD!"
"If it would make you feel any better, I have given up on "soulmate"
"WHAT??? BUT YOU KNOW YOUR SOULMATE IS THERE? WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"
"Well...maybe he is...I don't know, but I am done waiting...anyway, just calm down for now...these things work out...do you remember coco jambo?"
"WHAT?"
"Coco Jambo..."